This is my story.....

[Guestt]

Hi everyone,

For the past 34 months, my twinsister and I have endured a turbulent ride through life.

We have faced tragic and traumatic events that have sadly fractured our relationship as twinsisters.

The tragic passings of our late mother in Nov 2017 and much loved senior furbaby in Dec 2019 were heartbreaking and triggered the grief cycle.

The stressful sale of our family home in Oct 2018 and our displacement due to not finding a new home to buy in Sydney. Being forced to live in temporary places of accommodation and rentals for the past 24months. This triggered our anxiety.

The neighbourhood conflict we fell victim to due to toxic neighbours who racially targeted our family and home for 8years. This left us traumatised.

We are also experiencing pre menopausal symptoms due to our age. My symptoms are mild, but my twinsister's symptoms are intense and trigger monthly emotional meltdowns/psychotic episodes. This has also triggered insomnia/sleeplessness.

The COVID19 pandemic has contributed to our loss of employment, but we are fortunate to have funds to cover all personal and living expenses.

It's obvious that our central nervous system and mental health have been negatively impacted by past events.

Our battles with anxiety, depression and emotional stress are ongoing and have been triggered by:

- Grief, displacement, pre menopause, trauma and unemployment.

I'm the planner, problem solver and project manager. Assiming these roles and taking the lead has resulted in our survival thus far.

However, I have ongoing struggles with my twjnsister due to her negative attitude, behaviour and mindset. As she uses me as an emotional scapegoat, which I believe is toxic to our relationship.

I understand that we all have different coping mechanisms to deal with grief, stress and trauma, but my twinsister is really testing my patience and tolerance.

Neither of us are taking medication, as we prefer natural supplements.

We also listen to music, indulge in chocolate, watch comedic shows and heartwarming movies.

But I also chat to people, draw/sketch, go on daily walks, pick flowers and do photography (food and floral) to keep me sain.

However, my twinsister's reluctance to go on daily walks and chat to people have further aggravated her mental health and struggles with insomnia/sleepleesness.

Please help. as we both feel alone and isolated. I also want my twinsister and I to end 2020 on a calmer and happier note.

Kind regards.

[Guestt]

Day by day, I'm just existing and surviiving not actually living a fulfilling life due to my toxic sibling.

It's like a vicious circle with no end. The daily taunts I receive from a hostile sibling are demeaning and huetful.

When will this nightmare come to an end. Why I being punished? When I've always been the mediator and peacemaker in my family? I now believe that I am the rose between two thorns (the thirns being my two siblings).

Gos help me!

[Guestt]

Apologies for the minor spelling errors/typos in my last post. As they were caused by tired eyesight😢

Errors detected were:

I wrote Gos instead of God, Huetful instead of hurtful and Thirns instead of thorns😬

[geoff]

Hi TrianaESP, you don't have to apologise for typing errors, we always get the gist of what you're saying.

Being identical can mean so many similar tastes, thoughts and illnesses, but it can also indicate that it's possible to live your own life even though your DNA could be the same.

Both of you can't drive a car when you're together, so time away might be a solution.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[tranzcrybe]

Hi TrianaESP,

Sorry to hear of your continued torment and it always feels doubly so when you are doing everything you can to help. So much responsibility rests with you to manage and you are not receiving the recognition you deserve. How is the relationship with your other sister? In such difficult times, could she be of some assistance? Perhaps a little time away for either of you may be helpful.

Escaping to a quiet place is preferable to engaging in conflict, and you can also find support anytime by talking to Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636. I would encourage you to make an appointment for your sister to see a GP - she is suffering and it's making your life unbearable.

Please go easy on yourself too, and find inner peace in quiet reflection.

Kind regards,

t.

[Guestt]

I was planning a mini break away with my twinsister to see if a change of scenery and exposure to nature would help her insomnia😊

But she's no longer interested in a breakaway and just wants a new home😬

However, her hostility and volatile behaviour are making the goal of securing a new home very difficult😢

[Guestt]

My older sister became toxic to my twinsister and I, when our morher passed. She cashed in on her % of our late mother's estate and iceased contact with us. She's living a very comfortable married life and doesn't care about us😠

In the last 24 months, our world has been turned upside down and we have a huge void due to the absence of our loving parents and furbaby😢

We have family friends that we've reached out to for assistance. Most of them are living very comfortable lives and don't seem to care about our situation😔

I have reached out to the phone based services offered by 'Beyond Blue' and chatting to the counsellors has temporarily put my mind at ease😬

With regards to seeking address from our GP, who we normally visit once a year will be difficult due to my twinsister's disinterest😬

I recently engaged with a naturopath to discuss natural supplements that strengthen our immune system and support our central nervous system. When I mentioned them to my twinsister, she rejected my suggestion😢

[tranzcrybe]

Hi TrianaESP,

"her hostility and volatile behaviour are making the goal of securing a new home very difficult" -
Are you lacking motivation to make this a reality, or are there other impediments you would like to discuss? I can understand how mentally fatiguing uncooperative behaviour can be. You need a break also.

Regards,

t.

[Guestt]

No, I don't lack motivation at all. I only get a little deflated as a result of my current situation😢

The main impediment to securing the new home is my twinsister. As as I need to obtain her agrrement and buy in to purchase our new home😬

[tranzcrybe]

Hi TrianaESP,

It's sad when families fracture and dissipate, but I know how that feels from lived experience; and parents can be the glue that holds families together - without it, we drift apart.

Good on you for calling Beyond Blue! Do you think twinsis would also have a chat? When my dad and I don't seem to be on the same page, there's usually a period of silence/avoidance, some trigger, followed by a long chat to work through the resulting debris. It's not really about what is said, but more for the sound of (calm) voices that brings it back to reality and some reassurance of the familiar. It's a release but also a reconciliation without specifically stating it as such.

Re your twinsister's rejections - yes, the right of discernment must apply and be respected accordingly, but I hope she is not doing this to be provocative as that will grind you down. Have you mentioned the incentive of having a pooch as soon as you move in?

Think happy thoughts and dream of your new home - I used to draw it (with no idea why) to inspire the qualities I was searching for!

Regards,

t.

[geoff]

Hello TrianaESP, your twin sister is holding you back and as much as there is love, you are shackled together by something, it prevents you from doing what you want to do and being able to move forward.

To be identical in looks doesn't mean that personalities are the same, in a marriage, you marry two different people and then your life develops accordingly, so are you able to move to a country location, which will be cheaper just for you.

Take care.

Geoff.