The Long Haul

[Savage-Black_Dog]

Hi
I'm a long time sufferer of major depressive disorder, I am also diagnosed with complex PTSD & general anxiety disorder.
Things have not been going well for me of late. I am having trouble finding a suitable job, my mother's health is deteriorating rapidly, my so-called friends have acted in ways that friends just wouldn't act.
I have been sleeping 12–16 hours per day even though I have a lot of things that I need to get done, I just can't muster the energy to do them.
I used to be on various antidepressants, that for me personally, did more harm than good in the end, I spent some time in a mental health ward due to this. I then weened my way off of them over a couple of"unpleasant"years.
Though I have contemplated suicide, I can't take that way out, it would be unfair to my kids & my dog.
I would like to try some of the newer psychotherapies that are available, being a truck driver (unemployed) there are some that are just not an option though.
My regular GP, whom I liked, moved on to another town & I need to find a new GP. This has contributed to my overall deteriorating mental health too.
There is much I have left unsaid here.
I'd be willing to do some counciling but finding a councillor that I am comfortable with is not easy.
Thanks for reading.

[Sophie_M]

Hey Savage-Black_Dog,

Welcome to our friendly online community. We are so grateful that you decided to reach out here today as we know it can be really tough to do this for the first time. 

It sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now and it is great that you are thinking about seeing a counsellor. You're right though - it can be tricky to find one that you click with. If you ever feel like talking some more about what is going on, please don’t hesitate to give the lovely Beyond Blue counsellors a call on 1300 22 4636 or speak to them on webchat here. While it may not offer the longer-term support you might be looking for, it can be good to have a chat and perhaps learn about different ways to access types of support if you are interested.

Hopefully a few of our welcoming community members will pop by soon to welcome you and offer some words of support and advice too. We have a great community here, many who have similar experiences to share. 

Take good care of yourself Kind regards,  Sophie M 

[indigo22]

Hi Savage-Black_Dog,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for your courage in reaching out. I can certainly relate to much of what you have spoken about and you are sounding a bit overwhelmed right now which is totally understandable. I applaud your stamina to face your depression without medication, it must be very difficult for you. I have lived with major depression since about the age of 12 and am now in my 60s, I also cared for family members when their health declined (which did not help the depression), and found out who my true friends were when I was in crises. I moved to a new place where I didn't know anyone and had to find a new doctor who had enough compassion for mental health issues, so I know that is not easy either. I am sure with your driving job, it can be difficult to make appointments to try out some new therapies. Would it perhaps be helpful to read about some of them and get a feel for what feels like a fit for you. I would also like to suggest looking into online/zoom counsellors as an alternative. You are doing your best and that is all anyone can ask, we are always here to lend support when you need it, so please post again whenever you wish, you are not alone.

indigo22