tg newbie

[Je551ca]

Hi,

I'm 39yo and I'm transgender mtf. I'm married with children and love my wife and children dearly. I've have hidden this part of me for many years now ( never told a single sole) and feel that these feelings are growing stronger and stronger.

I have been cross dressing since I was 12 yo and have always felt ashamed of it hence the secrecy I guess. Quite often ( almost all the time) I think about transitioning and have already made subtle changes, I think this causes me to feel anxious. Not sure if I should speak to my GP about this or if I should ride it out.

It would be nice to hear if anyone has had a similar experience?

Jess

[Doolhof]

Hi Jess,

I have not been in a similar position to you, I have had lots of doubts and confusion about many other issues in my life! I know how confusing it can all become.

It may be beneficial to have a chat with your GP for sure. They will be able to listen to what you have to say and may be able to suggest some groups or people that will be able to help you make your decisions as to where you go from here.

I'm not sure if you have had much of a look here on the forum, you may well find other stories similar to yours. Reading those threads may give you some ideas of the journey other people have taken.

No matter what we are experiencing in life, it does help if we have someone we can trust whom we can share with. Hope you have someone in your life.

Does your wife know how you are feeling?

You could call a service like the Beyond Blue phone support service. They may be able to suggest people who can help and support you in your area.

Wishing you all the best!

Cheers from Dools

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Je551ca,

I’m glad Dools has given you a warm and caring welcome...

I must admit my own ignorance and confess to my own privilege as a cis woman (i.e. the sex that I was born with matches my gender identity, which in my case happens to be female). But I still wanted to reply to you as your post really moved me...I hope that’s okay with you...

I imagine you must have felt (feel) such anguish and pain from having a gender and/or personal identity that is different to the gender stated on your birth certificate. I would think that must be excruciating...

It sounds like the gender that you know yourself to truly be is calling out to you louder and louder lately. I think it takes enormous courage to start making changes, so I commend you for that...that’s very brave...

As Dools kindly suggested, I feel it might help to speak to your GP, just for that extra support and advice...but ultimately that’s your call of course. That is just a gentle suggestion.

Hopefully, someone with similar personal experiences soon responds. In the mean time, I hope you’re finding your way around the forums okay, and please feel free to write any time you feel up to it. We are here to gently support you.

Kind and caring thoughts,

Pepper

[Je551ca]

Thanks for reply, Pepper😊

[Je551ca]

Many thanks Sools😊

[Doolhof]

Hi Jess,

I'm wondering if you have been able to speak to your wife about how you are feeling?

A few years ago my husband told me that he still likes me but my aging body repulses him so he wanted separate bedrooms and no physical contact at all. We are in our early 50s and he told me he would prefer to be with a 20 year old.

The reason I am sharing this is because in some strange way we still love and care for each other, but not as I would like it to be. It has taken me a while to accept our relationship as it is.

I'm just wondering how your wife might feel and react if you told her how you are feeling and if you might be able to work out a way to accommodate the changes you desire to make.

I don't think I would go as far as accepting a 20 year old girlfriend in the house for my husband...not unless she was prepared to do all his washing and ironing! Ha. Ha.

I don't mean to make fun of your situation at all, I am just trying to suggest that compromises and changes may be possible.

Cheers with respect to you, from Dools

[Je551ca]

Hi Dools,

I have briefly discussed it with my wife and immediately felt better about my situation. She got very emotional about it all and asked a few questions, I told her I wanted to seek counselling and she agreed. She has never asked me about it since. She did ask me at the time if I had ever cross dressed before and for some reason I lied. I told her that I have never before but want to explore it. I think she’s hoping that it’s all gone away.