Self Forgiveness

[I_can]

Hi Everyone,
I am a mother of 2 beautiful girls, married and currently living the life I have always dreamed of. I have been married for 10 years, however after the first year of my marriage my teenage mistakes started haunting me, and my wrong relationship choices and the emotional hurt that I have been through, started getting back to me and I started feeling depressed since then.
my wrong choices made me feel that I was responsible of hurting myself, and I should be punished for those mistakes and I do not deserve to be happy. I have always kept that inside myself and never talked about it to anyone, but I decided to open up to my husband and share with him what I believe to be my own secret and my own misery. He was very understanding and happy that I opened up to him, and he told me that I need to forgive myself.
I felt much better after sharing with him, but now I am seeking help to know how could I forgive myself for the hurt that I caused to my heart and myself. I didn’t hurt someone who I can make amends to, I actually hurt myself by my bad choices. I have learnt from those bad choices, and relationships that I had, it made me know who I am and what I want in life. But the emotional hurt I have been through affected me until now.
Thanks

[sbella02]

Hey I Can,

Thank you so much for your post, and a big welcome to our community forums.

It must've felt so relieving to open up to your husband about your experiences. Sometimes all we need is a shoulder to cry on, or somebody to vent to or listen to us. Talking can be therapeutic.

In these kinds of situations where my own thoughts are really getting to me, I try to remember to take a step back and view them more objectively, as if I am separate from my thoughts. Quite often, we are our own worst critics, and the manner in which we judge and scrutinise ourselves can be so paralysing if left unchecked. It's also important to remember that our past experiences don't define us, they've simply helped us to be exactly where we are today. Granted, this may be a lot easier said than done. But training ourselves to recognise and be aware of this is a key step in the process of self-forgiveness and acceptance of who we are.

Are you currently seeing a GP, therapist, counsellor, or psychologist about your experiences? If you feel comfortable, it may be helpful for you to have a chat to an objective third party, who can potentially offer you some professional advice too.

Most importantly, remember to take care of yourself. You, your mind, and your needs are important.

SB

[Petal22]

Hi I can s,

Wellcome to our forums.

Im sorry you are feeling this way.

I believe that through our life there are unresolved things that do keep coming up within us, I believe that they keep coming up because they need to be dealt with before we can really move forward with our lives.

Forgiveness really will set you free and letting go will help you to grow, but it’s something that you really need to do full heartedly……. Yes… you can forgive yourself……..

When your mind brings these things up you need to choose to forgive yourself you can say this to yourself…….

Maybe you could say you forgive yourself for not knowing any better as the previous version of yourself………. And then let it go..

Once you can forgive then this will open a space inside yourself and you will begin to move forward.

Sometimes emotions will arise when you go through this process just allow the emotions to be there because by allowing the emotions it will clear out old energy blocks from within. ❤️🙏

[I_can]

Hi Sbella02,

thank you so much for your support. I think it’s actually a great idea to take a step back and look at it like I am separate from my thoughts, maybe that could let me see it from a different perspective.

yea I am following up with my GP and Psychiatrist.

Thanks 😊

[I_can]

Hi Petal,

Thanks for your support. I like how you mentioned that I could forgive my old self for not knowing any better then. I have clearly come to realise that it helped me grow and be the person I am now.

Thanks 😊

[Petal22]

Exactly I can s,

We are always growing and learning as human beings ❤️

[Mark Z.]

Hi I can,

Thank you for sharing your story.

You know what, you're such an honest a brave person. It must be very hard to be completely open to your husband, but you did it, which is absolutely right. You should be proud of yourself.

Everyone makes mistakes, a lot of mistakes. Your wrong choices in the past hurt yourself, instead of feeling guilty, the way of correcting, is to love yourself, to be proud of your change, to recognise your bravery and honesty, to cherish your beautiful life now.

Mark