I feel like I don't belong in my friend group

[yhgfntrdhetfryhunj]

I feel like I don't really have any close friends at the moment and I don't fit in and am not appreciated by the friends I have at the moment. I had 2 really close friends for about a year, but our group of three devastatingly fell apart. It was mostly my fault, and I decided I didn't want to be friends with one of my friends anymore so just stopped talking to them (yes, essentially ghosting). They kept trying to reach out to me and I just didn't reply and just blocked them on everything which at the time seemed like a better idea than it was. It wasn't quite due to the fact that I was trying to be mean, It was more like I had this bad idea that I only realized was bad after I did it and when I realized my mistake I was too scared to admit it and was too scared to ask them to forgive me. Don't get me wrong, I still don't like them and after a few days those feelings faded and I felt glad that I had just cut it off with them and in my mind, I was far happier now. I'm just kinda confused because they kept messaging me about what they did wrong and why I did it so suddenly. But the thing is not even I know why I did it. And now I don't even feel an ounce of guilt or regret despite knowing I did a horrible thing. I do feel regret and guilt in other situations but after those few days, I felt fine. I was even kinda glad I did it. But anyway, since that thing I did I've felt my other best friend drift away from me a bit. She sat next to another friend in maths, which really hurt my feelings even though I know it's meant to be no big deal. And she always acts like we're best friends but then when there are other certain people there it's like I don't exist anymore. It hurts me so bad. We had planned to be friends forever. Anyway, I just signed up for this because I needed to vent. I've been feeling pretty good recently though. It just feels like I don't really belong anywhere and no one really wants to be my friend. I used to feel like I belonged, but now I'm not so sure.

[jaz28]

Hi there,

I am sorry that you are experiencing friend troubles! It sometimes feels like the end of the world in school, but it definitely is not!

Is there a reason you cut your friend off? Did they do something to hurt you? Do you just not vibe with them?

When you felt hurt in class, think of how hurt your other friend must have felt when you blocked them on everything with no explanation. In my opinion, I think it is important to give them a reason why, if you can find one - unless they know what they did. Would you be open to talk with this friend?

Maybe your "best friend" feels a bit on edge and that you might block them for no reason. I think honesty is the best policy. Talk to your friend and ask them what is going on.

I am here if you need to talk.

All the best,

jaz xx

[Croix]

Dear yhgfntrdhetfryhunj~

It seems a bit of a puzzle. If I understand you correctly -please do set me straight if I've made a mistake - for a year or so you had two good friends then you break off with one, not just by letting things slowly fade, but a pretty abrupt change.

Although that friend tried to restore matters you remained firm, but now find your other freind is maybe a little more distant.

Sometimes I do not know why I might do something until later on, so can sympathise with you when you say you don't know why you did this.

I guess until you do get an idea of why this happened it is going to be difficult. As Jaz has said there might be several reasons,

You do say at the start that you don't feel like you belong in your friend group, and a little later on that you are not appreciated, do you think this might have had something to do with it?

Has there been anything in particular in the past that made you feel not appreciated?

I know you are finding it difficult to find the reason, and although I could make suggestions I'd imagine you'd prefer to think on it for a while.

The only obvious thing to say is what Jaz has already mentioned, your existing friend might feel at sea and not know what is likely to happen to her.

If you can manage it and follow Jaz's suggestion and talk it may well help. Sometimes another close person's view can give you an idea that seems correct. Plus when people understand they are much more likley to make allowances.

What do you think?

Croix