Welcome and Orientation

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Meet your community champions!

replies: 10

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

HELP..Am I posting in the right section?

replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

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Self introduction :)

replies: 9

Hi all, Hope you are doing well wherever in the country you are. I'm Bob_22 and am hoping to start posting around these forums a little. I enjoy using my experience with depression and anxiety to help and/or reassure others who might be in a similar position. I'm in my late twenties and am currently taking a break from work, due to my last depressive episode, but hoping to start work or study soon. I used to work for another mental health, not for profit, organisation (as part of the community engagement team) so I have a little bit of experience in the mental health sector. In my down time I enjoy exercising, going to the local coffee shop, reading (when I can), going for a drive, and playing video games. I understand how it might feel to have your life impacted by mental health issues but I've been taught there are always treatment options available and that there is value in going through adversity. With that said, hope to see you around! Bob

Anaesthesia awareness

replies: 6

Hi everyone. I had a brain tumour removed in Nov and I now have daily seizures. I had the horrific experience of accidentally being conscious during the start of my operation. I could hear staff talking, but couldn’t open my eyes or alert anyone. I felt full body paralysis and as a result couldn’t breathe… As a result, my life seems to be falling apart around me. Has anyone here experienced awareness while under general anaesthesia?? I can’t find any support. None. Glover

This is me

replies: 4

Hi, I want to tell you about me. This will take a little while, but I'm hoping that by actually putting myself out there that it might be cathartic and allow me to move forward, so here goes. I'm a 54 yr old woman, and I have been caring for others for 32 yrs now. First as a parent then as a carer for my parents also as a job as a dementia carer. Six years ago I did the palliative care for my Mum who had kidney cancer, I took on all the responsibilities, and when she passed I was unable to grieve as I had to continue looking after my two children and my Dad. And now six years later I still have not grieved. I was employed as a dementia carer but had to leave the job three months ago due to burnout after four years on the job. Now I look after my youngest daughter who suffers with mental health issues and my 81 yr old Dad who has been told he has if all goes well two years left. I try so very hard to display positive vibes for them both, I however am starting to struggle. The home we rent is owned by my sister, we have been renting it for over 22 yrs now, and I have just been informed that once our Dad passes my daughter and I will be evicted. So now to bare my soul. Because I never grieved my Mum and the fact that after getting close to my clients and being there for 19 of them passing away yet still not mourning, I feel like I'm broken in some way. I don't cry. I'm constantly stressed and scared about my impending homelessness, my constant financial struggles, and the fact that I'll be dragging my youngest down with me. I can't voice any of this to my family as they don't need that on top of their own worries, and basically there is nothing they can do to remedy the problem. Every day I have feelings of extreme depression, fear, and hopelessness, I physically feel as if my heart is breaking. And I understand why, I'm heartbroken that all my hopes and dreams are not being met. That is, feeling safe/secure, feeling as if I have a future. I try to remind myself that others have it worse, my family (besides my sister) love me. But at night when I have that quiet alone time I think to myself, "once Dad is gone and when youngest has moved forward with life, what then?" I know I'll keep pushing on for my kids, putting one foot in front of the other so to speak. Although it doesn't stop the fact that I feel as if every day a piece of my soul is slowly dying off. I know there is no quick answer or solution. But thank you for reading this and seeing Me

Feel like no understands me just one person in my life

replies: 2

Hi my names Geniue I used to be on the forums and I did find it helpful I just joined up again after a break away. I guess you could say im feeling so lost and lonely.

Starting back at work and having what I think might be stress reactions

replies: 8

Heya - wouldn't mind suggestions about 'stuff I can do' The situation: I was bullied at a workplace, low grade bullying, for a very very long time. I didn't leave because I thought I was worthless. But eventually I managed to get a position in another part of the company and eventually left the company in 2019. I was burnt out for over a year. I started work again only a few weeks ago. And I find myself sort of defensive. Or I can't think and my mind goes in circles. Or I get super stressed over little stuff and I know its illogical. When I do that test that the docs and others always give you, I never score on the anxious questions. And I've only just realised that stress reactions are different from anxiety reactions. So I think I've worked out what is happening to me is a stress reaction to stuff thats WAY in the past. I have a good counsellor (I am soooo thankful...) but this is all pretty severe. Like, as severe as it gets (you fill in the blanks). So besides all the looking after my physical health and doing fun things, does anyone have any suggestions for other things I can do or things I can read to understand what is happening and how to get over this? I acknowledge that what happened to me happened over a long time so I suspect it might take a while to get over too Thank you for any thoughts or comments or suggestions.

my husband has left and I just dont know what to do

replies: 2

A few days ago my husband left for work, he is a shearer so most of his time is spent away, i sent him a message saying I was upset about a few things and that I wanted to talk and he messaged me back saying he didn't want to be with me anymore, and that he believed we were on different pages and that he didnt love me anymore. we've been together 11 years, since we were in high school, and we have a 2 and a half year old son. I had no idea he was unhappy in that way in our marriage. we had had talks about issues before but they were always resolved, he had mentioned some issues he was having with himself but had always assured me it wasn't our relationship and that he loved me. He told me he's been pretending for over a year, and in that time while he was pretending, we started a business together, so i quit my main job to do that, we had made holiday plans, we had made plans to buy and block and build a home, he said he did it because he thought it was the right thing to do. He kept telling me he loved me, so i didnt know there were changes that needed to be made and because he has come to terms with how hes feeling, he doesnt want to try and resolve them, we've never had couples counselling but he wont do that now because hes already fallen out of love and geniunelly believes that there is no future and the feelings are gone. I don't know what to do, Im in limbo, im still in our house that we rent and i have no choice to leave because financially i know that i cant afford anything else, nor do i know where i would even want to go. Everyone in our life knows him as my husband and I dont know how to go out and live my life as normal because i dont know how to tell people about him when they ask because they always do. I feel like his life is just going on as normal and nothing is changing for him, he just gets to leave and im just stuck, with not many friends because all of my friends are his friends or his family, and I have my family but they cant understand how im feeling, and all they want to do is hate him, and they want me to hate him, but I just cant. Im trying to look after myself but i havent done that in 11 years. i have no hobbies, because all ive been for the past 11 years is a girlfriend, wife and mother. I just dont know what to do, i feel stuck.

Starting a new life.

replies: 6

Hey guys! i am a Gay Autistic man with bi-polar. Atm things are changing rapidly and I’m discovering so much more about myself but am also dealing with trying to improve on myself and see how far I can go. things are getting pretty busy and I feel like I am so close to life I’ve always wanted, but I’m also worried that i might not be good enough for it. This being a new life in Sydney. I’ve made some mistakes at home and done somethings that have hurt people, mainly due to addiction. And I feel like I have to allow some space for the people I’ve hurt and also myself. I feel like I need to grow my wings and start living for myself. Build my own life! i don’t want to cut ties, but atm I’m only hurting my family and myself. Somethings gotta change.

Dealing with death

replies: 3

I am just at a loss at the moment as I have lost 4 people out of my life in the last 5 months and also have a death from the past being 9 years ago that I believe I truly have not got over. The death from the past was my husband who committed suicide, I am so angry at him for leaving me and having to bring our daughter up by myself. I was also very silly after that was in a domestic violent relationship but am well clear of that now and up the other side of that relationship. My daughter and I are very close as she is older now we are great friends as well. In the last 5 months I have been to 4 funerals and that has left me bewildered. One funeral was for a close girlfriends mother who I was close with so that was unexpected and hurt, second funeral was my very close friends husband that was also unexpected as my friend had been fighting 3 different cancers well I'm sure in the end my friend died of a broken heart not cancer she was the next to pass. I am lost without her as we spent many hours chatting about our lives and families and we talked about everything nothing was off the table. I miss her so much its had a big impact on my life and she's not there to talk my problems over with anymore. The last person I have lost hurts so much on many levels, living my life I have been to hell and back and this guy turns up and we become the best of friends over the love of a dog, over the years we just introduced ourselves to people as brother and sister he even lived with my daughter and myself on and off for years. My daughter had a bond with this guy like a father having lost her own, now he is gone so I have lost a part of my family and feel devastated for my daughter who has lost another male figure out of our lives. We do not let people close very easily we have been hurt so much even my husbands family left and wanted nothing to do with us as they blamed me for his suicide. I just stop at the moment not knowing where to turn as I have lost people I talked with and could be me not many people know me now. I think just writing this down has helped me have a little vent and I know we all have to move forward I am just having moments where I feel so lost and want to scream and I know that's ok as well. suicide is not an option for me as I would never do that to my daughter I know how much that hurts. Thanks for letting me have a rant.

Struggling to keep going

replies: 8

Hi everyone. This is my first time posting as I've been to embarrassed and to afraid to speak about my social anxiety and depression incase it makes it worse. I don't really know what to say I'm a bad communicator. I just feel like I've been going through this for too long and nothing is going to change. I've almost lost my family at this point as for a long time I've tried to cover up my problems with substances only to make it so much worse, so at the moment the best thing I can do is get help with my addictions and the thing I struggle with about that is the fact that I have to go to rehab and be around other people. I haven't worked in quite a few years and finally come back home to my family got a job, got drunk before and during it and lost the job.. Its never ending and I just needed to ramble a bit. Sorry if it was all over the place..

Not Wanted

replies: 9

I just felt like posting this here cause I just want to get this out. This last month has been the one of the worst in my life. Firstly when I thought that my life was going in the right direction I started dating for the the first time in a decade. But after got friend zoned after the second date. Then after that I got told I wasn’t successful for more jobs that I can count and no matter how I answer the selection criteria. Then on top I was clean from drugs for 8 years but relapsed from all the stress and got reckless to the point I had I pregnancy scare. I feel guilty all of this. It makes me feel not wanted. I hate myself.

Meet your community champions! replies: 10

HELP..Am I posting in the right section? replies: 10

Self introduction :) replies: 9

Anaesthesia awareness replies: 6

This is me replies: 4

Feel like no understands me just one person in my life replies: 2

Starting back at work and having what I think might be stress reactions replies: 8

my husband has left and I just dont know what to do replies: 2

Starting a new life. replies: 6

Dealing with death replies: 3

Struggling to keep going replies: 8

Not Wanted replies: 9