New and anxious about privacy

[TheLonelyGuy]

Hey guys, just created my account. I’ve been reading these forums for months now, and I’ve always wanted to start “venting”about my depression and social anxiety but my psychologist is discouraging me from doing so because she reckons I’m going to keep my negative thoughts “in front of my face” if I read and post on these forums. The other thing is I’m really scared about privacy. What if I get identified by either the authorities or anyone? It would ruin my reputation. I’m even scared of signing off with my first name at the end of my post ;/

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

There is no need to sign off with any name at all. It's a choice some of us make.

Thelonelyguy is a totally anonymous name that could be anyone.

This forum is very positive and supportive. If you read anything negative on this forum it is likely from a member that is experiencing such challenges in life which is understandable. Simply take this into account when reading and move onto the next thread is my advice.

I've been here 9 years and I can say that this forum is extremely successful in assisting people get on with life.

I hope this helps. If you have any specific questions you can start new topics and see how you go.

We also have a extensive library of topics, simply use the search bar. eg

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/depression/depression-and-the-timing-of-motivation

As you'll realise the above topic was written in a positive manner to improve peoples knowledge on depression and when to activate motivation.

TonyWK

[smallwolf]

Hello and welcome to the beyond blue forums. I agree with everything that Tony said.

I will tell you why I joined here... A place to meet other people like myself. And others responded to me with kindness.

Your psychologist have their reasons for the not being here but here is where I think this forum is helpful. By posting here I can get thoughts out of my head. Others here reading my post can then respond from a different perspective. It is, for me, like support between sessions.

I hope you are able to get something out of being here.

Fwiw... There is no way from your handle that I can find out who you are and vice versa.

[Petal22]

Hi TheLonelyGuy,

Wellcome to our forums!

The forums are usually a very positive and helpful place for people who are experiencing mental health conditions.

Its useful for some members who are suffering with a mental health condition and another member has a lived experience of the condition and can provide hope, understanding, compassion and things that have worked for them.

You are anonymous and you don’t have to sign off with your first name.

Hope to see you around the forums.

[geoff]

Hello TheLonelyGuy, I agree with those above me and I'm sorry I lost my typed reply as my PC turned off.

The psychologist may not want you to post on an open site for the simple reason that people who have been through this themselves may offer other ideas, suggestions or advice that hasn't been discussed in therapy.

To over our negative thoughts is not to push them aside but face them head on, find any trigger points that may aggravate them and then be able to know how to solve them or be able to cope with them, because if we don't then we may be faced with situations we are unable to know how to handle them.

I'm sorry the first reply was longer but hope to see you continue on this site.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[TheLonelyGuy]

Wow, I wasn’t expecting that many replies! Thanks all for answering. I’ll start posting soon. There’s millions of negative thoughts that go through my head, and the worst thing is that some or most of these are facts. For example, I’m 21 and still virgin?! That’s not normal. I’ve never kissed a girl, never been on a date etc…

[white knight]

Hi LG

I can assure you nothing will surprise us veterans here. As long as the community rules are followed go ahead.

On the topic of not feeling "normal" with development or sexual relations you might like to know that society has deteriorated over the last few decades in respect to opportunities for young adults to connect. Our grandparents (parents in my case) had ballroom dancing and due to lack of cars they met up locally, married and ad kids often at your age. Then my generation came along (baby boomer) and it was discos but not a great way to find a suitable partner.

All is not lost, we can talk about it including computer dating if and when you like.

TonyWK

[mmMekitty]

Hello TheLonelyGuy,

Just wanted to welcome you, too.

I used to write all my thoughts & feelings, especially when they semed on an endless loop. I never showed anyone what I'd written. I wrote to break the repeating thoughts & get to sleep.

Now I still write, but I enjoy the feedback from others , to show me other ways of thinking, of how to respond differently, to help me reflect on where my mind is at.

I would encourage you to continue to have discussions with your Psychologist, about posting here, what you post, & what you feel about it when you do.

As for concerns about privacy, I think others have said what I would have anyway.

If you feel you want to sign off, you could use your username, or any pseudonym or perhaps one of the emojis?

*

I'm not going to get into your virginity, whatever the age or whatever the 'normal' age is...I only wish I had been!

mmMekitty😺

[Guest_1643]

Hi the lonely guy...Re the authorities identifying u, can u give any more info on this? this forum is completely anonymous. U need an emil address to join, but uncouod create a fake one just for this purpose....that would be fine. And u are more than welcome to maintain any boundary u need here...eg if u don't want to share Ur name, etc we would support that and understand!

It's pretty hard to identify ppl from their posts here, it's Australia wide and all ages. Good to be cautious though.

Re being a Virgin at 21, I've seen endless posts on this and feel it's so common. I agree with Tony, meeting ppl is hard these days. It's a shame more parents don't help their kids and guide them a bit in dating. Us younger generations millennial and gen z are really struggling.

[smallwolf]

Hello.

If you search on the forums here (via Google)

Beyond blue virgin

You will find similar stories to your post. I guess you would not be in this group but there are also people who choose to be like that.

I don't mind saying I was a virgin at that age. I guess the question is how or if you let it define you. There were also people on mafs (?) last season. When you walk down the street there are likely to be others the same - there is no mark on you to indicate this.

I also understand how frustrating this can be given what friends might say or what you see on tv or on social media where you would think anything different was out of the norm.

I am also sure you have many skills and talents that other people like.

Listening to you