Owed to Solitude

[amd1953]

I owe a lot to my current situation in life.   In fact, it's probably as close to heaven on earth that I will ever get.   I've served my apprenticeship in the School of Hard Knocks.   It was actually a life sentence with no time off for good behaviour.   I think it was Mr. W. Shakespeare who said "All the world's a stage".   And that is precisely what we are - actors on a stage.   Some of us play our parts really well and fool the audience into actually believing what we say we are.   Then there are those who find it impossible to be anything other than what they are.   Not good actors at all.   That's where I make my entrance.   But I don't play to the audience any more because it is a complete and utter waste of time and effort.   Now that I have settled into retirement, I can stop the acting and the pretence and be whatever I choose to be.   It's a great pity that we have to spend the greater part of our lives playing to an audience.   Some people get away with turning their backs on the bright lights and sink into blissful anonymity.   This is what I am trying to do now so that I can gather a little happiness around me before I drop off the perch.   When I think back, I seem to have spent so much time trying to keep everyone else happy and giving in to do things when I don't want to.   I never had the nerve to say no so I guess I was a real pushover.   I think it's time to turn the page on the script and write my own dialogue for a change.   Or is that asking too much?   I'm not really sure myself.   Maybe I am expecting too much.   Shame on me eh?   But there will come a time when I run out of choices and that will be the end of it.   The curtain comes down on another production.   I only hope it doesn't come too soon.   If we do what we want to when we want to do it, we are called selfish.   I have nothing left to give.   It's all gone.   The audience have gone home and the stage is a dusty platform waiting for the next deception.   Sorry, production.

[Emotions26]

Saluti amd,

Doing as little as possible after years of full pelt..

Sounds reasonable 

We can do what we want as we choose to live on our own and be who we really are not what others dictate

Do you feel rested as a result?  Or perhaps too soon for your body and mind to realise that you have slowed down.

Oh to climb inside our minds and listen...observe.. 

That would be wonderful

My first thought was the mechanics and intricacies inside a very old Swiss clock

Then no that is just that... too mechanical..

For me something connecting with nature as we wear the storms and floods ...all elements of weather

tides of the ocean

wanes of the moon

rays of sunshine

sparkling stars

clouds accumulating

stillness....silence

Your thoughts?

Autopilot I did throughout my working career whilst wearing the mask..

That did not serve me well in the least..

Yes you would be very tired of thinking about your past life and making that statement might be a sign that you are shifting inside  exactly like the movement of a clock

Decluttering is a thing now isn't it...declutter our homes....declutter our minds...

Who wants the clutter from our minds though...are there op shops set up for exactly that??

Somehow I think not..

Words never fail to amaze me

I just love language

You are working at focussing less on the past and more on the present....

You do not have to live with anyone ever again amd...

we all have a choice in that..

we do not have to do what the majority do.. or what might be deemed as "normal" or "better for us"

we can determine how we live our lives and this in itself is another form of decluttering our minds..  more than that putting our own needs.. desires first  heaven forbid

Enjoy your choices

Nice to hear from you

Ems

[amd1953]

Saluti Ems,

As usual, I have had many attempts at writing something here for you.   I write a page, read it, try to edit it and then just when I have it OK, I delete it.   What a strange creature I am!   I even delete the bits I liked.   Oh well, maybe it is one of those tragic things that occur as we grow older and less tolerant of ourselves.   As Queen Victoria is supposed to have said, "We are not amused".   Not that it really matters to anyone else, of course.

I had contemplated a drive in the car today but listening to the traffic rushing by outside, it's put me off going anywhere.   So, I'm just going to stay home and be happy.   I could put some new batteries in my metal detector and see if I can find some Roman coin hoards in my nature strip.   Although, I don't recall any historical records relating to the conquest of Australia by that particular world power.   Why are men so aggressive?   Why do they need such huge armies to boost their ego?   There are so many things I don't understand about human nature.

On second thoughts, it is probably better not to worry about too much anyway.   If I can do nothing about it , what is there to worry about?   When I am gone, a different person will take my place with a different set of questions and answers.   Scary, isn't it?   Well, no, not really.   It is all part of life's rich tapestry.   I never asked to be here but here I am.   Now that is scary.   Well, I might leave it there before I find the opportunity to delete it.

May all your dreams come true

Adequately Motivated Design 1953

[Emotions26]

Saluti amd,

Ancient coin searching? What a find if your detector thingy started buzzing away.

Possibly Mayan coins...imagine...  Of course you have to report it to the relevant society... looked it up....

Protection of Moveable Cultural Heritage Act 1986

There seem to have been a wave of Acts amended or put in place in the 1980's..

Losing pieces of writing painstakingly thought out and just at the point of saving the work to a file...more than familiar with this concept...Gremlins

Technology does not like me in the least even Siri becomes upset with me at times and disappears..

It does not help when I am talking out loud to myself which I often do when outside in the garden loving just pottering around.  I might be inside pottering....I love pottering.... I also love pottery.. back to ancient relics..

Talking out loud I am often answered by Siri which catches me off guard and I have to say I do not like.

I took myself literally outside today.  Icy cold...no wind.. through the bones...So many layers on and a windbreaker jacket.. back inside heating on but cannot get warm.  I am convinced that it is colder this winter.  We have had heavy rain and the sun was out earlier but bitterly cold.

what are some of your favourite meals?  cooking a roast tonight which lasts for several meals and always tastes better the second day to my mind..

Well I am struggling for words must be my  frozen bones ...spine leads up to brain...

Time to light a fire ...I collect bark and bracken from the garden as surrounded by trees.... great kindling...only burn redgum though... 

Do you have a fire place or wood heater?

Stay warm

endless memories swim