Not sure what I'm doing

[Lighthorse72]

Hi

A wonderful Christian friend who is like a father figure to suggested I look at support forums.

I screwed my life up really badly at the start of this year and only through the grace of God and Him stopping me from ending my life I am still here.

I am also still getting over the loss of my wonderful fiancée just over 2 years ago.

Point blank - I have managed to screw my life up for a while, I haven't had contact with my children in nearly 13 years after stuffing my marriage up (it was pretty much over anyways) and being diagnosed with Dysthymia and possibly undiagnosed PTSD from a rotten childhood.

I am living on my own, lonely and find it very hard to make and keep meaningful friendships and relationships. I struggle to let people get really close to me.

Apart from Church activities, I don't go out to socialise as I hate crowded places.

That's me in a nutshell!

[Sophie_M]

Hey Lighthorse72, 
 
This is such a brave and powerful post, thank you for sharing it here.
 
It sounds like you have been going through a lot for some time now and it can be hard to know where to go for support, we hope the kind words and understanding of our lovely community members help and are a comfort to you. 
 
Being separated from family is extremely hard and many of our community have experienced similar challenges, we are sure you’ll hear from our community soon, but in the meantime here’s a few conversations that might be helpful to you.

I suffer from lonliness
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Loneliness and mental health - Beyond Blue
 
It is wonderful that you have been able to reach out for support here on the forums. You never know who might read this thread and feel less alone in their own experience. 
 
Kind regards,

Sophie M