Hi welcome
When i read your post my heart saddened, then the last sentence I drew a smile, out of all the tears fallen, you still see a positive, to appreciate you were there till the end. Im sure you'll rejoin one day.
Im 70yo, been happily married 13 years. But ive had 3 long term relationships prior and each one brought grief beyond words at their ending and one, my 1st marriage (2 little kids) ended with my suicide attempt. I just could not bare to leave my little angels.
So what transpired was 8 weeks of heavy grief until I bought land then built my first home myself. I realised a miraculous discovery. That when very busy, I didnt have as much focus on my failed marriage. Even today 30 years since that time if I dwell on people bothering me and occupying my mind, out to the shed I go to build something.
Other ideas are- plant a rose garden in his memory, schedule grief periods when you look through photos and reflect on your times together especially those funny events, consider meeting up with other widows to discuss their strategies, join a sports club (bowls, community groups).
My wife is an introvert and for the 1st 4 years here she had no direction. She plays the guitar and joined a music group to play Xmas carols where she was asked to joined a volunteer group at a community house where she distributes food boxes to financially challenged families. She now has 2 close friends, they go to bingo and swap spreads and veggies. A totally happier wife.
So more than anything keeping busy is the key.
I hope that helps lovely lady. Reply anytime
"There's no greater honour than comforting a passing loved one when you release part of your heart to travel with them..."
TonyWK
