Welcome and Orientation

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Meet your community champions!

replies: 13

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

HELP..Am I posting in the right section?

replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

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Worried about new job starting soon

replies: 2

Hi. I’m a long term depression sufferer , with intermittent ok times, and right now I’m very low. I’ve been very inactive for about a month and, for the first time, I’ve started medication and therapy. I am not improving and so I thought it would be a good idea to get back into some work. I’ve accepted a grounds maintenance position starting on Wednesday and I’m very nervous. Should I just pretend I’m ok ? What if anxiety takes over and I make a fool of myself? I do believe though that I need to get occupied to help my condition. Thanks .

I'm no longer able to continue. And no longer required to.

replies: 4

Life has stopped for me now, drained of all I had, all I was, all I will be and all that I had made. Nothing remains of life, only existence until I run out of time, I must wait now!!~ Everything has been tried, everything has been attempted, everything has failed and they all live on, belligerent to me or my position. uncaring indignation, tunnel vision and one mindedness of those I have known forever, with the total lack of understanding or Respect, has left me to now destroy my life, and all that I am or will be, through a loss of honest direction and truthful alliances by those I trusted, as I crash through the last stages. Already driven to suicide! which was survived, only to find that my life was more valuable to others than I was, hence why they live it now. now I welcome the end, slow as it progresses, but down I go, no way to stop. No matter how much I ask, or how much I beg, or how much I prove it to all, I am always made responsible for everything. Help never comes, never is it there at the end of the crisis calls of which there have been many, nor at the meetings which never go anywhere. 000 is the only way, it's no way, it's no way at all, I could not visit the kind of horror on the family's of these who destroy me, how can I??? needless to say that I don't, sleep, eat, drink water, go out, visit, take out the rubbish, clean, shower or enjoy anything, sweet, salt, happiness, love, kindness, only look forward to the horrors of it all every second of every day, as that is all that happens, even tho everyone knows!!?? etc.etc.etc. Sorry if I'm troubling you further, many thanks for reading.

Hello and introduction

replies: 1

Hi everyone,I’m Alex. I have been suffering from depression on and off for over 30 years. Most recently, I became unemployed due to a situation at work which was unexpected. I am finding things al out more frustrating and I feel like my patience wear... View more

Stuck

replies: 1

Hello! I’m new here. Me and my family relocated to Australia about a year ago. While I acknowledge and celebrate the success of the move, I must acknowledge and admit my underlying issues and self confidence gaps. Despite being invited on merit and finding a job, I often feel that I’m not good enough. This extends beyond strictly just the work environment. As an individual, I feel like I haven’t progressed in years..”stuck”. In my career, I’ve advanced and held roles in executive leadership. However, I get stuck and hold onto old patterns that no longer serve me. I feel it is currently holding me back. To continue progressing in my career I need to move past those. At home, my wife and I have the same argument over and over. I don’t change. I try and make changes but they don’t hold and don’t show growth. Eventually, we are back at the same spot. I have a lot going for me and feel dumb for having my self doubts but the reality is that it’s still there. I know that isn’t uncommon but looking for a community to share this with and looking for helpful insights from someone that maybe has experienced something similar. Being that I’ve only been in Australia for a year and that my family and friends are across the world, I feel very alone. I’m seeking counselling, have looked to become involved in the community I live in, and am working on self-management and self-development. However, I’m looking for an online community to pair up with those other tactics to really make a change this time. I’m done trying things for them to not make an impact. Now is the time. I look forward to meeting everyone and eventually look forward to contributing and sharing my feedback with others.

herstory

replies: 1

Hello to all and I'm glad to be hereI have a lot of lived experience and decided it may be a healthy exercise to communicate with a few peeps. So let me see, key gripes: stigmatisation - this often comes from those who wouldn't have a clue, but I manage mostly by priding myself on my courage, optimism, forthrightness and honesty; also, my efforts to maintain my health. The worst aspect of this I've discovered lately is that I lack credibility because of my diagnosis - even those in the health sector will attest to this, and it's ghastly, unfair and unjust. Recently I phoned triage because the access team doesn't exist anymore (that's how long it's been) and the staff member I spoke to who was reading from my history questioned me about an entirely different condition - is that a strategy to confuse or to complicate? I've been traumatized somewhat by stalking (cyber and real life), bullying, stigmatisation and privacy breaches - it's a long list and it's hard for me to understand why I am subjected to such bad treatment - anxiety has eroded my self-confidence and it's difficult for me to speak up when I should - when an incident occurs I have trouble articulating it because "it's a long story and I have to begin at the beginning" and I doubt I'll be believed. Because I'm so quiet and I don't bother anyone. That's the price I pay for finding inner peace and trying to stay out of trouble, with family, with neighbours, with anyone, anywhere really. Anxiety means for me deep fear, of losing control, of being harmed, and I have a chronic heart condition now to prove it. I'd like for someone to hear my story, not in a therapeutic setting but rather like being interviewed by a journalist - I'm at university and am fairly switched on - I'd like to write my own story but that would mean sacrificing time spent studying. I believe we all have very valuable stories to tell - the world needs to hear us and to learn from us. Stigmatisation is the worst aspect of having a diagnosis next to the diagnosis, and things need to happen - let's get moving on it!

Husband, father and Bi/Gay.

replies: 1

Hello, This is very new to me, to share my truth. I'm a 40 year old husband and father.I love my wife, my children and my life.I have always truthfully known who I am, but have struggled to accept who I am and share it openly. In late 2022 I finally revealed to my wife that I was bullied when I was in high school, and the reason I was bullied was because the other boys in my grade assumed I was gay. Due to this I was called all sorts of derogatory names for a gay male. I shared this with my wife as I thought I'd feel a sense of relief, and I did, in a way but felt terrible due to the fact it took away a sense of trust and faith my wife had in me and our relationship. As well, I don't enjoy upsetting people, especially those closest to me. I always wanted to be a husband and father since I could remember. My wife and I are best friends and share a great sense of humour together.In saying this, I then have these other feelings of denial, unacceptance and depression when I realised my strong sexual attraction to certain types of men.My natural instinct is to admire the physical attributes of other men and this puts me in two states of minds, which is very stressful. This is my world right now and some days are better than others.I will admit that my mental health is always at its best when I've have a proper nights sleep. When I was younger I never thought I would be trying to accept who I really am, as I always pushed my feelings aside to please others. I have had many ordeals in life which have given me a real taste of reality, which is probably why I have arrived at this time in my life. I'd love to hear from other people out there who might be in a similar situation to me, or those who have some advice.Anyway, it's been great sharing some of my story. Thanks for listening.BiMan

Atypical Migraine

replies: 8

Hi, this is first time posting and I'm not sure if this is the right place. I have just gotten out of hospital, I presented with stroke symptoms but after many tests and observations I was diagnosed with atypical migrane. As I am and have been very stressed lately I am assuming that this is the cause. Does anyone have any ideas of how I can help myself to not go through this anymore as it was quite terrifying having stroke symptoms!

Where do I start?

replies: 4

Wow....I am new to this site, and this may be my only post as I'm not sure if I will gather the nerve to come and post again. I think Beyond Blue does great things to provide mental health support. I'm stuck emotionally. I lack motivation both physically and mentally and thought, heh, I should seek help. I have come here and it's good to see that so many people feel free to share. I hope that is helpful for them. I suppose just writing this is therapeutic. Well, I'm not going to share my problems as there is too much to tell and feel it is not beneficial for me, but, for those who are gaining something here, well done to you. Thanks to the counsellors on the site as you are also likely reading some really sad stuff and it must get difficult to see so many people with mental health issues. Well, since I don't feel I am gaining anything from this, I will end it here. Thanks.

Overthinking because of what I have done

replies: 2

Hi everyone I have cheated on my partner of 20 years twice and she’s always fought to want me back and I have gone back to her . Now that I love her and will never do that to her again I’m having trust issues where I think she is going to do that to me so I’m overthinking every word she says. She used to always blast me and say she thinks I’m cheating on her but now that I’m not cheating anymore because I see a future with her forever. Now she’s chill and doesn’t blast me anymore it gets me worried because I feel like she doesn’t care but she’s always telling me she loves me and wants to marry me and be with me forever. Is it just me overthinking and how can I deal with the voices in my head telling me stupid things. Thanks for listening and I hope someone can shed some light on why I’m feeling like this and how to move forward with her so I no longer take my frustration out on her and others

Driving while drinking alcohol

replies: 2

My husband drinks rum and coke while driving his car. I only notice this if I’m in the car with him and when I ask him why he’s doing this he gets angry. I feel disrespected and I’ve told him this. He tells me it’s just a drink, he’s not drunk and is ok to drive. Should I stop asking him to drive me somewhere if I need his help? Eg my car is not available for me to drive myself. He drinks every night and falls asleep, spilling drinks on the floor and furniture. We are both in our late sixties, both married previously, live alone on an isolated property. No public transport here. This happened twice this week, I told him I was shocked and felt disrespected, he said I’m always pissed off about something. He’s a good man but has some awful habits. I’m not perfect, I want to be happy and not anxious about his drinking habits. It also costs a lot of money. I have suggested alcohol free days, this never happens. He is also a smoker and I have a no smoking rule if he’s in my car. I dont smoke so find the smell off putting. If I’m in his car and he lights up, I open the window to blow out his smoke. Do I put up with his behaviour or keep being pissed off and telling him how I feel.

Meet your community champions! replies: 13

HELP..Am I posting in the right section? replies: 10

Worried about new job starting soon replies: 2

I'm no longer able to continue. And no longer required to. replies: 4

Hello and introduction replies: 1

Stuck replies: 1

herstory replies: 1

Husband, father and Bi/Gay. replies: 1

Atypical Migraine replies: 8

Where do I start? replies: 4

Overthinking because of what I have done replies: 2

Driving while drinking alcohol replies: 2