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Aaronsis HELP..Am I posting in the right section?
  • replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried th... View more

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

Chris_B Introducing...the community champions
  • replies: 22

Hi everyone, Some of you may have noticed that a few of our members are labelled ‘Community champion’ and have a beyondblue National Roadshow bus badge, like this: This thread explains who these members are and what they do. Community champions are v... View more

Hi everyone, Some of you may have noticed that a few of our members are labelled ‘Community champion’ and have a beyondblue National Roadshow bus badge, like this: This thread explains who these members are and what they do. Community champions are volunteers within the forums who: Have the time, skills and empathy to support other members Make an effort to welcome new members Are regularly and actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community as a place of hope and recovery. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! As this is a peer support community that includes members under the age of 18, it is important that we ensure our peer support community leaders have a current 'working with children' check as part of due diligence. In an online environment with anonymous posters, it also provides Beyond Blue (and the community) with some security as to the identity of who is posting as a community champion. We ask our community champions to spend at least 2-3 hours a week posting and responding in the forums, but in reality they go far above and beyond this. Like me, they’re not psychologists or counsellors, just regular folk like yourselves who have experience with anxiety and depression. I’ll leave it to our champion volunteers to reply below and let you know a bit about themselves. PS. If this is your first time on the forums and you'd like to introduce yourself, please start a new thread rather than replying in here.

All discussions

yhgfntrdhetfryhunj I feel like I don't belong in my friend group
  • replies: 2

I feel like I don't really have any close friends at the moment and I don't fit in and am not appreciated by the friends I have at the moment. I had 2 really close friends for about a year, but our group of three devastatingly fell apart. It was most... View more

I feel like I don't really have any close friends at the moment and I don't fit in and am not appreciated by the friends I have at the moment. I had 2 really close friends for about a year, but our group of three devastatingly fell apart. It was mostly my fault, and I decided I didn't want to be friends with one of my friends anymore so just stopped talking to them (yes, essentially ghosting). They kept trying to reach out to me and I just didn't reply and just blocked them on everything which at the time seemed like a better idea than it was. It wasn't quite due to the fact that I was trying to be mean, It was more like I had this bad idea that I only realized was bad after I did it and when I realized my mistake I was too scared to admit it and was too scared to ask them to forgive me. Don't get me wrong, I still don't like them and after a few days those feelings faded and I felt glad that I had just cut it off with them and in my mind, I was far happier now. I'm just kinda confused because they kept messaging me about what they did wrong and why I did it so suddenly. But the thing is not even I know why I did it. And now I don't even feel an ounce of guilt or regret despite knowing I did a horrible thing. I do feel regret and guilt in other situations but after those few days, I felt fine. I was even kinda glad I did it. But anyway, since that thing I did I've felt my other best friend drift away from me a bit. She sat next to another friend in maths, which really hurt my feelings even though I know it's meant to be no big deal. And she always acts like we're best friends but then when there are other certain people there it's like I don't exist anymore. It hurts me so bad. We had planned to be friends forever. Anyway, I just signed up for this because I needed to vent. I've been feeling pretty good recently though. It just feels like I don't really belong anywhere and no one really wants to be my friend. I used to feel like I belonged, but now I'm not so sure.

I_can Self Forgiveness
  • replies: 6

Hi Everyone, I am a mother of 2 beautiful girls, married and currently living the life I have always dreamed of. I have been married for 10 years, however after the first year of my marriage my teenage mistakes started haunting me, and my wrong relat... View more

Hi Everyone, I am a mother of 2 beautiful girls, married and currently living the life I have always dreamed of. I have been married for 10 years, however after the first year of my marriage my teenage mistakes started haunting me, and my wrong relationship choices and the emotional hurt that I have been through, started getting back to me and I started feeling depressed since then. my wrong choices made me feel that I was responsible of hurting myself, and I should be punished for those mistakes and I do not deserve to be happy. I have always kept that inside myself and never talked about it to anyone, but I decided to open up to my husband and share with him what I believe to be my own secret and my own misery. He was very understanding and happy that I opened up to him, and he told me that I need to forgive myself. I felt much better after sharing with him, but now I am seeking help to know how could I forgive myself for the hurt that I caused to my heart and myself. I didn’t hurt someone who I can make amends to, I actually hurt myself by my bad choices. I have learnt from those bad choices, and relationships that I had, it made me know who I am and what I want in life. But the emotional hurt I have been through affected me until now. Thanks

Kezza1956 Left Alcoholic husband for second time!!
  • replies: 5

After being married for almost 40 years, I left my husband for the first time 7 years ago. Things were very tense between us for about half of the first 6 years, most definitely on his behalf as he never accepted my reason for leaving. Then, our rela... View more

After being married for almost 40 years, I left my husband for the first time 7 years ago. Things were very tense between us for about half of the first 6 years, most definitely on his behalf as he never accepted my reason for leaving. Then, our relationship improved & I could see a positive change in his behavior & attitude towards me. He didn’t drink at all in front of myself or family at gatherings during this time & he seemed to have rediscovered the respect for me that had previously completely disappeared!! Drinking aside, he had always been a hard working great family man. Sadly as time progressed any nice qualities disappeared & he became an angry, impatient, intolerant, disrespectful & abnoxious man!! When things improved & I reflected on what a decent human being he used to be, I allowed myself to be lulled into the false security of giving the relationship another go. Big mistake, here I am 12 months down the track, back in the same situation after having been apart for 6 years! It’s true, despite all of the promises, leopards rarely change their spots! This one certainly didn’t & I think the heavy drinking over many years has massively affected both his physical & mental health. The most noticeable being the personality change even when he is sober & the disrespect that he shows to myself & other close family members once again but worse this time! Here goes again the process of separation! Done it before, can do it again!! He is definitely a person that is unable to just cut back on the alcohol, in order to regain his life he needs to stop altogether!

Kotaro Don't have confidence in getting help
  • replies: 2

I'm somebody with ASD and ADHD, and for the longest time I've always been able to do pretty decently in spite of this. I'd say that starting from 2020 onwards, my mental health has started to slowly decline. I'm now a pretty pessimistic and irritable... View more

I'm somebody with ASD and ADHD, and for the longest time I've always been able to do pretty decently in spite of this. I'd say that starting from 2020 onwards, my mental health has started to slowly decline. I'm now a pretty pessimistic and irritable person, and I've been known to always be complaining about something, it even feels like i WANT to be sad and upset sometimes. I've noticed that especially recently, I've been crying and getting irritated over things a lot more. I also have lost motivation for basically everything in my life, exercise, schoolwork, hobbies, healthy eating, self-care, i really just never feel motivation or drive for any of them. My health in general has declined, and I'm constantly in a state of fatigue and boredom. I seem to just totally lack any self-confidence, and I'm very hard on myself when basically anything goes wrong. While i have ASD and ADHD, things have never been this bad, and I am also medicated for my ADHD. I am very certain that there is something else going on, and that i desperately need a psychiatrist I'm halfway through Year 12, and being so close to final exams has finally made me realize just how bad I've gotten. The loss of motivation i have gotten has seemed to just halt things like me getting a job or drivers licence or anything else i should've done by the time i am 17. I have a psychiatry appointment later this month, but i honestly don't have much hope for it. I don't feel like I'll be able to open up to my psychiatrist, I'm also very bad at articulating my feelings in a way that is that coherent. I know that fixing whatever issues i have is going to be a long and painful process, and knowing that really just scares and discourages me. I just want all of this to be fixed now, but of course it won't be that simple. I'm scared of the thought of having something like depression, and i don't want to have to deal with something like it for the rest of my life. I hope that at the end of the day i can just get the help i need, without those self-doubts trying to stop it.

H-G Mental Health worker professional development plan!
  • replies: 5

Hi, everyone! Im in the process of getting my Diploma of Community Services by the end of next year and as someone who already had strong experiences with depression and anxiety I’d like to use my experience on helping others that also go through thi... View more

Hi, everyone! Im in the process of getting my Diploma of Community Services by the end of next year and as someone who already had strong experiences with depression and anxiety I’d like to use my experience on helping others that also go through this kind of issues. Mental health is my main interest so far. Some of you guys that may be already working in this sector are able to share a bit of the paths you’ve been going through in order to improve your own professional performance, getting new skills and make yourself more prepared and updated regarding the professional scenario? What skills do you guys believe are essential for this role? Are there Some basics steps one should take in order to work with clients dealing with mental health issues? Any advice and recommendations are welcome! Thanks !

Mad1990 Panic attacks/blushing
  • replies: 11

Hello All, I get really bad panic attacks because I can't stop blushing and I feel so ashamed of myself, I am always anticipating other people emotions when meeting people I always evaluate before hand what they will think of my red face. I know it s... View more

Hello All, I get really bad panic attacks because I can't stop blushing and I feel so ashamed of myself, I am always anticipating other people emotions when meeting people I always evaluate before hand what they will think of my red face. I know it sounds stupid and I have always been really confident up until a few years ago when my a friend who was the same sex as me who is a straight girl, showed all these guys naked photos of me and now I just feel so ashamed of myself and as a result I just can't stop blushing. I am no longer friends with these people and it has been many years later but as a side affect I feel still so ashamed of myself and I feel my confidence has been stripped away because of this. Its really refreshing though just to talk about it as I have never told anyone the reason I blush so much, but just wanting to know if anyone else has had a similar experience and how did they go about this?

Dust_Dirt I'm pretty sure I have all of the disorders... or most of them at least! 
  • replies: 5

Hi there. Firstly, I haven't been on here in years, and I never ever introduced myself, so I'll do that now. I hope my twisted sense of humour doesn't offend (as I don't actually have ALL of the disorders), and I'm sincerely going to do my best not t... View more

Hi there. Firstly, I haven't been on here in years, and I never ever introduced myself, so I'll do that now. I hope my twisted sense of humour doesn't offend (as I don't actually have ALL of the disorders), and I'm sincerely going to do my best not to make it always about me but that seems to be the way it is for many of us with borderline personality disorders. Born neurodivergent (with a few neurotypes). People often say that they're "neurodiverse" but everyone is on the neurodiversity spectrum - down one end you have those, with what are now recognised as "neurotypical" brains, and on the other end there are those of us that are neurodivergent (as in - diverging from that which is typical), right through to the neuro-minority end and people like me, autistic-synesthetes, etc. I know a lot of people think autism and ND is a illness but it's not (as someone with it), neither is it a "super power". But I can honestly say that I love the ND part of who I am!!! It's the rest that causes me the most issues. I had a traumatic childhood and I know that is when I changed I now know that intergenerational trauma and how that works itself into our genes plays a part in this too. First attempt at suicide was 12 years. Had attempts in the past because that didn't work I just focused all the self hatred inward. Thats when the ED and body dysmorphia started. I'm also queer - on all the levels. In 2015 I was glassed in the face which resulted in a traumatic brain injury. Making my already really different brain, really different again. But - it's my coping mechanisms that have become a full blown personality disorder, that are really destroying my life, right now. This is the first time I am writing about it - having just booked into to see my GP about it, for the first time ever. I started working through the ED and BDD last November and that's why I reckon I now have more headspace to face the BPD - yay... I'm so glad I have so many disorders. Not. It's super confronting and scary - even though I know why I do all the hypersexual, self medicating, manipulating and self destructive stuff... it's still full on to finally recognise how much harm that has caused me and others. I know I can do this though.

Victoria_M I will just start with "Hello" first!
  • replies: 4

Hello to all! Not a big onliner, but hopefully I can be an active member of this forum. Looking forward to nourishing and authentic conversation/dialogue - which I find a rare commodity these days.

Hello to all! Not a big onliner, but hopefully I can be an active member of this forum. Looking forward to nourishing and authentic conversation/dialogue - which I find a rare commodity these days.

Amuchbetterme Back Again
  • replies: 7

Hi All, I posted a bit earlier this year but starting again... this year has made me really start to reassess things. I've lost some weight and have significantly cut back my drinking. Was at a bottle of wine most days to now almost no drinking at al... View more

Hi All, I posted a bit earlier this year but starting again... this year has made me really start to reassess things. I've lost some weight and have significantly cut back my drinking. Was at a bottle of wine most days to now almost no drinking at all. That's been great but has really brought to the surface that I'm just not enjoying life right now. I have a great wife and amazing 2 boys yet I feel like my marriage is fizzling to us both very disconnected from each other, and my work is having far too much influence over my happiness affecting how truly present I am with my boys. I miss the younger "uni days" version of myself that thrived off having fun with people. Laughing every day any my study was something I just fitted in between everything else. Worst thing is I feel like I've been the luck one in so many aspects of my life so am almost angry at myself that I can't sort it myself. Anyway, I have a GP appointment this week and hope to get a mental health plan in place so I can get time with a psychologist to help really address things. I'm hopeful for a happier life - baby steps

choc37 Grandma feeling down
  • replies: 5

Hi, Until recently I had my granddaughter living with me, now she is gone I'm feeling lost and alone. Can't sleep and have no friends to talk to. Feeling like my life is over, i've come on here hoping there is someone to chat to...thanks x View more

Hi, Until recently I had my granddaughter living with me, now she is gone I'm feeling lost and alone. Can't sleep and have no friends to talk to. Feeling like my life is over, i've come on here hoping there is someone to chat to...thanks x