Hello Lallaman...
Welcome to the forums...
Im sorry your struggling with rage and pain..
I am going to share you some of my story..I was forced/tricked into adopting my 2nd child out...38 years later he contacted me...We met up and we talk some about how he has been feeling..
His adopted parents told him at a very age that both him and his sister were adopted...
He told me that once he understood properly about what adoption was..that he never felt that he belonged to his family and started feeling guilty because he wasn’t their son and they were feeding, clothing him, schooling him etc...Right through his life he felt that he just didn’t belong anywhere, or anybody...and he couldn’t love his adopted parents as much as he should have...because he knew he had his “real mum “ out their somewhere and was always thinking why?...didn’t she want me...he started being unkind to himself..
Maybe your parents didn’t want this for you..maybe they wanted you to feel a part of their family..which you are..Maybe they were frightened that you would loose your love for them...lThere could be so many reasons why they didn’t tell you..but whatever reason it was it was out of love for you that they did it that way...I’m sorry your mum has dementia and you can’t really ask her now..It must be so hard for you and I’m truely deeply sorry..
Talk here anytime you feel up to it..
Kind thoughts with care..
Grandy..
