New here, hello!

[Mr_Walker]

Hi everyone, I've posted a couple of times but I thought I'd introduce myself officially! I'm 41 and have suffered from anxiety since I was a child but most extremely since my teens. I didn't realize what it was until around 8 years ago and didn't really get in control of it until after four years of medication, CBT and some EMDR.

I had around a year with ZERO anxiety, then some very stressful life experiences brought it back a little - nowhere near as bad as it was before but it still comes and goes. Most recently I've had some extremely stressful events happen (outside of my control) and my anxiety has taken another step for the worse - and also I've started to get depressed every now and then which is (I think) a fairly new thing for me - I've learnt a lot about my anxiety and how to deal with it but I don't really know how to deal with the depression... Going back to the psychologist next month.

I don't really have anyone in real life to talk about these things so it's great to find this supportive community!

Thanks, J.

[Mr_Walker]

I guess this is a question for the moderators and champions? But I didn't know where to put it so I'll comment here - my anxiety has gone up a little bit so I'm pretty sure I'm worrying about nothing - but I'm a bit anxious today that I've been posting too much! (28 posts in 3-4 days...) That people will think "oh no, not him again!" Also whether I'm "over-sharing" - i.e. was my PTSD post "too much information"...?

I think these will seem like silly questions when my anxiety goes down again, but there it is...

In my "defense" though, I have found it really helpful to talk through things (usually I talk more with my wife but our lives are very full and exhausting with the baby at the moment - we both get tired and cranky) - and, as I've never joined any forums before there's an element of euphoria of being able to talk - so I'm maybe overdoing it...

It's also a long term symptom of my anxiety to apologize all the time which is what I'm doing here! Thanks everyone, J.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Mr Walker, thanks for your post.  It's great that you've been finding the forums helpful!

It's also quite common to feel anxious on the forums, a lot of members tell us this and it comes through in our research.  It's understandable that feelings about being judged by others in daily life won't vanish overnight when you start posting here, but we try to make this as supportive an environment as possible to help keep those nerves down.

We move all posts discussing aspects of trauma to the PTSD section if they haven't been posted there already, and sometimes we add a trigger warning to the title if we feel the title doesn't give an adequate idea of what the reader might encounter if they click inside.  We do sometimes edit posts in this area too if they go into too much explicit detail - it's a fine line in working out how much detail is needed to allow readers to understand your story, without unwittingly triggering traumatic experiences for others.  

If you do find your posts get edited at any point, we will let you know in an email. Please don't see this as a personal 'black mark' against you, or a judgment, it's just our team keeping the wider wellbeing of the community here in mind.

In terms of how much is too much when posting, the engagement here varies from person to person.  We don't set limits for how many times a person can post, but we do have forced character limits on individual posts, to keep the threads conversational. We discourage people from "flooding" the forum by starting up multiple threads at the same time on similar topics, but joining in others' conversations and providing support and wisdom is what the forums are all about.  

Hope this answers your questions, and I hope you continue to find posting here helpful in working through things. 

[Guest_128]

Hey Mr Walker,

Just saying hi,and I am very proud you have come on board.😎

Thanks also Sophie,that was a great post to read,(easy and made sense.

Later

[Mr_Walker]

Thanks Sophie_M that all makes sense! I've just been having a bit of a meltdown today. Talked to someone on the phone, feeling much better. Thanks!

[blondguy]

Hi J

That was a great post from Sophie (Community Moderator...BB Forums)

In a nutshell..I am a volunteer here on the forums. I joined here in January 2016 after being made redundant. I never really knew how many people were in such pain & anguish until I became used to the forums and what direction they were aimed at.

I had many people help me back then and we are more than happy to be here (when we are online) for you 🙂

A manager of the forums once wrote 'the forums are a judgement free zone'. You will never be judged here J

This is your thread and you are more than welcome to post to us here.....even just for a chat

Im sorry to hear about your crappy day yesterday though J.

Good idea using the voice on voice to have a good vent J.

I understand that the forums are not a 'immediate chat forum' but we do our best. If you want to talk about your bad day yesterday the forums are a safe and secure place for you to talk about it 🙂

My kind thoughts for you, your daughter and your grandson too!

Paul

[geoff]

hi J, I absolutely agree with what has been said, there is no limit on how many times you post a comment or reply to your existing comment because you're only talking about what is concerning yourself, that's the best part that this site allows you to do. Geoff.

[Guest_829]

good to read your post.im 45 and like you i never had an anxiety problem.i've been studying counselling for the past few years and maybe two years ago at a weekend seminar out of nowhere i was a nervous wreck,couldnt drink enough water,couldnt put a sentence together,couldnt keep still,and i was having this overwhelming panic and one of the ladies there told me i was having an anxiety attack.ididnt believe her because this happens to other people,and if i could have one i would've had one by now,surely.

turns out i was,brought on my incredible stress-i was about to counsel someone for the first time and be watched over by the whole class and an instructor..since then i've mentioned this to co-workers and discovered a few of them have anxiety problems triggered by various things,all differant,sometimes for a short time,sometimes for so long its like a hell for them.its been an eye opener.i've also learnt i've had PTSD all my life but didnt know it had a name.the things you learn.it helps me to get in touch and talk about this stuff with other people because i felt gutted and lost for a long time.i know now im not the only one.

[Mr_Walker]

Thanks so much Paul and Geoff and everyone - thanks for the welcome 9 names later.

And mykl yes it can seem like it comes from nowhere can't it? In my case, youthful energy and the business of life carried me through to my 30s before the symptoms became unbearable! It felt like it came from nowhere but I was just ignoring it until then...

[Mr_Walker]

Talking through the issues on the phone yesterday I realized what the problem was - since the start of the year we've been foster caring for my grandson full-time and the sudden change of lifestyle has interrupted all the habits I had got into to deal with my anxiety.

Before he came along I used to take time out to meditate, work on my hobbies etc. Also my wife and I had more time to talk and maintain OUR relationship - the last 6 months have been all about HIM!

So basically I haven't been doing anything to take care of myself in that time.

We also have money problems and our second car passed away last week! So lot's of stresses.

My wife works full-time and needs the car but I needed the other car for childcare, shopping, access visits, picking up the other kids from school etc.. Fortunately we have a borrowed car at the moment.

Anyway because of the stress my wife and I had an argument (pretty rare for us) on Wednesday night.

So Thursday I was feeling like ALL THAT was too much and I really needed someone to talk to! My family don't help AT ALL and my wife's parents passed away and other relatives are interstate - so we really VERY much on each other.

Anyway - thanks everyone for the opportunity to get that out! My wife and I not only made up last night but had a big talk that dealt with some long-term issues so we made a big step forward which was great.

We only argued because we're both so stressed and we're the only people we have to vent to!

[Mr_Walker]

Also with the baby stuff I sometimes forget/don't have time to have breakfast and I've always taken my medication with my breakfast - so if I skip breakfast I end up skipping my antidepressants too..

Plus of course being home alone with a baby 24/7 can be quite isolating too as lot's of parents know! This baby just arrived with no warning at all! No 9 months of getting used to the idea! We had literally 1 hour's notice!

I love him dearly and don't resent him at all - it's just stressful!

Thanks, J.