New here, hello!

[Mr_Walker]

Hi everyone, I've posted a couple of times but I thought I'd introduce myself officially! I'm 41 and have suffered from anxiety since I was a child but most extremely since my teens. I didn't realize what it was until around 8 years ago and didn't really get in control of it until after four years of medication, CBT and some EMDR.

I had around a year with ZERO anxiety, then some very stressful life experiences brought it back a little - nowhere near as bad as it was before but it still comes and goes. Most recently I've had some extremely stressful events happen (outside of my control) and my anxiety has taken another step for the worse - and also I've started to get depressed every now and then which is (I think) a fairly new thing for me - I've learnt a lot about my anxiety and how to deal with it but I don't really know how to deal with the depression... Going back to the psychologist next month.

I don't really have anyone in real life to talk about these things so it's great to find this supportive community!

Thanks, J.

[blondguy]

Hi Mr Walker

A big welcome to you and thanks for posting too!

You have helped some people already with some great help as well...Nice1

Thanks for the nice compliment re the Beyond Blue Community

I wish I was 41 again....oh well...I am 57 and understand where you are coming from with the anxiety followed by depression...It just keeps going sometimes.

You are a smart and proactive guy to have had the anxiety treated (despite it poking its head back up temporarily)

Ive been on meds (and working in corporate) on and off from 1983 to 1996 and was still in denial thinking I could self heal. Since 1996 I have been on a small dosage of an AD every day and still have an anti anxiety (benzo) when I need one to keep the anxiety at bay.

I was reading the posts you have made and you do have a good understanding of mental health Mr Walker

Depression has different levels of intensity as you would know. Mine was chronic in '96 thus my GP kicking me to get on them.....(Thank goodness) I used to sit outside on the stairs and everything was 'dark' and had zero motivation for anything. (After being in the Family Court for 5 years on and off...ugh!)

If you scroll down the page under 'The Facts' you will see the Anxiety & Depression Checklist which can be a help

If the depression is effecting your quality of life on a day to day basis then there may cause for concern

I am happy that you are on the forums Mr Walker. I posted about my background for your info and so you know who you are talking to 🙂

You are not alone here.....The forums are a judgement free zone. You will never be judged here. Its a very friendly and safe place for you to post

Great to have you here Mr Walker

my kind thoughts

Paul

[Mr_Walker]

Hi Paul, thank you for the welcome! I'll definitely talk to my psychologist about the depression. I feel like I've got a reasonable handle on the anxiety over the years but I've never dealt with depression before.

I went through a long Family Court drama as well! I think part of my problem is, over the years I've accepted a certain amount of anxiety and depression as being "normal" or expected, considering the circumstances. So it took me a long time to realise I needed help.

I had an violent and scary dad, distant mum, bad marriage, a violent home-invasion, custody battle, lost my job due to anxiety, self medicated with alcohol (involving losing my license and crashing the car) - I couldn't go out, answer the phone, eat, sleep, concentrate on anything, missed appointments, (repeatedly got cut off from Centerlink for missing appointments) and then finally got help!

Most recently my daughter has been struggling with HER mental health and we've become quite estranged and early this year my grandchild was placed in our care so these events have brought the anxiety back a bit and brought on the depression.

Thankfully on my WORST days it's not half as bad as it was years ago - and I can still enjoy most of aspects of life. I just struggle to stay happy some days and I'm not answering the phone at the moment! (another aspect of my anxiety I haven't mastered yet is I find it very hard to say "no" and have consequently ended up very much in debt due to charities ringing up! And of course the debt is another source of stress!)

I've really felt the need to talk to someone about all these things lately but it took me a long time to make the appointment with the psychologist! It's only a few weeks away but I've found just communicating here has been helpful to sort through things... Many thanks again, J.

[geoff]

hello Mr Walker, great reply by Paul.
If you are able to control your anxiety then the second phase can begin, the onslaught of depression just waiting in the background will then take over, however there will be days when anxiety is more of the problem than depression, while other days it's the reverse.
If you are able to control either of these doesn't mean that you should let up and believe they won't return, because there's every chance they could, so medication should continue and when you need to, you have to contact your therapist again.
Understanding any trigger points is most important, places where you might go that will bring on your anxiety/depression should not forgotten, because if you enter back into them, then it will bring on either of these straight away and take you back to square one, and nobody would ever want that to happen.
Please never forget that either of these two illness's can strike you from another angle, one that you may not have encountered before, and which you don't know how to cope with them, it could involve another part of your new life.
Great to have you back with us. Geoff.

[Mr_Walker]

Thanks Geoff, yes I'm starting to realize the depression was always there underneath the anxiety. I'll just have to learn how to deal with that now. I had a year (about 4 years ago) where I thought I was "cured" of anxiety! But of course it came back at various times since then and I've got used to the idea that it's something to manage and work at, rather than something that will just disappear one day!

[blondguy]

Hey J

We really have a lot in common...I see that your dad also was violent and scary....Ive given that one a lot of thought.

It can be a huge catalyst for future mental health problems. Our self worth/esteem and general confidence levels can be drastically impacted by a controlling dad.

My daughter is also struggling with her mental health issues in her mid twenties which hurts me to the core.

Really good of you to mention that being on the forums has been a help with sorting things through 🙂

I hope your day is good to you

My Best

Paul

[Mr_Walker]

Thanks Paul, yes I've realized all my and my siblings mental health problems began with my dad's anger issues and violence - I realize now he was dealing with his own issues back then but they were of a generation that doesn't believe in mental health!

And yes it's so hard watching your adult children struggle isn't it? - you can't drag them to the doctors or force them to talk to you - very helpless feeling.

Best wishes to you and your daughter,

J.

[blondguy]

Thanks J

I hear you. It feels like we are Tom Hanks on Castaway.....as in helpless. You are so right on that generation not believing or even acknowledging mental health. Unfortunately they were a generation that firmly believed in 'control' not nurturing.

I feel your pain more than you know J. You have been through a lot and I wish there was a way to get my daughter to see even a GP/Counselor to 'vent' to.

My daughter is in her mid 20's and is struggling. There is nothing I can do unless she lets me help her help herself. Its painful to watch our loved one struggle J.

Thankyou for your heartfelt wishes for my daughter. If I can also wish your daughter the best too J.

Thanks for being on the forums J.

I hope you have some peace soon

Paul

[Mr_Walker]

Thanks so much Paul, the only good thing about my daughter's situation at the moment is, by having her son taken from her care, she's really been forced to take her mental health REALLY seriously - in order to get him back. She seems to be doing well but it's so hard to tell and she's had VERY many steps forward and back before...

In the meantime we have a baby we weren't planning on having! But hopefully she stays on the right track this time...

Thanks again, J.

[blondguy]

Hey J

I like what you said about your daughter having to take her mental health seriously as a result of her son being taken from her....unpleasant...yes but will help her health not hinder.

All we can do is be there I suppose J.

Good on you too for being a great dad 🙂

Have a good one J

My Best

Paul