My Story

[BRENDA_P]

Hi, I'm Brenda, and 1st time trying to Be Real with my problem, cos I feel ashamed and sick, about having a Mental Problem.. everyone in my family has a Real Strong sense of self, even my own 2 boys have confidence, and they were both Raised by me, a Single mum.. sometimes I think, OK where is the troubled you, why are you so normal.. And I keep looking for something to crack in them, and I think they're both faking being OK. But my eldest is 44yrs in April, and my youngest 29yrs next month..

So I'm now like, oh, the light has gone on, and I'm projecting..

Anyway, all I can tell.you about myself, is that ever since I was 5yrs old I knew my mum wasn't going to be any help, or interested in me. And by the time I was approx 7yrs, and from then on for my life, both my parents and sister were telling me, I'm stupid, I've got rocks in my head, no-one would like me, and I'm not good enough, and by the time I was a teenager, they blamed me for All of my Family problems..

I think this will do for now. Thankyou for listening.. kind regards, Brenda

[golden82]

Hi Brenda, welcome and thanks for sharing a bit of your story. I can somewhat relate to the family of origin stuff u mention. Not sure if u have heard about narc abuse and family scapegoats; but u may like to google this for some insights. It has helped me understand a little of what i have grown up with.

You may like to put your post under a section like depression or trauma because i hope you can get some more responses and support there by the ppl that read those posts and have gone thru similar.

I hope u get some more replies to help with what u have been thru and are going thru now. Also, you could speak with your gp to get a mh plan to access a pyschologist if u were wanting 1:1 support to go thru it all. I hope this helps a bit.

[Croix]

Dear BRENDA~

I'd like to join Golden82 in welcoming you here. Maybe a bit of a milestone to start to seek out assistance to undo the harm your parents caused. Parents are such power and authority figures to their children they can do immeasurable good, but sadly here great harm.

To be picked on and reviled injures, maybe not the body, but the mind. Unfortunately human beings, particularly children, tend to end up believing all the horrible negative things they are told, and really suffer from the lack of the love they should have been given.

I guess I'll try to give you logic -though I doubt you will truly believe it right now. As a single mum you have not only raised two children , which is a hard full time job in itself, but have managed not to do the things your parents did.

I found my family did not love me in the slightest, and I used them as a role model, whatever they had done I mage great efforts not to do when I became a parent. Actually quite difficult as I did not have the example of good parenting, but all turned out fine.

I guess you must have been in much the same boat and nevertheless have raised two fine adult children. By now I strongly suspect you would know they are not just wearing masks, but are actually healthy people.

So how excellent is that!

Now that your kids are adults you have time to look after you. May I suggest a couple of things? My apologies if you have already started down there paths.

First as a person who has been the subject of child abuse or neglect contact 1800RESPECT - 1800 737 73.

They are the experts in this field and can give you advice and maybe point out resources there for you. Very realistic, experienced and can be a real comfort.

The other thing is to see your GP and explain your feelings and how this has affected your life. See what happens then. If you think it would be hard to explain face to face then take a couple of days to write everything down in point form and share the paper during a long consultation.

This is what I have done at times, it makes everything easier for me, and gives the doctor a clearer picture.

You know Brenda this is a safe place where most have had very hard times, which makes for kindness and understanding, NOT judgment.

You are welcome here whenever you like and can talk about anything you wish. I look forward to seeing you again

Croix

[smallwolf]

Hello and welcome to the beyond blue forums.

Just a couple of points. Your parents might have said you were not smart and you were able to raise the children by yourself. We can't be smart at everything and if I had to choose between empathy and smarts I would choose empathy.

I think I am dumb and my psychologist highlights my skills talent and strengths. It is hard enough to raise children with 2 parents.

I suspect that if you thought for a bit you would be able to find your skills and talents.

Listening to you...