Losing my friends.

[Kira2019]

Hi everyone

I’m back here again. And this time I feel like I’ve lost all my friends due to my mental health issues. Why is it hard for people to understand what we are going through.

they say one thing but turn around and do the complete opposite.

is their anyone wanna talk on here that knows what we are going through.

[geoff]

Hello Kira, and a warm welcome to the forums.

I think the reason might be, is that they don't want to go down that road, but all we are looking for, is for them to check on us and ask if we want to do something or just sit and talk with us, however, living with a mental illness is so difficult, simply because our mood changes and can't guarantee how we feel.

People may say something to please us, but then go and do what they want or have chosen to do, contrary to what's been said.

They can't comprehend or perhaps they don't want to because they don't agree and that's what is so difficult for us as being rejected is part of this illness.

Take care.

Geoff.

[Rebecca_B]

Hi Kira2019, echoing geoff, a very warm welcome.

Sadly, mental illness carries with it a lot of stigma, even in 2020. It can make others feel uncomfortable because sometimes people don't know what to do or say to help someone who is struggling with mental health issues. Do you think you may have one friend, or perhaps a family member you feel comfortable with, that you could have a conversation with to express what you're needing right now? Sometimes we think the people closest to us should 'just know' what we need, but often this needs to be communicated.

Many people on this forum know what you're going through, so please feel free to say as much, or as little, as often as you feel comfortable.

Look after yourself.

[White_Rose]

Hello Kira

Welcome to the forum. It's good you have returned so we can support you.

Mental health has been a taboo topic in society for a long time. It is associated with fear of the person who is unwell and in general mental unwellness is simply not understood. There are no physical indicators. You may for example cry but if asked why mostly we struggle to answer and the person listening finds it hard to understand as there is not much in our lives to cause tears.

Our mental health is not necessarily connected to our physical well being. It is very difficult for others to understand and this can make them feel uncomfortable. It's generally not a lack of willingness to help you in any way but uncertainty of what to do or say. The fear they may matters worse for example or the frustration of not understanding. So often others will want to 'fix' you, to tell you how to get well but with no knowledge their suggestions are unhelpful.

This is a good place to post as we all know how it feels and how hard it can be to get well. If you have one close friend or family member you can talk to it may help. To help that person may I suggest you browse through this site. Look under The Facts and Get Support at the top of the page. Download some fact sheets and send for some booklets. Giving information to your friends and family can be helpful. Pick who you talk to. Not everyone wants to explore this territory with you.

Carry on posting here and perhaps tell us a little about yourself. Only as much as you feel comfortable with.

Mary