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Meet your community champions!

replies: 10

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

HELP..Am I posting in the right section?

replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

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Badly hurt by husband swearing and calling me a horrible name

replies: 2

Here I lay in bed tonight unable to stop crying for hours after what was supposed to be a nice family day out. We went on a big nature walk, and when leaving hubby just started digging at me for way pulling out of tight spot. Argument heated up, kids in the back sadly to hear arguing. I was becoming more and more pd off with his mood toward me and just started crying. He was so mad telling me to pull over that he will drive. So I pulled into a side street angrily and went to pull aside. I didn’t see there was a big drain on the side which I hit and was a big impact. I stopped hubby was screaming saying he hit his head and he had a can of bourbon drinking which sprayed up in his face. He was sooo angry he threw the can of bourbon in the car and screamed you dumb *swear word* at me. Kids got out of the car distraught and crying in panick. He drove home while I sat having an anxiety attack and crying the whole way. He hasn’t said anything since home, and I’m just sooo upset and angry. Angry he called me that and that a stupid argument escalated so badly for our kids to witness. Feeling rock bottom at it’s worst right now with no one to talk to.

Can’t cope

replies: 5

Have suffered from depression for years and for past month overwhelming not showered and in pyjamas all day, the house and garden and a mess and I have no energy All I do is watch tv and feeling such a failure. My mother is constantly telling me to do housework etc and echoes all the self critical thoughts I have. Don’t have the energy to talk to anyone. How can I start to get motivated? I do have a doctors appointment next week and have been off medication for 2 years and had been doing well. Feel like I’m caught in a mouse wheel of tv and sleep

Hello I am new here

replies: 6

I wish to tell you about myself I am 58 years old and sadly single after 16 years of marriage as my ex decided that she wanted a life without me. I have also had three family members passing away in the last four years all with cancer and the most recent one year ago my younger brother.This was extremely hard as I spent every day for the last four weeks of his life by his bed and sadly was holding him as he took his last breath and passed. I had to organise his funeral and take care of everything. I feel guilty because I said to him about an hour prior to let go. I am hurting struggling and always crying because I don’t know what to do it is truly hard when you are by yourself. Thank you for reading every one

Children and Coronavirus test

replies: 2

My 6 year old son had a tough time last year in and out of hospitals having MRIs, a couple of generals, numerous blood tests and 8 nights in hospital getting painful medication through a drip every 4 hours. He's a slightly anxious child anyway and these experiences last year left him quite scared and highly anxious about anything to do with doctors. We were hoping for a better year this year and then coronavirus hit. Lockdown was fine and my worries started when school went back to full time in the classroom this week. I knew that if anyone was unlucky enough to catch anything it would be him. Sure enough i picked him up on Thursday and he's complaining of a sore throat and tummy ache. I have yet to take him in for a covid test but our whole family is isolating indoors just in case. I know if I send him for a test it will be a very upsetting experience for him and will only traumatise him further and the likelihood of him getting a positive carona test is minuscule. Yes I could take him for a test and I probably should but i'm also here thinking if I test him every time he has any potential carona symptom he is going to be tested once every two weeks on average I think if i keep him in school. I just don't think this is going to be any good whatsoever for his mental health or mine. I just don't know what to do. I am keeping his younger sister out of preschool to reduce the odds of illness in our household and my husband and I can work from home so it will most likely be my son needing to be tested everytime. My friends with kids were all extremely happy to send their kids back to school and don't fear their kids catching or spreading caronavirus much at all so I don't feel like I have anyone to talk to about this. How is everybody coping? Can anyone relate? Thank you.

Feeling my sons pain

replies: 1

I am new here but just need to reach out to anyone in a similar situation or gain some helpful coping advice. My adult son suffers from anxiety and depression and i have ridden the highs and lows for years, the lows being keeping him safe from suicide constantly and watching him almost waste away in sadness and the highs seeing an amazing young man with his life together so proud to call my son. For the last 18 months he had been well mostly due to finding the correct meds, no drugs and minimal alcohol and trying to live healthily, however in the last 3 months or so hes slipping, now smoking pot regularly which he flat out denies is an issue, no other drugs, and has just gone on a drinking bender on his own resulting in damage to his property and police attendance resulting in a charge for drug possession. Myself and his father and sister just cleaned up the house with broken windows, smashed doors but more importantly a son who has gone back to square one. Im so upset i feel ill myself, i dont know what to do or say from here, i think he just thinks its the alcohol but its so much more. How do i convince him to get help and peel back the layers. Im so scared of future possibly worse outcomes and most of all harm to him after so many years. Im exhausted and i can barely sleep. Im also scared of saying the wrong thing. We are very close, too close. Sometimes i wish i was the one with the issues, not him as then i would have some control.

Struggling to move on after divorce

replies: 3

My husband left me last February for a woman he met on Tinder. He met her and moved in with her 4 days later. This had come out of the blue for me. I had no idea he was so unhappy and I was working very hard to make his life happy; always trying to be perfect. I worked full time, then came home to the second shift of family and house. He was the fun dad and I was the drudge. He was very controlling about who I spent time with and so I gradually let my friends fall away. I welcomed his friends into our house even having two of his young relatives living with us. After the separation he became outwardly abusive. He was threatening and nasty, spreading lies about me and undermining me at every opportunity. He also became superdad, attending our child's sporting matches for the first time. I was struggling a as I tried to find a house and re build my life while he was travelling every weekend with his wealthy girlfriend. I bore the brunt of the children's anger. The day after I moved out of the marital home, she moved in and started renovating. A few months later I reconnected with an old friend. It's been 9 months and we are very strong. Sadly his ex - wife waged a smear campaign against me with their mutual friends and children as after 3 years she decided she wanted him back. When we had been together 6 months, his former wife took her own life. His children will not have me in the house and will not accept that their father is in a relationship with me. I am allowed to see him two nights a week. I struggle that we met when we were both single and yet our relationship is not wanted and my ex husband forced a woman into my children's life and they happily have accepted her presence. Sadly on Tuesday I told my daughter a few truths about her father. Now she won't have anything to do with me. My children all think their father is wonderful despite the way he has treated me. His partner has deliberately cultivated friendships with school mothers and puts me down to them. I was not even able to attend my sons 21st nor my daughters 18th because of his new partner. He continues to control and abuse me now through legal channels. I don't know whether I should walk away and let time show the children I am not who they say I am or stick up for myself? This is very distressing.

New diagnosis!

replies: 5

Good morning. Yesterday I was diagnosed with Bi-Polar Disorder. I have been treated for Chronic Depression and PTSD for many years by my psychiatrist who left for another state at the beginning of the COVID-19 Pandemic. I now have a new psychiatrist. I am not new, however, have not posted for many years. This new diagnosis has left me rattled but has explained many feelings I have had over the years and I have accepted it. I have told my partner about it and luckily for me, he has been very supportive. I now feel awful for many of the things people have put up with (my behaviour). I also feel very saddened that I have been unable to explain some of my extreme behaviour and my deep sadness or mood. Can anyone let me know of a support group I can access for people with Bi-Polar Disorder? I live in Queensland. Many Thanks, Leisalou.

How Psychotherapy saved my life - after being on medications for 10 years

replies: 10

I’ve never used beyond blue before until now. For the past 10 years I was seeing a psychiatrist who I believe was doing the best it thought he new. By the end I was on a cocktail of medication- 6 different antipsychotics and antidepressants and off-label used medication. After several suicide attempts And more in patient hospital visits that I can count, I new I needed to change course. I changed psychiatrists - I started seeing a woman who works using ACT therapy and in the past year I have been slowly tappering off all of my medication whilst seeing an incredible psychologist to help we develop vital DBT skills - to make a life worth living. After 10 years of feeling like a zombie and not being able to have any stable relationships. I feel like I am almost back.. or my eyes have been opened. I was diagnosed with everything over that 10 year period and to think now that I never needed any medication that whole time - just life skills still blows my mind. I am almost completely off my last antidepressant- we all know the joys of those withdrawals but what’s getting me through is the skills I have learnt and learning about how serotonin literally effects everything in your body. My life has never been better I’m so lucky - now approaching 30 that I have discovered a new way of treatment. I encourage every single person in the world to see a psychologist once in their life for any reason - you have to put a lot of work in every day but in the long run it pays off. I’d rather take the good and the bad emotions any day then be stuck like a zombie for the rest of my life. I don’t know if anyone will read this but I just felt like I wanted to tell someone that there are SOOO many options out there. Do your research. Your doctors are just people at the end of the day and they do not know everything.

Returning to work. Diagnosis. Myself and family 1st

replies: 2

I have researched about the benefits of returning to work for mental health and understand the theory behind the benefits of doing so but I don't think it would be best for me. I have had six months off work after leaving a toxic work environment and I am reassessing the importance of everything as I am now probably the happiest and balanced I have felt for a very long time. I am supported financially as was made "incapable of working" but my concern now that I am doing well mentally, my doctors may say that it is time to go back to work (which was the cause of my diagnosis). How is this capability (of being able to work) measured and how can I ensure that I am putting myself first and am looking after my family? (I have not been reassessed after a trial of rtw that I had to cease, I was "capable at work" but my home life was falling apart and I was going backwards feeling so out of control). I finally feel back on track and would like to keep it this way. Do insurance providers and medical professionals support this or care? Are people happy not working? I am finally able to accept not working is best for me at the moment and I can see myself being content with this but how can I keep it this way? I don't really want to quit everything I have worked for in my career but I am not managing doing both career and family. How did I ever do it I wonder? (I used to get asked that alot) I have no idea, some days now I can't even get out of bed and this post has taken me an hour to write! I like the routine my children offer me (aka getting them to school, helping at school (before covid19) and am now getting out to excercise each day and am looking after myself. I see these as my priorities. If I could I would do this until they finish school (ie for the next 12 years) but I would be kissing my career goodbye if I gave up now. I would sacrifice that for quality time raising my children as I have proven I can't do both.

Getting fired due to underperformance at work / Anxiety

replies: 8

Hello, My Dad (an electrician - worked for 40 years) has been suffering from Anxiety and has recently received a warning from his employer due to under-performance and making mistakes. Since then his confidence seems to have been shattered and is now making more and more mistakes at work, he says he is unable to make decisions and his boss says that customers feel as though he doesn't know what he is doing anymore. His employer knows that Dad has anxiety and is being medicated for it but doesn't understand why Dad isn't able to do his job - and saying things like "You've done this for years, why can't you do this now" and "I don't see what the problem is, stop making customers nervous". He has been asked to reply to his 2nd warning letter, I think he is going to loose his job. Whenever he goes to a dr - they just change his medication levels but he hasn't received any advice or medical certs to have a break from re his work. I don't know how to support him. I'm starting to loose sleep over this worrying about him

Meet your community champions! replies: 10

HELP..Am I posting in the right section? replies: 10

Badly hurt by husband swearing and calling me a horrible name replies: 2

Can’t cope replies: 5

Hello I am new here replies: 6

Children and Coronavirus test replies: 2

Feeling my sons pain replies: 1

Struggling to move on after divorce replies: 3

New diagnosis! replies: 5

How Psychotherapy saved my life - after being on medications for 10 years replies: 10

Returning to work. Diagnosis. Myself and family 1st replies: 2

Getting fired due to underperformance at work / Anxiety replies: 8