Just found out my long term Parnter has been in a sexualy relationship with ICE user

[Logan_C]

Hello my name is Logan, i am 53 years of age male, I am not sure how to put all this as i am just shattered beyond believe but will do my best.
I have been in a long term relationship with now for 5 years (girlfriend/Lover) who is 52
I have just recently found out that she has been in a sexual relationship with other man who which i have found out that is an ICE user and is actively seeing other men is a sexual relationship who are also injecting ICE, i broke down for the best part of today and when i had the courage i was on the internet searching all about this type of substance and behaviours, I’m for the best word i can describe is just shattered the partner who i thought i know was not.
I confronted my Girlfriend who did not deny any of the this , i cant hep feel so sick in my stomach like my heart has been ripped out, i felt the need to reach out to this community for so guidance or some help to try and deal with what I have be dealt with. My most concern is for the health of myself and my partner and the sexually transmitted diseases that come with ice users.

Logan

[uncut_gems]

Logan,

Welcome to the forums. I'm so sorry to hear about this devastating and concerning news you just got– it almost sounds like too much to process at once. You've definitely come to the right place for some help and support.

The combination of being unfaithful and the drug use no doubt makes all this doubly shocking– did you suspect that your girlfriend herself was involved with drugs, if you don't mind my asking?

I think it's very responsible of you to be concerned about your sexual health in the middle of all this. If you have any concerns whatsoever, I would encourage you to seek an STI screening at a clinic if you have one available to you.

You have every right to be angry and upset with your partner, and try if you can to be patient and give yourself time to process all this. We are always here on the forums to chat. Do you have anyone else close to you who you might want to share this with, just to lighten the load?

Warmly,

Gems

[Nurse_Jenn]

Hi Logan,

Wow - that is heavy news. I am sorry to hear you are going through this. What a painful experience for you. Losing trust in a person that you love is so difficult and the news that your own health has been placed at risk would be so tough to hear. You are not alone. We are listening.

When we experience a loss, we go through a few different phases (in no particular order) including shock, anger, denial, sadness and acceptance. I would expect you have experienced a few of these by now. Be gentle to yourself during this time as it can be a rollercoaster of different feelings. I wonder if you have a supportive friend or family member that you might be able to talk with regularly? The forum is also a great place for support and I encourage you to write as much as you need to.

As far as you and your partners health concerns go, it is quite simple to get a series of tests from a GP or as Gems has pointed out, you can attend an STI Screening Clinic. The tests are fairly straight forward, it is the waiting for results that is the difficult part. The sooner you get a screening test done, the faster you can let that worry go.

If you need to talk out loud to someone, you can always call the Beyond Blue Support Service on 1300 22 4636 anytime of the day or night. Sometimes letting your feelings out in a tough moment can help immensely and can result in clearing your head a bit, especially if you are struggling to sleep.

Sending you strength on this difficult journey,

Nurse Jenn