Just saying hello on here.

[Joe_s]

Hey. I'm in my forties, male. Just ended up here. Saw there is a lot of other people coming on here talking about their situations. Don't like talking about myself. Like to talk about other stuff. I will say I have had a lot of problems in my life. And seem to have gotten to a point where things are looking positive. Really don't know how I'm alive and functioning. I believe it is God had some purpose for me, he wanted me to experience the bad in life and live to help someone else get through it. I think I am in a permanent state of denial of how bad my situation is. I broke up with my girlfriend about five years ago. I have had break ups before but this time haven't been able to recover for too many years. I tried my very best but it wasn't meant to be. I know I was getting played from day one. Just don't understand how stupid I was. Yeah just thought I'd try to talk to somebody on here. Not very good at talking to people on the internet.               Yeah I've looked all over for some kind of help. Can't seem to find any. But that's ok. I think I'm gonna make it. There is too much I need to do in my life, and it feels as though I haven't started living a normal life yet. I've lived my whole life in fear. Finally I am able to stand up for myself and try to do the right thing. Sorry don't know how much sense I am making. But still think it is worth a try to talk on here.               Yeah a lot of problems going on I was going to these meetings for support but decided to stop a fair while ago. And quit taking medication. Now I just study and do some exercise as much as I can. Yeah one thing I know is how bad this world can be. But I have overcome the bad and am ready for the good. Yeah feel free to say hello to me on here but sorry in advance for my poor internet conversation skills, I guess talking online is something I am afraid of.

[rhombusslope]

Hi JoeSmith

nice to meet you - I got such a warm interested feeling when reading your post, had to come and say hey.

talking about yourself is hard - I struggle with it too. But it seems no one in the world has this issue (lol) so trying to teach myself it’s okay to take the microphone sometimes.

Good luck with the house build - that’s exciting! Sounds like a lot of hard work went into it. I’m doing some reno’s with my partner - it’s been a bit stressful.

What type of stuff are you studying? I’ve gone back to study psychology and about to turn 30. It’s easier to concentrate now vs when I was 18!

glad to hear you are optimistic when looking toward the future - you will definitely get to where you want to go 🙂

[ecomama]

Thankyou so much for the Blessings JoeSmith, they are most welcome. 

I admire the work you are endeavouring to do in the ways of organic farming. Love that! 
I studied Permaculture years ago, got a Scholarship for it. Before that I studied Biodynamics, so if you REALLY want to go on an AWESOME adventure with being green, these are it! 
Both are amazing. 

Pursuing our passions is a great investment of our time IMO. It can spark joy in us that's not necessarily dependent on other people. 

Sounds like you're re-forming your life? 
My children and I are on the road to creating better lives also. This was after a series of "scorched earth" events by a very demonic creature.

Have you heard of M.Scott Peck? I was comforted by his audiobook available for free online called "People of the Lie" and C.S. Lewis's "The Screwtape Letters".
Both authors were believers and these books cover the way evil people can be. I found these both comforting and enlightening. Probably because such highly acclaimed people saw what I saw. I didn't feel alone anymore. 

I also have trouble feeling worthy, a FOO issue lol. I just work my hardest and try to provide well for my children, whilst modelling HOW to be a responsible adult with kindness. 

Faith has helped me rise above so much, whilst therapy has helped me process my ole human brain and it's wiring due to trauma. I'm fortunate to have both. 

Good luck with the online company AND getting a great job! 

Talk soon
EM