Welcome and Orientation

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Meet your community champions!

replies: 10

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

HELP..Am I posting in the right section?

replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

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GEtting Baptised as AN ADULT TUESDAY - Fear of being alone - 38 Female

replies: 6

as a survivor of narcissitc abuse I have made it but i still have to continue to search for a way out of some of the symptoms such as identity loss Im 38 female and now i have to go downt he road of just when i have met the man i really have always loved in the past again he doesnt appear to have teh same christian values and i dont think his gonna be happy when i say i want a relationship with no sexual intimacy he is 32 im 38 i did not take any medications to heal or partially heal i wonder if the identity loss is something i have to live with all the therapy in the world made no difference and im ready to put complaints

Need advise and to just talk...

replies: 5

Hi, I feel like my life is one big mess. I have 2 kids and a partner. But I don't feel happy. My life revolves around being a mum, working, taking the kids to appointments (the oldest has autism and the youngest is in programs to see if he has it too) and trying to keep myself together long enough not to have another depressive/anxiety breakdown. About 4 months ago I stopped taking my anti depressives and anxiety tablets. My relationship is not the best, we don't communicate, all we do is argue when we do talk to each other, we have no intimacy (it's been almost a whole year). I love my partner but he drinks to much and I don't like it. He's promised for years he'd slow down but hasn't. Every time I've tried to leave him he's threatened to kill himself and I'd find him dead the next day so don't bring the kids back with me to get my stuff or has called/messaged me that he has taken a lot of pills. He also says that I just want to take him for his money ( even though he has none) and I'd keep his son from him (my oldest son isn't his). All of this is having a negative impact on me mentally. Everyone I know tells me to stick it out for the kids but with all the arguing I think its worse for them. After having our son in 2017 I got postnatal depression and never sort help and it got worse. Over the years I've learnt to handle it but it does get the better of me sometimes. I don't know what I'm looking for by posting here, but I just need something/anything.

5 years in and resentment is growing and eating at me.

replies: 1

Long story short I have been with my partner 5 years. We have a large family and have had one of our own with another on the way. I am happy but We took on a large debt that was from my partners ex wife/marriage. She walked away with a car, no debt while we are struggling paying this debt each week, plus child support for my partners son on top of his dance fees, school stuff, hair cuts and very expensive wants. Only child. The ex is limiting when we can have him due to the money and it altering the child support. The ex has been a huge ongoing issue. There is no other word to explain other than a gold digger. I have managed to let all this go over the years but we had to move house and our rent increased $100 a week, the loss of my income has now put us at a point where I am looking into debt help to survive. She is just sitting pretty with another man just forking out money for her again, another doing FIFO. I get resentful at my stepson because he gets everything he wants, is so spoilt like his mother. He has no respect for me or our house. He has stolen things from my kids to look cool and only got caught because he posted a video on tik tok. He lied straight to our faces when asked beforehand. I am angry because after 5 years he still gets in the car and ignores me unless my partner tells him to say hello. I have never told him or shown him how I feel. I have always tried to be the mature adult and cope with the step mum thing and be understanding. I am angry and resentful at my partner for allowing her to continue using him and although we have tried to stop paying all the extra fees she ignores the messages and manipulates him by saying he is a crap father. His response to me is then “I was doing this before you came along”. It just goes around and around in circles and never gets dealt with. We are arguing because of it and we don’t argue. She manipulates my step son. If he asks to come over she will use “oh just pack your bags and live there then “so he doesn’t come. I cannot see a light at the end of this tunnel for the next 5 years till this debt is gone. I am getting depressed. We had both done our divorces so we could get married and then we discovered last week she hasn’t filed it even though we gave her the money to do it. I am managing a house, 2 teens and an 8 month old , I am 4 months pregnant and we have my two sons part time and my step son every second weekend and I am starting to crack.

Anorexia, PTSD, Anxiety

replies: 2

My step daughter is suffering from anxiety, PTSD and anorexia and I would really appreciate any information anyone could give me in starting to help her get treatment. Right at this moment she has severe anxiety and having heart problems due to being malnutritioned and dehydrate. I have only just become aware of this after two hospital visits in the last week. I know nothing about this and would appreciate any advice for immediate action and also long term that might help. Thank you in advance.

One foot forward

replies: 2

Hi I guess I know why I am here but not really sure how to express it in words. I guess this is the first step in my journey. Reading some of your stories so far has made me feel welcome and not alone. Thank you

Lost and Lonely

replies: 1

Hello everyone. First time poster (26F), just trying to figure things out, not sure where to start and really just want to vent to someone and gets someone else's perspective. So apologies if this is long!! I'm the reserved type that never really expresses when I have any issues or need help, and because of that I don't really feel comfortable actually having these conversations. Firstly I've been feeling really disconnected from my friendship group. We've been a small tight knit group for about 15 years now since high school, but this past year I've really started to notice that I'm the one making all the effort in staying in touch and checking in, and that I'm being treated as just the tag along. So as a bit of an experiment on my part I stopped trying to keep in touch and being the one to reach out first and the group chats went silent for 3.5 months. During that time I'd constantly be seeing photos on socials of them tagging each other, hanging out (when lockdowns/restrictions allowed) and making comments like 'don't know what I'd do without you'. Whenever I've brought it up to someone they've always just changed the subject. Which just leaves me feeling worse and lonely. I've tried addressing it so now I just don't know anymore, and I know some would say make new friends but i'm really introverted and making friends as an adult is hard hahaha. Then secondly I'm feeling really lost in my working situation. I started a new job at the start of the year, which I know in this current COVID world is very lucky. It's a job that I could use as a stepping stone into my wider uni field, but its also a job that I have always said I never wanted to do. I would stay there for the next 2 years while I finish uni but I honestly don't know if I could take it. I live at home still and would be considered the breadwinner by quite a bit. So there is some pressures to stay in the job to make it easier on the rest of the family financially overall. There have been a few red flags, being so anxious about having to go to work in general, then being so mentally drained when I get home, it being a very alcohol based social environment outside of the office (I'm sober so I'm often just forgotten about), but then main red flag is that the boss said in a meeting 'mental health days don't exist', we get 20 sick days if we need a random mental health day it shouldn't matter. I have made so many pros/cons lists its silly. I just need an outsider's view to figure things out.

Waking up depressed

replies: 4

Hi all I am new to his forum. I have been depressed before and have been great until recently but now I am starting to wake up with depression. I usually improve during the day and after a run, but I was wondering if any of you any tips for battling ... View more

Guilt

replies: 4

My story of continuing to cheat on my partners and husband! My husband still wanted me to stay in our marriage even after I had left when he was a work.. I’d had cancer and got the all clear and simply took off, after the support he’d given me, I just tossed it all away I hurt him so badly 3 times in 11yrs. I’m unsure how I can cope with myself and the overwhelming disappointment I have in myself.. I’ve lost a person who stood by me who supported me.. and I can’t even give him a good reason.. I haven’t achieved anything in fact in my 50s I’m having to work full time to get by. I guess I’m posting here to see if others are like me in any way.. my sadness isn’t easing,I constantly feel ashamed of my behaviour. Im now living with someone I knew years ago! I haven’t strayed, just remain numb in the relationship mainly..

Feel hollow, lonely and lost

replies: 4

Hello, This is my 1st time here and I don’t know what to expect. Before heading to my GP I really wanted to see if there was something I could avail to help me cope. During the last 4 weeks lead up to freedom, I’ve been feeling very low, lost and hollow. I don’t think I have felt this way in a long time -(the last time was when I was 15yrs and I lost my younger brother in an accident). I can’t remember what coping mechanisms I availed to as I remember writing my feelings out. I tried doing that this time around, but couldn’t find it very helpful. I’ve got few issues at home that upsets me for which I’ve tried looking at the positives but trying to enjoy outdoors that hasn’t helped lately. I am not sure what my first step or course of action is really as I am aware of EAP program that my work provides and then there is a toll free number that I can call through beyond blue or reach out to my GP. I really want to feel normal and happy again than just cry all day. Really looking for a ray of light.

Newly Diagnosed

replies: 4

Just been diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder

Meet your community champions! replies: 10

HELP..Am I posting in the right section? replies: 10

GEtting Baptised as AN ADULT TUESDAY - Fear of being alone - 38 Female replies: 6

Need advise and to just talk... replies: 5

5 years in and resentment is growing and eating at me. replies: 1

Anorexia, PTSD, Anxiety replies: 2

One foot forward replies: 2

Lost and Lonely replies: 1

Waking up depressed replies: 4

Guilt replies: 4

Feel hollow, lonely and lost replies: 4

Newly Diagnosed replies: 4