I'm new here

Dwings · ‎07-02-2021

Hi
I'm new here and was recommended to join the forums. I dont know where to start. I'm in my mid 30s, still single, and recently Ive felt so depressed that I can't do anything. Friday just felt like the worst day ever and I haven't been any better since. Its like a whole bomb was dropped on me. My account was overdrawn, I keep getting rejected, people take advantage of me. I feel like there is no way out of this. I felt this way last year and though I could deal with it but it just keeps coming back. I tried making plans and changing but it just keeps failing. Ive had the worst bad luck

Dwings · ‎09-07-2021

Ive worked in the same organisation for 17 years. I started there very young fresh out of high school, only a temp at the beginning but worked my way up to become permanent. I mean I like the people there but if I'm being honest I found it to be too stressful. I feel like everyday there's the same thing, no challenges, the same issues, dealing with the same enquiries, nothing exciting. Ive been working from home in the past fortnight, so given the past week I'm glad I'm at home not having to put with people face to face. When Ive tried to give ideas to help the place I feel like the ideas are ignored or changed.

So yeah same job, still single for a long time. Trying to change but it aint working. Sometimes I think it would feel less stressful if I was dating someone, being cheered up and loved, but I dont think that would ever happen.

What books do you normally read? I occasionally read before I got to bed or if I'm not sleeping well.

smallwolf · ‎09-07-2021

What sort of books do I read... Fiction is Fantasy. Non-Fiction stuff mainly. I am current reading a book called "Night games". Let you google that title. 🙂 Another title I am part way through is "The confidence gap" by Russ Harris who does ACT therapy.

Would you mind if I gave you my thoughts on your job? At least based on my experience. What I can say is that I think it sucks when you have been there for that long and any ideas you put forward seem to get rejected. All you want to do is help the place with efficiencies based on your experiences?

Chat soon.

Nelson_L · ‎10-07-2021

Hi all,

I have a new role coming up this week of project management. I have never done it before so a bit anxious. Wondering if there are any tips to handle the emotions?

Dwings · ‎10-07-2021

The last week has been quite stressful at work, or working from home, I understand a lot of things we cannot do from home, but I feel people should be doing better. Although I do admit I'm not concentrating too much given whats happening and I have made some minor mistakes, but I have owned up to it and worked out a solution to solve it. I think the workload taking its toll. I do have more responsibilities than others, 3rd in charge of my area and people come to me for help. I just feel like a nice break for a period however I cannot go anywhere due to COVID restrictions and I dont like spending time at home. Pre covid I will visit my friends interstate. The other thing I feel is that when I take time off, the work either wont be done at all or not properly. This sort of thing occured in 2018 when I went overseas for over a month and people thought my work was too stressful to handle. This really annoys me that we have dont people in my area that are willing to step up and take on something different. When I got back to work it probably took me 1 to 2 weeks to get back into a routine.

I guess the minor upside is I'm away from the office environment for maybe another week. It might sound mean but I dont really miss being there. There are a few people that I miss seeing but they are in different sections and they sometimes cheer me up by not talking about walk. I dont know, do you think its time for a change?

If it wasnt for COVID, I could pack my bags and go to the country for a while to get away from Sydney and get some peace and quiet.

smallwolf · ‎13-07-2021

It sounds like you have a feeling of knowing what is happening and perhaps controlling so it is done correctly?

Some that I have been working on with my psychologist for quite a while.

Dwings · ‎13-07-2021

That's right. Its very frustrating. We've dealt with so many errors. I feel there are solutions to solve these errors but other people have other ideas of instead of fixing the errors, working around it. Its like a pot in the road, you continually drive around it and it doesn't get fixed. I'm getting really annoyed with people in the industry. I feel like I have to do more work for mistakes I did not make. I used to be ok with it but now I'm losing interest in my job. Maybe I'm just not in a good place being in lockdown and not hearing back from certain people.

Just on that, I did send a follow message to that girl the other day but still no response. I dont think she'll ever respond she has obviously has no interest in me. I should've seen it coming, this sort of happens to me a lot. If they do take interest in me, its only if they think I'm loaded with cash and come up with some story how they are struggling with bills and they need some money.

Learn to Fly · ‎13-07-2021

Hi Dwings

Thank you for sharing and reaching out.

I hope you don’t mind me asking: what makes you say “I have realised I am the problem”? That’s a pretty harsh critique of a person. Imagine if this was your best friend or a family member, would also say this to her/him? And you are your own good friend and family member . In some ways we these two to ourselves. So maybe you are being a bit too harsh on yourself, maybe expecting a bit too much, especially now when you are going through a bit of a hard time?

Let me know your thoughts.

Take care.

Dwings · ‎15-07-2021

I guess Ive had a lot of bad luck over the years and when I try and get something that I want in my life but still cant get it, I often question myself as to what I do wrong. When I tell people this, I get the same responses, it'll be ok, you're a nice guy you'll get there. Ive heard that plenty of times yet the same thing just keeps happening over and over again, no matter how different I approach things.

It gets me down so much when I hear friends and family do so well in their lives, yet I cant seem to go anywhere, no matter how much I try.

I wouldve had confidence years ago to lift myself up but as the years go by I'm losing the confidence and motivation. I feel I will be lonely for a long long time.

smallwolf · ‎16-07-2021

Message #1. Do you work in IT? In your last post you mentioned the pot in the road, work around, not fixing, etc. While I might not use the pot in the road analogy, I have had the same frustrations in my world.

Message #2 coming shortly re online dating...

Dwings · ‎16-07-2021

Its not really in the IT area although I do a lot of computer work, inputting data in the network system, scanning, excel spreadsheets. It can be frustrating when we're not on the same page. I suppose its hard with lockdown when the only communication is email or phone. We were working from home last year but every 2nd day. Now we've worked at home since every day this month or could be another 2-3 weeks, who knows. A lot of us werent too prepared for this a fortnight ago.

Since my last post, I did receive a response from her and she apologised for not replying. Like a lot of people she has struggled in lockdown which I can understand. You were right, I shouldnt have doubted myself. Its made me feel better and thought about her a lot.