I'm new here

[Dwings]

Hi
I'm new here and was recommended to join the forums. I dont know where to start. I'm in my mid 30s, still single, and recently Ive felt so depressed that I can't do anything. Friday just felt like the worst day ever and I haven't been any better since. Its like a whole bomb was dropped on me. My account was overdrawn, I keep getting rejected, people take advantage of me. I feel like there is no way out of this. I felt this way last year and though I could deal with it but it just keeps coming back. I tried making plans and changing but it just keeps failing. Ive had the worst bad luck

[geoff]

Hello wing, welcome to the site and thanks for posting your comment, which seems to be an awful situation for yourself.

In the 6 lines of your post, there is much to dissect, all of which are very concerning and only hoping you can tell us about what happened on Friday, besides what you have already mentioned.

It's sad and very worrying that how you feel keeps returning back to you, and because you could cope with it last year, doesn't mean the same can happen this time, due to the many different circumstances that may have changed and the situation you're in.

The people that take advantage of you should be avoided, if that's possible, but would love to hear back from you when you're available.

Take care.

Geoff.

[Dwings]

Thank you for understanding Geoff and sorry for the late response.

Between my last point and today, its been an up and down period. Things were peaceful for a period and I managed to deal with it, however in the past week I have gone back to where I was. I haven't been sleeping well. I cant get motivated to do things. I had hoped for something when I thought there was a connection with someone online but I feel I'm losing the connection and will get rejected again. Its eating me up. Thats the one thing I really want in life but I feel like its always taken away. This is what happened earlier in the year and now I'm realising I'm the problem and find ways to screw it up. I feel like a loser.

[geoff]

Hello Dwings, please don't ever worry about a late response and so pleased that you have returned.

When problems can't be sorted out or they are only done to half an extent, then the possibility of them returning could be likely and may not favour you, so 'the can worms' once again reappears, and this time may be much more involved and complicated.

Can I ask, and please only answer if you want to, this connection online you were hoping to connect with, was it an online service with someone, who at first, promised you the world but this hasn't happened.

Geoff.

[Nelson_L]

Hi All, Nelson here. Just joined this forum after much delay.
need to work on my anxiety which I have been pushing under the carpet. Need help about tips from you all.

thanks

[geoff]

Hello Nelson, thanks for joining and a warm welcome.

Appreciate that it's never easy to post a comment on the site, but after reading what's been said and interests you, the temptation to come on board and be involved is too great, so well done and hope we can help you and likewise, you might be able to assist other people.

The trouble with this illness is that we try as long as possible to ignore it or say it will be better tomorrow, but when none of this happens then we try to hide how we feel or as you say 'push it under the carpet', but there is only so much you can try and hide because it will begin to talk to you and it actually does, that's when you need help.

The problem is that it comes in so many different forms, family, friendships, work, uni, school and most definitely relationship, all of which can harm you, mentally, in so many ways, so if you can tell us a little more and please don't be afraid, we have all had to struggle with our own type of depression and will be able to relate to what you want to say.

Take care.

Geoff.

[Dwings]

Thank You Geoff

Yes it was an online dating application. I felt like this was my last chance. In all honestly I hardly get matched or be sent messages, however this recent contact was nice at the start and gave me so hope. However she hasnt responded to my message and this is a common trend for me but for some reason I feel upset and broken.

[smallwolf]

hi Dwings,

do you mind if I ask how long you have been feeling upset and broken? Are there people in your life you feel you can trust and are able to speak to about these thoughts and feelings?

With all the craziness at the moment I think it would hard meeting anyone. And I don't know how long people take to respond to messages. But I know that some people I send a message to will not reply for 4-5 days. I am sure it would suck to get no reply vs anything else.

Which leads me to a thought... what sort of things do you like? And are there any groups in your area for those things? Or is this too hard/difficult?

If you want to chat some more...

[geoff]

Hello Dwings, online dating can give people hope if they have developed anxiety of some type because it's a promise from someone you don't know anything about, only from what they've told you and believe this is the person that suits you for the rest of your life, but you'll only know when you go out with them who this person really is, and then decide whether the two of you are ideal.

Don't be disheartened if she hasn't responded yet, she may have other commitments that she needs to do but feels embarrassed about doing them and letting you know.

If she has given you hope then you may feel more confident about talking to someone else, and please let us know how you get on, have courage.

Geoff.

[Dwings]

Hi smallwolf

I have been feeling broken and depressed for long time. People dont really see it, as I keep a lot of it to myself and try to hide it away, embarrassing to talk about, although I have mentioned this before to others and they tell me everything will be ok. Well nothing has changed. Not getting a response from someone for a period of time is something I'm used to and it really sucks. The longer I wait makes me think they are not interested in me. I dont believe this other person would have many commitments given the COVID period we're in. I dont know maybe because of previous experiences I'm being a bit impatient.

To answer your other questions, I enjoy watching sport and TV/movies and going for walks, but to be honest Id like to share it with a partner. I haven't heard of any such groups nearby.