I have made a mess.

[OgresHaveLayers]

Only joined this forum today as I was searching around for business support. I have made a mess of my business and personal finances and life and don't know how to move myself forward.

Can you believe I just wrote my piece and ran out of room just as the current struggle began.

In short, I was bullied as a kid for being gay (it was the 90's and we were very rural). I got diagnosed with PTSD, binge eating and Seronegative Arthritis around 30. Accessed some help around that time. Then had a few good years.

Currently, I was in the middle of the fires and as a casual nurse was unable to work. My Aunt who has long been a huge support of mine died and I didn't get the chance to grieve her as the pandemic wore on and nurses were really unable to take a step back. I started a side hustle which was one positive thing. The second COVID vaccine exacerbated my arthritis to the point where I was unable to work for 8 weeks then could only go back on reduced hours and not on the floor. My partner was bullied out of a job and now has mental health problems of his own. I was unable to get the medicare exemption for the third vaccine but was medically advised not to have it because of the reaction to the second, so I had to give up my nursing career. I then fell into a pit of despair and had no insight, made some bad decisions around my business and have just been making more of a mess of my life and my business since. I have seen my GP, we started me on antidepressants which are great, but everyday I find something else I messed up and have to add another thing to my list of I need to fix.

I have supportive people around and I talk to them but there is just so much I messed up I don't know where to start getting it back on track. I see a psychologist and have an appointment with a financial advisor for my personal finances to run over it all, but what I need is some sort of business coaching to help me get back on my feet and bring my business back, but there seems to be nothing. I am reaching out to any other business owners who have found themselves in this trap and how you dug yourself out keeping your mental health intact. Mine is still on a knifes edge and it could go either way.

[Sophie_M]

Dear OgresHaveLayers
 
Firstly, welcome to the forums we are so glad that you found your way to this supportive and welcoming community. We hope that you find ideas, options and support from the shared experiences and knowledge of all our members.
 
We can hear just how overwhelming this is feeling for you, a history of trauma, health issues and loss of a loved one; it must feel like there is no end to the challenges with the ensuing business and personal finances.  It is understandable as to why you are feeling this way, which is common when we feel like we are taking on too much, or that we are not getting any reprieve from the never-ending demands of life.
 
We are glad to hear you are engaging with your GP, a financial advisor and have supportive people around, you sound like such a resourceful and resilient person who has continued to overcome challenges along the way.  In addition to posting in the forums, we want you to know that you can call or chat to one of our trained mental health professionals who will also be able to listen and offer care; it’s completely confidential and available 24/7:
 
To call us, contact 1300 22 4636
To use webchat, Click Here 
 
Thank you again for joining us here and for starting this conversation; please make sure you continue to take care of you and feel free to come back and update us on how you are feeling, if you are comfortable.
 
Regards
 
Sophie M
 

[OgresHaveLayers]

Hi Sophie M,

I am feeling the most overwhelmed I have ever felt and you are right, it feels like there is no reprieve this time. I have used the webchat function on Beyond Blue recently.

I am hoping I can get some helpful advice from the members here.

I guess I  pretty resilient and resourceful, sometimes though I am just so tired of having to bounce back.

Cheers,

OgresHaveLayers

[Bob_22]

Hi OgresHaveLayers,

Welcome to the forums and thankyou for posting your story here. I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling at the moment. You sound like an incredibly strong and resilient person to have gone through everything you have over the last few years and still have the courage to reach out to your GP and come here for advice. 

Unfortunately I do not have much experience or advice when it comes to running one's own business. My mum used to run a post office, however she ended up selling it when it became too full on and someone made a good offer. I too am having financial problems and trouble finding work. Some advice I was given by a friend was to see a careers counsellor. She saw one with little work experience and was lined up for a very lucrative job and is now thriving. I'm not sure if that is something you are capable of doing at the same time as running your own business. 

It is definitely difficult to run a personal business whilst maintaining one's mental health. I think it comes down to prioritising properly and making sure have enough time to take care of yourself. Trying to put safeguards in place (such as not working on the weekends) to avoid getting burnt out. Again, its hard for me to say as I don't have much experience. I hope this helps a bit.

Please keep us updated on how you're going. If there's anything more you'd like to share it would be great to hear from you. Welcome again to the forums and I hope you find the community here supportive.

Bob

[OgresHaveLayers]

Hi Bob_22,

I have been thinking I might need to get a job as well as running this business. Being a 20 year veteran in nursing and unable to do that anymore I have no idea what to do. Careers Counsellor does sound like a good idea. I will look into it.

I have put those safeguards in. I don't do work at home. I keep weekends for myself. I work from 11am til 4:30 pm only. I am just struggling with trying to get started getting everything back on track. I need direction.

Before my brain decided to take a vacation I was ready to take on a worker which I think would have really helped and my business was doing really well. A worker would keep me accountable and someone to bounce ideas off, and just be company here. But I am nowhere near being able to organise that now. I have fallen too far back.

Cheers,

OgresHaveLayers

[Bob_22]

Hi OgresHaveLayers,

Thanks for the update. I'm glad to hear that you are actively taking care of your mental health despite everything that is going on for you. I'm sorry to hear that you're no longer in a position to bring someone on at work. However, just because you can't do so now doesn't mean you can't when things are more on track. For example, it might be best that you perhaps focus on your mental health for now and see where things go with your medication. It might also be an idea to have someone to talk to such as a psychologist if you and your GP think that's a good idea. I've had to start from scratch a few times now and I've always had to focus on my mental health before working or studying. Hope that makes sense.

Bob

[OgresHaveLayers]

Hi Bob,

You are right. I need to focus on my mental health first. Unfortunately there is just so much riding on the business financially, I still need to get that somehwat happening.

My GP has referred me to a psychologist and I have had one session so far. Second session next week. That is helping. I think I have the support around to get me through it. My biggest hurdle is figuring out how to get the business going again. Honestly, because I have put so much into it. I need it to be at least functioning again also to help with my mental health.

I managed to drag myself to an audition for a play here week before last (something I really enjoy and haven't done in a few years) and got the part. Which is hugely exciting for me, but rehearsals don't start til February, so the social side of it is still a while away.

These forums beyond blue has are awesome and are helping by allowing us to connect with others going through the same. I am LGBTQIA+ and have found the thread on here and it feels good to give my support to those going through the stuff I have before too. I wish I had accidentally stumbled across them before.

OgresHaveLayers

[Bob_22]

Hi OgresHaveLayers,

Thanks for the update. It's great to hear that you've been finding these forums helpful and you bring something special to these forums also. It's also great to hear that you've started seeing a psychologist and feel that you have enough support. That is very reassuring. It's a shame that your rehearsals don't start until February but good to hear that you got the part. I feel the same also, I don't start study until february and wish it started sooner so I could keep busy and meet some  new people. 

Unfortunately, as I mentioned, I don't have much specific advice around running a business but you sound like a very capable, intelligent and resilient individual. I'm sure you will find a way to keep your business afloat before eventually thriving. I know it can sound dismissive but it sounds like you have all the right tools and now it is a matter of time. Sorry I can't be of any more assistance. But please keep us updated on your journey and I look forward to hearing more about your story. 💙

Bob

[OgresHaveLayers]

No need to apologise. It is fine. It is nice to have someone acknowledge your achievements and notice how capable you are who is outside of the current stress. It somehow makes the day brighter. I don't find any of it dismissive. I have always appreciated when someone is honest enough to say, I don't know about that, but here's something I can contribute. I thank you Bob_22. What will you be studying? The biggest hurdle with all of this is how close it is to Christmas. Just makes it harder to get everything back on track. Everywhere is slowing down for the year. Customers are crankier. It is just feels like the worst time to be trying to bring yourself back to life after a depressive episode. Especially being the first real time of it.

Cheers,

OgresHaveLayers

[Bob_22]

Hi OgresHaveLayers,

Thanks for the update and hope you had a good weekend. Thanks so much for the kind feedback. It means a lot to me personally. I will be studying a diploma of mental health at TAFE next year. I hope to be a mental health support worker or peer support worker fingers crossed. Yes the holiday season is very tough especially for retail and small businesses. And I hear there is a general shortage of goods in the sales industry at the moment not to mention the job shortages. 

I found a media release from a few years back that BB released about christmas and the financial hardship, family conflict and loneliness can increase stress. Link is here: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/media/media-releases/media-releases/be-kind-to-your-mental-health-this... 

Unfortunately the christmas thread doesn't seem to be active anymore but the BB cafe which is used for similar purposes is still very active and can be found here: https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/bb-social-zone/the-bb-cafe/td-p/233778 

Hope this helps a little bit. Thank you again for your kind words. Please keep us updated and take care of yourself. 💙

Bob