I don’t really know what to say

[Shanks]

I don’t really know what to say on here. Guess I’m here to just say hi and that I’m tired of being sad all the time and having no friends. I guess this is me trying to reach out and ask for help. I don’t really know anymore, I’m so lost. 

[sbella02]

Hey, thank you so much for reaching out. I'm sorry to hear that you've been feeling like this. Feeling like you've got nobody around can be really challenging too. 

Are you part of any groups or clubs at all, or would you be open to looking into some? Sometimes, surrounding yourself with people who have common interests or goals can be really meaningful if you're struggling. Part-time work, volunteering, or frequenting spaces in your local area can also be good means of finding people to chat with. Alternatively, if in-person interactions aren't the right fit for you at this time, online social support can be just as meaningful - places like Reddit and Discord can be good to start finding people to chat with who have things in common with you.

What else has been on your mind? Feel free to share as much or as little as you'd like to.

Take care, SB

[Shanks]

Thankyou for the reply! And no I am not part of a club or group, and I genuinely have no friends, and after what happened with my best friend and I, I have massive trust issues with people. My anxiety and depression has gotten to the point that it’s so bad that I rarely leave my house. I am currently looking for part time employment but I fear my mental health is getting so poor I’m not sure anyone would even want me working for them. Posting on these forums are my first attempt of reaching out. I find using Reddit and Discord personally is a bit of a rabbit hole so I do not use those to post about my mental health. Sorry for my little rant, I probably don’t even make sense 🤦🏻‍♀️ Also hi from another Bella 😛

[Shanks]

The only reason I feel I’m still here is because of family and pets, which I can acknowledge it means that people love and care for me yes, but it also creates an immense sense of guilt. I can’t do anything because I know it will crush my mother and brother, and I’m not going to leave my cats with nobody to care for them. So now I’m just stuck suffering in a perpetual state of anger and guilt. Angry because I don’t want to be here, haven’t for a long time and guilt when I feel angry because like I said I can’t do that to my family. 

[Shanks]

I’m 27 and am in need of direction on how to get help. At the moment I do not make enough money to actually see a therapist or anything like that. The last time I tried getting help in 2018 I was apparently put on a mental health care plan with I think 8-10 free sessions. However when I had my session I ended up getting charged for them even though my doctor at the time had put me on the mental health care plan. Back then I had a stable job and was able to pay for them, however it’s left me with some anxiety and caution when it comes to asking for a plan so I haven’t bothered to ask for help again until now. I would just like to know if anyone had any advice on ways to ask/look for help? 

[EsCee]

Hi Shanks. What you wrote as your introduction is what I would write if I did one. However I am around people but still feel alone.

You are right in that guilt can keep you going but you are also right then that people love you. 

If you are worried that you will be charged even though you have a mental health plan, you could always email your request for a booking and ask the question. That way you don't have to talk on the phone or feel embarrassed asking the question because the person doesn't know you - and you then have the answer in writing.

Tell us the pros and cons about applying for the part time job? What are your skills?

Could you volunteer at an animal shelter and help out more cats?

[Lighthorse72]

Hi Shanks,

You are still young and have a lot going for you. Sometimes it doesn't seem like it but the fact that you have family that love you shows that people do care.

When I was the same age as you I was single, lonely and working bust didn't go out and had very little self confidence. Now at 53 and screwing my life up, I have found that there are people that do care, even though I find it hard still to connect. Like you I have trust issues and cannot let people get close. I have found a reason to keep going though. For me it was recommitting my life to God and finding different hobbies to do that has helped me along with support from the church I go to.

Maybe make a list of things that you are good at will help you see things differently. You love cats, then maybe volunteering at a pet shelter may help, plus it is something you can put on your resume to help you find work.

Life is a precious gift and when you find your joy, your outlook changes.