Honest with myself

[ashamg]

Hi All,

First time member here. Thought it was time I was honest and reached out past the anxiety. I have thought more and more about joining the discussion...but fear held me back.

I am a long time battler of Anxiety, my first thought was as a 6 year old. That was nearly 24 years ago now. It wasn't until I was in my 20's and with a young child that I realised that I couldn't do it "alone" and got help from my doctor. My husband doesn't understand the illness, so has the misguided views of the 'unenlightened', but he still tries.

2017 has been a particularly rough year so far. I have lost a close friend, my husband and I lost very close family member, I was bullied out of my job and our house was flooded with the recent cyclonic weather in QLD (our insurance has denied our claim and we now have a $30,000 repair bill at least).

Today I hit rock bottom. I battled through all the above, however today I just couldn't cope. After a call to Lifeline (first ever), a visit from a couple of nice religious doorknockers and a call to a friend I have managed to pull myself back together. However, I don't have a lot of people who understand what is happening mentally, anyone who can relate. I am hoping to find some like minded people here and hopefully gain a friend or two.

Thanks for reading...ashamg

[MarkJT]

Ashmag, hey welcome to the forums. It is a very supportive environment that is full, quite literally, of people like you and me that have lived experience in mental health conditions.

I think it is brilliant that you have reached out for some advice and to connect with others. Really positive move by you.

Sorry to hear that it has been a rough year but you are surviving it - shows hows resilient you are.

With hubby, perhaps get him to read through some of the carer threads on this forum. That might give him some thoughts on what it is like to be a carer and some information on anxiety is ever present on the beyondblue website. Check it out.

Really good decision making in ringing Lifeline. The services that do that are there for a reason and you chose to give them a ring. Well done.

Can i ask if you are being treated for your anxiety? Are you on any medications for it? Seen a GP/Psych?

As you are new here, have a look around at a few other threads - there are so many people here that would or have walked in your shoes so you are certainly not alone.

Mark

[MarkJT]

ashamg, sorry i forgot to add that being honest with yourself is a really hard thing to come to. To admit to yourself that you are not perfect and have anxiety is a really massive step to recovering from it.

I was diagnosed with PTSD, depression and anxiety in 2013 after a near decade of symptoms and although i took the PTSD diagnoses without any issues, it was much harder for depression and anxiety. Had to very truthful with myself and a fair bit of self reflection later, was able to hit it head on.

Great stuff by you.

Mark.

[CMF]

Hi ashamg and welcome,

Sorry to here of what you've have been through and also sorry to hear that your husbby is not so understanding. It is hard when you are around people who don't understand and can't empathise.

You will find many understanding people here and will definitely make a friend or two. Please feel free to share more of your journey, we are all here to listen and help.

As Mark suggested, have a look at a few other threads and look into the social zone also. It is a good break from the difficult stuff and a bit of fun with the people you will meet here.

Look forward to seeing you around the threads.

cmf

[geoff]

hello ashamg, it is so difficult to try and explain to a loved one that you have and do suffer badly from anxiety, because they feel as though you're only kidding them, and may tell you 'not to worry', but these words aren't comforting nor supportive, and then feel as though you're on your own, struggling away.
I suppose it's no different than when you tell a loved one that you're had a sore leg, they may offer their sympathy to you, but only once.
There have been three hugely difficult events that have caused you so much pain, and I'm deeply sorry to hear the loss of a very close friend and family member, these in themselves are so very sad to try and cope with, plus the insurance company denying your claim is always something each one of us always fears, especially when you honour the monthly premium only for them to shut the door on you.
As Mark has suggested try and get your husband to learn some more about anxiety/depression, because as we all go through life, there will no doubt be some hiccups along the way, that we have to know on how to overcome. Geoff.