Hi everyone

[Mummyoffour]

Hi all, am definitely not new to anxiety, but new to this overwhelming feeling that it's never going to leave!
I was diagnosed with anxiety and mild depression about 10 years ago at the end of a volatile marriage. My counsellor was fantastic and we worked out some good coping and management skills which have helped me out immensely....until now.
Two years ago, I was diagnosed with cancer. My partner was a wonderful support and actually planned our wedding to happen sooner rather than later so that I could go into hospital for treatment as his wife, he was there with me every step of the way.
A year ago I was declared cancer free, but still required 3 monthly checks. My last check came back as suspicious. My husband I know is concerned, but unlike last time, he seems distant and not supportive at all.
My dear mum passed away in June, due to family issues with my dad, I hadn't seen her for about 8 years. We resumed contact at my wedding, but by then it was too late, she was hospitalised soon after and never came good. I feel such guilt over this.
I have been to see my GP to get an appointment with a counsellor, I know I am heading downhill fast. I can't get into our local one (I live in a small country town) until 28th November. I'm lost. It feels like my brain is going to overload and shut down soon.

Anyways sorry for the rambling, not sure if all of this needed to go into my introduction spiel haha...but this is me, warts and all! Hi!! 🙂

[Just Sara]

Hi and welcome Mummyoffour!

What you've described is a long and arduous path of grief, loss, fear, helplessness and a partner who's also finding it difficult to face his own helplessness.

It's no wonder you've seen a rise in symptoms. Please see the value of being kind and gentle on yourself. Allow room to grieve and take time away from life for a while. I know your results of 'suspect' have thrown a spanner in the works, but there's nil you can do.

You don't mention psychological support for your spouse. (By the way he sounds like a keeper hun!) Talking with someone not involved can make all the difference. Men tend to isolate themselves if they can't 'fix' the problem as the protector and figure-head of the home. He's probably suffering too.

Sounds like a good time to get away for a while for some quiet time to reflect and recharge...respite. God knows it's been a hard slog! Is there a way to have the kids taken care of during this time?

I hope you stick with the caring people here on BB forum; and no you're not rambling ok? You express yourself well...I hear you loud and clear.

Warm and kind thoughts...(and hugs)...Sara xo

[SourceShield]

Welcome!

MuchLove 2 U.

[Mummyoffour]

Thanks for the support. Later that afternoon, I called my local gp in tears and he agreed to see me straight away. We have set up a mental health plan, he did a complete blood test analysis to check to it's not my thyroid or something else sending me loopy haha!
I have an appointment with the counselor in December, but in the meantime, he has put me on medication. I feel it is making a difference already. I have been able to go back to work.
My husband also has an appointment with the counsellor, so he has some strategies in place on the days I'm feeling overwhelmed. I'm so glad I had my little meltdown, it forced me to seek help.

[Just Sara]

Hi again Mummy! Lovely to hear from you, especially with such good news.

I've lost count of how many times I've read from people that their meltdown ended up being beneficial. As the saying goes; 'When God taps you on the shoulder and you don't listen, he shakes you. If you still don't listen he slaps your face. If that doesn't work, it's a brick up the side of your head!' Get my meaning? lol

I'm so glad your husband has organised support for himself too. It all sounds like things are coming together. Well done! Continue with the good work, it's important the med's are doing good...that's a great bonus straight off the mark as some have to trial the list.

Looking forward to hearing more good news for the future...warm and kind thoughts...Sara xo