Dear ToKiri~
I'd like to welcome you here to the Forum. It is a friendly place - quite safe from all unkindness. It is also a good place to vent -which is natural, it is a basic human need. I hope when we talk you will feel a bit better.
Although I do not know of the difficulties you have faced in the past I'm not surprised there are times when you feel sad, and have self-doubts. After all you have left your home, come to a completely strange country where your own language is not spoken. Just changing languages is a huge struggle and changing to a new society a bigger one.
It is very easy to judge yourself by what you may have been in the past, however now these changes, and maybe loneliness and feeling out of place too, are things that will weight the spirit down.
Just reading you words I can see your English is excellent and also that you are studying. Both great things. I'm sorry younger peole are treating you badly, being bullied is a very hard thing to deal with. One can feel almost powerless and for some reason that makes one feel bad about oneself.
It is of course the bullies who are at fault. Is there any action you can take about this?
Do you have anyone in your life you can trust to talk with? Someone who will show they care? Maybe family -or are they too far away? Dealing with everything alone is extra hard.
You sound a lovely, considerate and capable person and I hope we can talk again
Croix
