Hi everyone, newbie here 😃

[Blue_Lady]

i have suffered from depression for over 20 years and still trying to deny it! Silly hey? I have hit rock bottom again and hoping I Can pick my self up, dust myself down and begin proper recovery without too much interruption to me and my family 😟

[james1]

Hi Blue Lady,

Welcome to the forums!

20 years is a long time! I'm really glad you've come here to talk to us about it and that you're looking to seek help. That's really admirable that you've made that mental decision to get better.

Have you ever been to get professional help before?

Please feel free to tell us more about yourself - this is a really safe place and we are not judgemental. I find telling people about my day and what I'm finding difficult really helps me cope with my own depression.

James

[Starwolf]

Hi Blue Lady, good to meet you.

Reaching out to share your thoughts is a courageous and wise decision.

Denial is a common reaction. The problem with it is that it is not very helpful. 20 years is a long time to suffer...perhaps time has come to turn a page. Hitting hard bottom is a painful head space to be in. Many of us here can relate to this situation. My heart goes out to you. On the brighter side, it can be a reminder that the only way out of the abyss is often via the bottom.

Your wish for recovery shows your resilience. Well done for acknowledging there is a problem which requires attention. Making a GP appointment would be a positive first step. There's no need to go it alone when assistance is available. With the right help and support, depression is manageable. You deserve to take good care of yourself and continue to take care of your family minus some of that inner pain.

Please feel free to post as often and as much as you feel comfortable with. Sometimes, we all need to let steam off. These forums are a safe place to do so. There is always someone who will listen, someone who cares and understands.

Here for you.

[Blue_Lady]

Hi James 😃

I know i didn't give too much info in my first post. I have been on medication and seen many Doctors, Psychiatrists and Psychologists over the years but because I have had much turbulence in my life I tend to blame it on that and my inability to cope, then when I get better and things are ok, I start to think that there is nothing wrong with me other than i can't cope sometimes. Or i blame it on the situation at that time. One being that I have a son with Autism.

I tend to stop taking meds thinking I'm ok but after I do(Which is what I've done again) Everything starts to fall apart.

I'm back on again and have made an appointment with a Psychologist, so on the right track. I'm just really down about the fact that I've had to take today and the rest of the week off and work have made me feel so guilty about it, mind you I Take very little time off work, in fact, I have nearly 300 hours of sick leave. I'm trying to let it go but finding it hard at the moment 😧

[Blue_Lady]

Hi there 😊, sorry Im not good with this, are you able to see my reply to the previous person? I hope so cause I don't want to tell my sad old story again and again.

Thank you so much for your interest, I'm a little imotionally exausted at the moment so can't think too well ☺

[james1]

Hey Blue Lady,

Thank you so much for replying. I know it can be really draining to post and there are days when I just don't want to talk in case it gets worse.

I'm really glad that you recognise the need to get some help and that you've not only reached out to us but made an appointment with a psychologist. That's a really positive step. You've also done the right thing by taking time off work - you sound really dedicated to your work and sometimes we can forget that work will continue without us, but our mental health will just get worse without proper care.

When will your appointment be?

Here's a hug to help you get through the day!

James

[Starwolf]

Thank you for providing more insight into your situation. You do have a lot on your plate so it is important to take necessary steps to remain strong and functional. Having been sole carer for a disabled daughter, I know that mental exhaustion can easily lead to burn out.

Taking time off to do so is time well spent. Well done for taking this brave step forward. Your well being is a priority and your son needs and deserves a happy Mum.

[Blue_Lady]

Thank you both for your replies, its nice to know you are not alone, sometimes I Just think I'm crazy, but what is crazy?

At the same time I think I'm very normal and thats why I can't understand why i feel like this. Looking forward to my Psychologist appointment in 3 weeks. She is away at the moment but she said if I really need her we can have a phone or skype meeting 😊

[Guest_322]

Hi Blue Lady.

I think that the others have already said the loveliest, most supportive things so I'll keep my message brief.

Keep holding on. Let us support you here.