Hi All, newbie looking for support, PTSD and depression

[ITnErd6]

Hi Everyone,

I guess realistically I've been suffering since I was released from a remand centre 3years ago. I was arrested and charged for a serious assault that didn't happen. Charges were dropped after I spent 89 days inside.

I've been speaking to a pysch on and off since but a recent hospitalisation and a frank discussion with my cardiologist has made me realise my head still isn't right.

Since my release from remand I've had 2 heart operations and now have 2 stents. High cholesterol is to blame and it's hereditary.

RecentlyI had an extreme adverse reaction to my heart medication which caused a car accident. 6 months later after a police investigation and court I've lost my driver's licence for 6 months. Driving my kids to school as a stay at home dad was my remaining sole purpose in life.

Remanddestroyed my small business and affected my ability to problem solve in the workplace. I've been on the dole and then supporting parents payments since.

My wife works full-time and she finds it a struggle. It's even harder for her since I lost my licence as I used to do most of the driving.

I did drive for uber for a while but haven't since the heart issues. I didn't really do it for the income, although it was useful. I did it to feel useful and get over my anxiety.

I guess I've come here for support and may some guidance to finding a better pysch.

[Blackrabbit]

Hey mate,
Sounds like you've really been through the wars lately.

I've only been here for a couple of days myself, so not much to offer other than a friendly welcome.

I'm a stay at home parent too and its a big enough job at the best of times, let alone with what you have going on.

I'm pretty sure you'll find some comfort and guidance here, there are some helpful folks on this forum.

Take care

[Birdy77]

Hi ITnErd, (hello Blackrabbit),

It sounds like life feels a bit yuck for you at the moment, and I'm really sorry to hear of the string of bad luck you've had.

May i say though that your role as a stay at home dad, driving or not, is so purposeful and excellent. Truly. Your kids are lucky to have you at home - if you can't drive, that's not the end of the world - very inconvenient, but nothing to be ashamed of.

Wrongful incarceration - that is its own world of hurt and i am sorry you've been there. My friend's son was too, and her heart hurts every day still for it, years on.

I just want to say welcome as well, and know that you are supported here. We're listening.

🌻birdy

[ITnErd6]

Hi Birdy77,

thanks for your kind words. Just typing out my post helped a little.

I've been searching through old posts and hearing others stories and troubles helps me understand and realise maybe things aren't as bad for me.

Every little bit helps i guess.

[ITnErd6]

Hi BlackRabbit,

thanks for the welcome, nice to hear from another stay at home parent.

I have for the first time in months, maybe years done some paid work in IT.

I haven't been able to problem solve very well since being incarcerated, I would just get confused then anxious and have to get up and leave. Which doesn't really work in a business environment. Its been a lot to get used to not being able to problem solve enterprise IT issues after doing it for over 15 years.

It nearly did my head in just swapping in a few new PC's in a small business, thankfully the client is very understanding and aware of my situation.

I have tried to change direction inside IT but found I have the same roadblocks in my head.

Ah the joys of life

[Lee97]

Hey ITnERd6,

I am so sorry for your situation. Being wrongly incarcerated, I couldn’t really imagine much worse. You’ve been strong to be able to get through it and start moving on. 3 years isn’t that long ago when you’re talking about trauma, so it’s understandable that you still are having some trouble with it. I hope you find some peace in the next few years and can move on properly from the whole experience.
like others have said, definitely don’t feel guilty about not being able to drive. Sounds like it was because of medical reasons that the accident occurred and that isn’t your fault.
not sure where you are or how you could find a better psychologist but I’d definitely recommend talking to a dr to get a mental health care plan if you can so you can see someone without costing a fortune. Even if not you could see if there are some online options as I have seen some online counselling or programs that you can do over the phone which may help. But taking does seem to help for some reason lol.
take care.

[ITnErd6]

Hi Lee97,

yes I've been on a MHCP every year since, I've run out of sessions this year.

I had the prefect male psych a few years back but he retired damn it.

I'll just have to keep asking as many people as I can for recommendations for a new one.