Helpless and hopeless.

[tevont]

I am an international student currently residing alone in Hobart city. Recently graduated, I am facing a sense of helplessness and hopelessness as I embark on the job search with only four months of experience. Compounding my challenges, I recently ended a relationship with my boyfriend during my first internship at a firm, and now I find myself shouldering the burden of double rent payments after living together. Struggling with loneliness in a city where I lack close friends, I am uncertain about my prospects following the one-month internship and am unsure how to inquire about potential job retention. The prospect of living alone in Hobart has become a significant source of anxiety, as I am uncertain about my goals. I currently lack the confidence to make new friends, with my colleagues at work being my only social connection.

Adding to my distress, I am grappling with the emotional aftermath of the breakup, which occurred just five days ago. As my rent lease approaches expiration, the financial strain of high rental costs exacerbates my challenges. 

I miss him a lot.

[indigo22]

Hi tevont,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for reaching out to us.

I'm sorry you are feeling unsettled at present and unsure of the future. Firstly, labeling yourself is not helpful to you, you are not helpless or hopeless, you are just out of your comfort zone and feeling isolated.

So let's break this down into pieces you can handle like a jig saw puzzle. Your finances need to be your first priority. Are you getting help through Centrelink such as rental assistance? Can you perhaps try to find a flat mate to help with the rent? I know you said you don't have close friends, but perhaps you could ask the people you do know if they know of anyone who is looking for share accommodation. Alternatively, you could check the local listings to see it someone is looking for a flat mate since you said your lease is getting close to expiring.

I am sorry you recently broke up, perhaps talking to a social worker or a mental health worker at a local clinic might help you at present to resolve your feelings about the break up.

As far as the potential for ongoing work where you are interning, perhaps you can talk with your work colleagues about who to approach and if they know of any placements that are opening up in the near future.

Are you here in Australia permanently, or just for a set period of time?

I hope at least some of this is helpful to you, I am happy to continue this conversation if you wish.

Take care,

indigo 

[tevont]

I'm glad you reminded me that this is just a period out of my comfort zone. A few days ago, I felt quite miserable and idle, spending time in my room, missing him, and facing the pressure of taking the PTE exam. Although I'm not a PR, I'm actively working towards it, and that's why I can't apply for Centrelink.

I prefer living alone because sharing a room with someone I don't know makes me uncomfortable and unable to sleep. I find it challenging to make friends, and even if I do, they tend to be only from university or work and not long-lasting. I struggle with knowing how to initiate and sustain friendships, especially with female friends. I'm doing my best to find a new place, but my current roommates advise against moving to avoid complications since they'll be leaving in September.

Regarding job instability, I consulted my buddy today, and he suggested waiting until the last week of the internship before asking about it. It's my first internship opportunity, and I'm unsure about the process.

Thank you so much for your response, Indigo. It means a lot to me that someone understands my challenges and shares solutions. I appreciate not feeling alone in this.

[indigo22]

Hi again tevont,

Sorry, I misunderstood your living situation and I understand you not wanting to share a room with someone you don't know.

You may be able to seek some assistance through one of the charities if finances become difficult. Also you could have a talk with a financial counsellor, their services are free and they may be able to help you find some support that you are unaware of.

I know making friends is not easy if you are a bit shy or inhibited. Is there a hobby or sport you are interested in? If so, maybe have a look for a nearby group or club so you can meet people with similar interests. At least that gives you a common interest to get the conversation going.

I feel sure you will do well with the PTE exam, you write perfectly, so clearly you have an excellent grasp of English. 

There is a section in the forums that is dedicated to young people which you will find here

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/young-people/bd-p/c1-sc4-b1

chatting with people going through similar situations may help you also.

You are definitely not alone, we are here to support you.

indigo