Help ?

[ekaj_jake]

Hello new here - just unsure what to do anymore I feel totally crazy - I'm currently in a really bad depressive episode- it's been about a month - I struggle to get out of bed struggle to just function- I manage to go to work but that's pretty much it - every time I'm alone I just can't seem to stop crying - intense feelings of worthlessness and isolation and hopelessness- no matter how much sleep I get in still exhausted i just don't understand anymore I feel crazy like truly crazy - I called in sick 3 days last week and when I went back to work everyone asked how I was - I didn't even realise I had 3 days off I don't even really remember them I must of just slept for 3 days

this is the worst it's been or the worst I can remember for a while anyway- I have been diagnosed with depression but this feels worse than ever before

it's the most bizarre thing

before this I was complete opposite I was on a high I was managing on only about 3 hours sleep a night I was spectacular felt on top of the world - I'd met a guy everything was spectacular higher than high it was beyond brilliant I felt like I'd truly met someone who understood me - and then out of the blue I need space I can't do this I need you to leave me alone

ive always been told my whole life I'm too intense or that I'm manic or that I'm too much I've never really understood it

I'm just feeling well at this exact second I'm feeling nothing but I'm so tired of being emotionally and physically exhausted and I'm sick of feeling like a complete crazy person and I don't know why I just want answers I just want to feel normal I don't know what to do anymore

[Croix]

Dear Ekaj.jake~

Welcome here to the Forum, I'm sorry you are having this horrible time, I guess it is something many of us here can relate to very well .

Being that exhausted, depressed and hopeless, crying and having to miss work are all things that need to be fixed, even if you find it hard to do. I know you say you have been diagnosed with depression. Hopefully you are seeing your doctor often and your situation - and treatment - is being monitored.

Can I suggest you go back and first off say that whatever the treatment is it does not seem to be working?

I would also suggest you query if that diagnosis of depression is a tentative one, and at the same time talk abut the high or highs you have experienced. As someone wiht bouts of depression, anxiety and other things I've never swung like that. True there have been periods of very down, a bit like you hare having, but when things have improved I've merely flattened out and never reached a similar high.

I'm not a doctor and so hesitate to say anything else, but do strongly suggest you talk about those highs.

Apart from medical support do you have anyone to lean on at the moment, a partner, family member or friend? Trying to struggle on by yourself with all this to contend with is horrible and terribly hard, hopefully there is someone to help you.

I hope to hear from you again soon

Croix