FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Happy to be here

guest143
Community Member
my first post (:
9 Replies 9

Chris_B
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Hi there, welcome to the forums. 

Heythere
Community Member
Mine too, hope you're ok 🙂

Hi Guest. Welcome

Feel free to post your issues you'd like discussed.

Tony WK

Coming on here is a big step for some of us as we feel in need and then nothing back, so wondering (no offence) what's the point

Hi Heythere

Because you havent tried to talk to me yet.

I'd love to listen to your story.

Tony WK

Hi Tony, sorry I'm not really sure how this all works. I read someone's story and sent this but didn't get a reply. I'm really struggling sometimes. When I'm at work I'm fantastic and trying to get as many shifts as I can to stay in that mode but then have to come home and either be alone or deal with his stuff which makes the alone very desirable I might add. Anyway apologies if I caused any offence. Thanks for your reply. .......Hi there, your story hit a chord with me. My ex partner has only ever been diagnosed with ADHD (he is in his 30's). We have had a very up and down relationship with both of us having alcohol issues. We 'officially' broke up a year ago but have been trying to do this tortured friendship ever since. I am clean of alcohol for 15 months now and as we share a business together I'm kind of tied to not being able to break all contact. In the meantime his personality is never give up and mine is I want peace but too nice to call this fractured relationship that we have. He is a functioning alcoholic and I'm a people pleaser that has my life on hold to his demands, temper tantrums and controlling ways. But there is still something that keeps me giving in to those demands and I don't know what to do. I am 45, I have a career in nursing now that I adore, a beautiful family yet this person in my life that only brings me grief yet that I still cater too. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Heythere
Community Member
Rest my case this site is a waste of time, in need of help don't bother

Hello Heythere

Welcome to Beyond Blue.

Don't give up on us yet. I am sorry no one has been able to reply to you straight away. The way this site works is that people write their stories and various other people read and comment in response. Those of us who frequently respond to posts are not always available because we too have our down days and problems in life. There are many others who write in and share their stories and experiences and will answer others such as you.

I have not responded to you because I just completed a three week course of radiotherapy for cancer. It's now completed but the side effect is to make me very tired. I find I can only answer one or two posts per day. So I have concentrated on replying to those with whom I have already established a communication. It may seem unfair or careless of us not to answer you immediately, and I assure you we do our best, but it can be stressful and we need to take care of ourselves also.

It is also more desirable that those who respond have some insight or experience into the difficulties you have. We are not professional people and have no qualifications. We simply offer our own thoughts.

Congratulations on breaking the alcohol habit. It's not been my habit so I can only imagine how hard it is. There are others who write in here who have also stopped drinking and maybe you can start a thread and make contact with those people.

I can relate to your 'tortured' relationship as I have experienced a similar relationship. My husband was not an alcoholic and does not have ADHD. However he is a very controlling person and quite emotionally abusive. I left him 15 years ago. It was quite traumatic and I fell into a severe depression.

If I understand you correctly you have a nursing career and also a business partnership with your ex-spouse. When you say you have a beautiful family, do your mean your children or other family members? If children, are they the children of your ex-spouse? Sorry to ask all these questions. I am trying to get a clear picture of your situation.

Apart from all that, is there a reason why you cannot dissolve the business partnership and get rid of this man from your life? I realise this sounds simplistic and there are probably heaps of reasons why this cannot happen. So would you please reply and tell us a little more.

Warm regards
Mary

 

Chris_B
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Heythere, sorry to hear you're not doing so well at the moment. 

It's worth remembering that immediate support is not available via these forums. Some days are slower than others, and some topics hit home with people more than others. The amount of replies received will always vary from day to day. We would encourage you to get involved with the community - if you're new to forums, we have a thread here on tips to get you started.

If you need more immediate contact, please use our support service either via phone or web chat.