I have been wanting to connect with people about my anxiety/depression so I hope this website can help in some way. My name is Cass. I am 24 years old and have lived with depression and anxiety since I was 17. I have always been the sensitive and highly strung person so in hindsight it makes sense that I would be so susceptible. My issues began like any teenager..friends..I had the same group of friends my whole life and I noticed that I wasn't fitting, in fact I was different to them and more mature. But despite psychotherapy and people telling me this happens, I grieved, and I continue to grieve, even though I logically understood and didnt want to be associated with those people anymore. I started on medication which helped take the edge off constant anxiety and I continue to use it today. I finished school, started university and had my first real breakup. I had a few friends through this process, all from different circles in my life and they helped a lot. I had a good uni experience, made friends but I still feel as though I don't fit in (or that they care about me). It has continued to the work place. My moods will constantly vary (I have dark and happy days), I am constantly anxious, I doubt myself at work and need constant reassurance that I am doing really well (I can't be doing anything just ok I have to be the best or I will become very anxious), it has gotten to the point where I hear people compliment other staff members in general group conversation and I think I am horrible at what I do. HOW DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?!?! I have a loving partner of two years and a few close friends I could tell anything too, I should think myself very lucky. But why do I continue to do this to myself? As I said previously, I am currently taking medication, have used psychotherapy in the past (my psychologist has moved and I haven't found anyone as good as her since otherwise I would continue), I have tried mindfulness which I love but that and things like exercise I struggle to bother doing. If I could connect with a few people on here, hear their stories, and gain so insight into what can help me, or motivate me to continue to improve my anxious/depressed moods I think I would be relieved and very grateful. Thanks for reading
