Feeling lost and overwhelmed

CobraBubbles · ‎14-11-2018

Hi all

I'm new to BeyondBlue, but not new to depression and anxiety. I am 23 years old, and was diagnosed with depression and generalised anxiety disorder when I was about 16. I've been on and off treatments since then, I've undergone psychology and therapy, CBT training, etc

Recently, I was also diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, and I've been quite sick with this for the last few months. Things are slowly improving physically, but my mental health has taken a hit. I have missed a lot of work (I work full time in government administration), and the attitude from my colleages has turned rather nasty. I can't pinpoint many specific incidences, but I've been receiving a lot of snarky, cruel comments disguised as something innocent.

I've started hating going to work. I don't want to be there, and no one else wants me there either. I approached management to ask for a temporary reduction of hours until I get my health under control, and this was refused. My manager has suggested I resign and find a different job.

I want to return to study, but it won't be for another 5 months or so, and I don't know if I can last that long at this job, with the toll it's taking on my mental state. I want to cry all the time, I feel worthless, and so unfulfilled at this job.

My partner has been great, but he just doesn't really seem to understand exactly how I'm feeling, and I just don't know what to do anymore.

Tess2 · ‎14-11-2018

Hi Cobrabubbles,

you have certainly been dealing with a lot , mental health stuff since such a young age and now physical health problems too, I am glad that is being managed. Have you spoken about your current concerns with your GP or a mental health professional.

I think your work is being very unreasonable, were you given reasons why you could not reduce your hours? Is there Human Resources officer you could speak to for support in this?

i would just say, don’t leave in haste, think it through. Your mental health is very important so seek help with that and try to make your decision thoughtfully.

have you family who will support you emotionally?

Your partner sounds supportive, if he doesn’t seem to fully understand, wait till you feel the time is right and try to explain to him how it is, but often others do not fully comprehend depression and anxiety.

take care Tess

Rishie · ‎15-11-2018

Hi there. It's rotten that your work mates are treating you that way, especially when no one else sees or cares. I'm sorry your boss was so unsympathetic, it I don't blame you for not wanting to go when the conditions are like that. A lot of people don't or won't understand about mental health and the way it affects us. When I tried to explain about clinical depression to my boyfriend, he told me I wasn't sick. He never really understood. He was wonderful to me in a lot of ways, but he did expect me to at least pretend that everything was ok with me even when it wasn't. I hope your partner will be more understanding of your situation, or I hope you have friends who understand and can support you.
Hugs and prayers,
Rishie.Hi. It's rottenthat your fellow workers are treating you like that, it's a really bad feei

CobraBubbles · ‎16-11-2018

Hi Tess,

Thanks for your reply. I have spoken to a GP about this, (actually, I went into her office and promptly burst into tears the other day) and she has suggested returning to counseling, which I am now looking into.

My manager has cited understaffing as a reason for refusing part time hours, and I have had meeting with HR regarding this, and have provided supporting letters from my specialist, as well as given them authority to request information from my doctor, but this hasn't accomplished anything either.

This past week has been particularly hard, I have been trying so hard to convince myself and everyone else that everything is fine, and I've just snapped. I've been having daily panic attacks, depressive episodes, and migraines.