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Meet your community champions!

replies: 12

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

HELP..Am I posting in the right section?

replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

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Panic attack? in front of my boss, where to from here??

replies: 4

Hi All, So it's getting late and I'm having trouble getting to sleep. Seems to be a common thing of late. I spent 9 years in law enforcement then switched over to teaching four years ago as it was a better fit with a young family. A couple of months ago I had a conversation with someone and a high risk job I went to about 10yrs ago just hit me like a freight train. I have thoughts/memories about various jobs that come and go but this instance was much different and I had never such intense feelings hang around for a good week or so. I'm booked in to see a psychologist next week. In the meantime, early this week, I had a meeting where my boss was present when a parent became very verbally aggressive towards me. From what I can make of it, I think I may have had a bit of a panic attack (?) but I kind of managed to keep it together til the bloke left the building. The whole thing really knocked me for a six and now my boss has an insight that something is not quite right. I'm perplexed as to how I ought to manage this. Any thoughts/ideas would be appreciated. Thanks for your time!

It’s good to be here...

replies: 6

Hello everyone! This is my very first post on the beyondblue forums!! I am a health profession and will be posting around the forum as ‘Nurse Jenn’ in hope that I can support people using my experience as a mental health nurse. I have travelled around around the world and have been employed in mental health settings in places like Hawaii and Australia, NZ and Canada. I have worked in inpatient mental health settings as well as community based programs and more recently managed psychological services and have even managed a beyondblue program called NewAccess. My experience has been with people across all ages and cultures and much of my understand has come from listening and paying attention. In saying that, some of my greatest lightbulb moments in my career were realising that a loved one had a mental illness and I didn’t see the signs despite being a nurse!! It is amazing how thinking with your head versus thinking with your heart gives you completely different perspectives. I have had some great mentors in my career and have learned that the best person to start the healing and recovery journey is ‘you’. By being here on the online forum demonstrates that ‘you’ have started this journey towards healing or recovery or wellness or whatever it is that describes your path. So I am sending you a virtual ‘high five’ for just turning up here in the first place. I am pretty practical in how I deliver care and don’t beat around the bush so I will keep my responses to forum posts as succinct as I can though most people who know me would say that I have no shortage of words. You can ask me questions over in my 'Ask Nurse Jenn' thread, it is pinned over in the Treatments, Health Professionals and Therapies board. It feels super good to be here with you and I look forward to hearing your stories and sharing experiences. Nurse Jenn

Completely worthless and invisible

replies: 3

I’m 49 and first wanted to commit suicide when I was 14. I don’t know how I got this far and kept alive. I recently divorced from a woman I was with for 27 years. I never loved her but I stayed with her because no one ever lover her or protected her from sexual and physical abusers. I saved her and took her away from all of that. Only to have 5 children with a woman I didn’t love, that deserved love. So maybe I should’ve left her alone to find her real knight in shining armour. I made her miserable. Purely because I was not in love with her. I would have died or killed for her, and I did protect her fiercely. But she didn’t need that. Now that I’m free and I found a woman I truly live and completely adore, I’m more miserable than I ever thought I could be. I know myself now after all these years. She thinks she lives me, but she doesn’t. She’s in love with my good looks, and she loves what I do to her in the bedroom. If. It for that, she wouldn’t even notice me. I’m boring and have nothing interesting to say to her. Ever. Or anyone really. When I complain to her about feeling ignored, she makes an effort to make me feel like I’m special. But it lasts days maybe. Then like tonight, it goes back to normal. She will actually ask me a question like she actually cares, and then before i get a second to respond, she turns away and walks off to chat to someone she finds interesting. She always has. The reason I talk so fast is because I thing to myself that I only have a very small window to say what I want before people lose interest in me. It’s my fault entirely. I admit it. But it makes me sad. I have no one. Raped and abused for as long as I can remember. Repressed and ignored and unmothered. Why the hell was I even born. And then given my good looks and sexual ability? Screw everyone. I hate my life so much. I wish I could end it but I know my kids would be devastated. I could be an axe murderer and they’d still be upset if I died by my own hand. Because that’s the nature of a child. Screw this. Please just let me go. I’m so sad and miserable.

Desperate for help with husbands porn addiction - and maybe worse

replies: 3

Hi I'm new to this and have come here for advice -I discovered that my husband of 24 years is using porn daily - the porn he is watching is (what I consider) very demeaning. I found out because I found a hidden Android device in April and managed to find a way of seeing what he was looking at. The device seems to be used soley for the purpose of watching porn as there is not much else stored on it. He hides the device from me and he doesn't know that I am aware of it's existence. I have been noting the frequency of his habit and it is most days. There have been occaisonal visits to chat/hook up sites but no evidence that I can find of any action he has taken to make contact with anyone. However I found a note that he had written to himself in an old notebook - I think when we had problems about 6 years ago......It read that if our sex life didn't improve he would use the internet or 'Go elsewhere' He cheated on me once before 20 years ago but we worked things out so to read this has really rocked my world on top of the porn stuff. I feel that I really don't know him anymore and that he has kept so much of himself away from me and I feel that for him to write this is a clear indication of his intention to do whatever he needs regardless of my feelings - Is this a fair assumption? He is in a very high demanding job with a high profile and the stress that goes with it and is - what I consider - a high functioning alcoholic, drinking a bottle of wine and a few rums every single day - I think he has an addictive personality I know I should have addressed this months ago but I was terrified of opening the can of worms and of his temper and I feel that he will blame me - the note I found has made it apparent that I have to ask him what is going on but I'm sure how to how do I go about addressing this with him to get the best outcome ? I swing between feeling sick, angry and confused and am questioning my own handle on reality - I am also getting palpitations etc and I can't tell anyone about this - please help

Untitled

replies: 4

Hello. I'm a 33 year old male and have suffered from extreme depression and anxiety for over 16 years. I sought help on numerous occasions but nothing works. Nobody seems to listen to the real problem, it's all just ticking off boxes by the books. It's at the point where I've pretty much given up on seeking help because it just feels like a waste of time. Yet here I am posting here, fishing for some sense of connection or hope. My problems are deeply rooted in existential thinking and cascade from there. Nobody seems interested in helping work through those problems, it's all about the little steps and positive thinking. This is totally useless to me as any day to day activity is meaningless so long as my overall views are left untreated. It is both frustrating and devastating to find myself completely isolated from help with these problems. Much of the onus is on myself to attempt to articulate exactly how I feel but when there is nobody willing or able to offer help based on those feelings it's like shouting at a brick wall. Some days I feel like I am losing my mind, other days I feel that I am the only lucid person in a world of the willfully self-deluded. What am I supposed to do? Any employment I've had doesn't work out. I stopped looking for work after almost a year of hearing nothing back from applications. I went back to study at university. That has been a struggle as well. I've just received a notice stating that I am probably having my enrollment withdrawn. I tried to help a friend part-way through the year and it set me back in my work. This sent me spiraling into deep depression and anxiety. Something always happens. I missed classes and hoped to retake them but now apparently my GPA is low enough to have my enrollment withdrawn. Anything I try to do fails. My depression and anxiety has and is completely destroying my life. I've pushed anything I care about or that cares about me away because I know I will lose it. I can barely manage to look after myself. I have no idea where to turn to or what to do.

Feeling lost and overwhelmed

replies: 3

Hi all I'm new to BeyondBlue, but not new to depression and anxiety. I am 23 years old, and was diagnosed with depression and generalised anxiety disorder when I was about 16. I've been on and off treatments since then, I've undergone psychology and therapy, CBT training, etc Recently, I was also diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, and I've been quite sick with this for the last few months. Things are slowly improving physically, but my mental health has taken a hit. I have missed a lot of work (I work full time in government administration), and the attitude from my colleages has turned rather nasty. I can't pinpoint many specific incidences, but I've been receiving a lot of snarky, cruel comments disguised as something innocent. I've started hating going to work. I don't want to be there, and no one else wants me there either. I approached management to ask for a temporary reduction of hours until I get my health under control, and this was refused. My manager has suggested I resign and find a different job. I want to return to study, but it won't be for another 5 months or so, and I don't know if I can last that long at this job, with the toll it's taking on my mental state. I want to cry all the time, I feel worthless, and so unfulfilled at this job. My partner has been great, but he just doesn't really seem to understand exactly how I'm feeling, and I just don't know what to do anymore.

Hello

replies: 2

I am very new to Beyond Blue but not to depression and anxiety. I have reached a point where I am searching for support and answers and a place where I can feel safe and not judged. I have a very long story and I don't feel comfortable sharing as its so humiliating and has resulted in me losing so much - most of all my mental health. I'm really interested in finding out more about medications and peoples experiences. I have had a terrible experience many years ago where I became suicidal on medication and I was so agitated all I could do was pace and pant and spent hours putting my head under the cold water tap as I felt I was burning. I have now been advised that I need medication to help me get through as I have been off work for 1 year with anxiety and depression but I just cant do it as I am terrified I will have another horrible experience. Can I be forced to take medication? Do I have rights to decide what goes into my body? Am I seen to be difficult by refusing? I am not hurting anyone, I am not suicidal just depressed and anxious. I attend regular Psychologist appointments and have homework from the psychologist and meditation and yoga that I also commit to to help with my symptoms.Unfortunately it is a long slow process and there are times that I go backwards as well.Has anyone on here recovered without medications? Thank you for accepting me to your Forum.

Dealing with everyday life as a teen

replies: 1

Heyy, so lately I’ve been finding it really hard to do simple things like walk around school by myself or just standing around people. I get really self conscious and anxious. Any tips on how to help??

Law and mental health

replies: 2

I wonder if anyone has/had this problem: I work in public service, when I was sick a conversation with a boss on the phone made me upset I sent extremely rude emails to that boss with copies to other bosses and to the media bad mouthing the company. ... View more

Do I stay or leave my husband?

replies: 4

Long time supporter first time poster My partner and I have a retail business together. Its tough and we are barely hanging in...skin of our teeth Our relationship has always been rocky/patchy and it's now virtually non existent. We dont live together on a daily basis as we have a small aptmt in town and a property ( that we have just sold)outside of town, He lives there( will never stay at the flat) and Im at the flat with our daughter during the week...I dont want to go to the property anymore..but we have dogs that I miss terribly We work together so we see each other every other day. Sex is off the agenda..without intimacy I cant go there He's stressed beyond belief re the business and also has some hearing loss in one ear so is becoming extremely anti social. We have no mutual friendship groups anymore ( Im from another state and he is from UK) and nobody invites us to anything now because he never goes..always just me. I still feel for him but I dont want to stay and be miserable so he isnt? Confused about my feelings..I wanted to leave him 15 yrs ago and noting has changed. He is a highly intelligent, difficult, controlling man and very uncommunicative. He used to drink a lot and would become aggressive..that has toned down but he's still very difficult to live with. I thought having the business together may fix things..they did for a bit but I need company and communication otherwise I get disconnected and look elsewhere Not an affair but have been chatting to men online..just chit chat stuff. Dont want a romance just conversation. Its kept my spirits up and off the business We are also financially stuffed ( technical term) courtesy of the business now and I cant see any bright light .. on the verge of running away Im so unhappy..and I'm a very happy person but not anymore. He's not talking and neither am I as its all very raw, ugh..find myself blubbing at the drop of a hat now.

Meet your community champions! replies: 12

HELP..Am I posting in the right section? replies: 10

Panic attack? in front of my boss, where to from here?? replies: 4

It’s good to be here... replies: 6

Completely worthless and invisible replies: 3

Desperate for help with husbands porn addiction - and maybe worse replies: 3

Untitled replies: 4

Feeling lost and overwhelmed replies: 3

Hello replies: 2

Dealing with everyday life as a teen replies: 1

Law and mental health replies: 2

Do I stay or leave my husband? replies: 4