Anxiety keeps following me

[Damo C]

Hi All!

I have come to the realisation just this week that for my entire life, I have been living with varying degrees of anxiety and rarely depression. I'm a 45 year old happily married man with a 9 year old son, a 20 year old stepson and a beautiful home. I had 2 major anxiety attacks just over 2 years ago both of which were bought on by work stress so I eventually left that job. Since then, I've noticed that certain situations or even some thoughts will give me mild anxiety more so than it would have before 2 years ago. After reading up on anxiety and taking the online anxiety test on this website, it's become apparent that this is just how I'm wired and I accept that. Of course, I don't like it but things could be far worse! I have an incredibly supportive and strong wife who's been through it herself but it was situational due to workplace bullying and has been dealt with and is no longer an issue.

My problem now is that my current employer is threatening our sales team with the possibility of half of us losing our jobs at Christmas. We've exceeded sales targets this year and he's overspent resulting in us possibly being unemployed very soon. This not very subtle announcement last Wednesday has had me experiencing a heart rate of over 100 bpm, shaking, shortness of breath and constant worry about losing my job and not even wanting to walk in there ever again. With a mortgage, this is not an option. I've made an appointment with my GP tomorrow and I'm taking the whole day off as a Mental Health Day.... as soon as I post this, I'm calling Beyond Blue for the first time in my life. Thanks for reading....I'll keep you posted!

Cheers 🙂

[baet123]

Hi Damo,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for posting and sharing your situation with us. Really brave of you.

Sorry to hear that you have been struggling for a while but I believe it is encouraging that you are super aware of your emotions and condition.

You say that you are wired that way in terms of your anxiety. Why is that? Is that based on a few online tests? Have you received professional help for anxiety? GP or psychologist etc? I think if you have not already please try a prolonged period of regular appointments with a psychologist where you will explore different therapy/intervention methods including cbt, dbt, group therapy, exposure therapy techniques etc.

It is amazing that your wife is so supportive. That is excellent.

Also, I know that we all need money to live, however, it is not worth sacrificing your happiness and emotional well-being just for your job.

Hope to hear from you again and see you on the forums.

Have a great week.

Nick.

[Damo C]

Hi Nick, thanks for your kind and supportive words. What I mean when I say I'm wired this way is that from early childhood I've been anxious about anything and everything. I over think and over analyze everything. There are constant verbal scenarios playing out in my mind about conversations that I think my employer might have with me for example. I thought this was normal. I also thought it was normal to worry if I would make it to work on time. When I make a trip to Bunnings, I stress about traffic that might be on the way and if I'll be able to find a good place to park! I'm sure now that none of this stuff plays on everyone else's minds 24 7? I have been to a psychologist and had a few sessions which was a hood temporary fix. This is not something that I can afford on a long term basis though.

On a side note, I quit smoking just over 8 years ago with the aid of Champix. Both my wife and I noticed that during the course of this which is about 2 months, I did not experience anxiety. My wife said that I was amazingly calm and clear during that time and I have to agree with her! I have read of similar stories on Quit smoking forums both here and overseas. Perhaps medication is the answer?

Cheers, Damo.

[baet123]

Hi Damo,

Thanks for replying mate. To be honest mate, I still over analyse everything and that isn't always a bad thing! I also worry about being late to work. That shows that you care and that is extremely positive and important. Yes, it does not matter in the grand scheme of things but it shows you have good priorities. Believe me, what your experiencing is normal it just isn't talked about often.

Treatment and seeing psychologists consistently to monitor your health is beneficial and your right, it is expensive. However, there are many free counselling/therapy services available which is something your should look into. Not being able to afford it should not get in the way of you improving your condition.

Medication worked for me, so why not for you also? Medication is super important for many living with a mental health condition as chemical imbalances are certainly real and having the proper chemical balance is important. Please consult your GP and medication may benefit you greatly.

Please keep us posted and have a great week.

All the best,

Nick.

[Damo C]

Hey Nick,

Since my last post and since speaking to Pam at Beyond Blue I have made significant progress! I saw my GP, and he prescribed medication. I've taken one medication before on occasions but the other medication that is long term is new for me. I have also left my job to start a new one tomorrow!! I have not yet started taking medication yet as many of the reviews I've read say that anxiety can increase it in the 1st few weeks which may not be ideal in a new job! Looking forward to the future more than ever before.

[baet123]

Hey Damo,

Great to hear back from you.

That is amazing that you are making significant progress. This is wonderful and some great news to start the week off right! Congratulations on starting your new job. That is amazing and hopefully this new job is the beginning of something bigger and better!

Medication can have side effects, however, in most cases the benefits far outweigh the negatives, if any.

It is so great that you feel confident and are looking forward to your future which is indeed very bright. The best is yet to come.

So happy to hear you are doing well but it is important to understand that its likely that there will be ups and downs on this journey so you must stay grounded and expect that these troughs are just part of the process.

Have a great week and let us know how your new job goes!

All the best,

Nick.

[Damo C]

Hi All,

Nearly 3 weeks into long term meds and I've never felt more relaxed, clear-headed and focused. My wife has noticed that I'm so much calmer and not irritable. Very minimal side effects thankfully. I am far more productive at home and work and I will be forever grateful to Beyond Blue, my GP and most importantly my amazingly supportive wife and family. I know I still have a little way to go and I'll continue to monitor my progress. There is light at the end of the tunnel and to anyone suffering anxiety or depression, I urge you to take that first and possibly most difficult step by simply talking to Beyond Blue or your GP, the rest of the journey will be well worth the effort. The first few steps can be difficult but absolutely worth your long term health and ultimately happiness.

Thanks,

Damo. xxx

[baet123]

Hey Damo,

I am so happy to read what you have posted and this has put a big smile on my face and the early signs are super encouraging and this is amazing.

It is awesome that the medication is beneficial to your condition even after three weeks. It is excellent that your mood is improving and that your family members are noticing the positive change also.

It seems like your on the right path and the best is yet to come. There may very well be ups and downs ahead and you may feel that at times the medication isn't as effective as it has been and the like, however, it is important to stick with your medication as prolonged and sustained periods of medication and/or therapy is generally best practice. Please let your health professionals know as soon as you are feeling any negative effects/symptoms.

Please keep us informed and I am so glad that things are finally looking up and I wish you continued improvement and success.

Your words of encouragement are so inspiring and where you are at now and the success and positive outcomes that you will enjoy moving forward is a testimony to your character and you as a person.

Well done Damo.

Keep up the good work mate.

Nick.

[Damo C]

Hi Nick,

Thanks for the encouragement, I will indeed keep you updated!

Cheers,

Damo.

[baet123]

Hey Damo,

Looking forward to hearing about your progression.

Remember, its super important to make sure we balance out our highs and our lows. We want to ensure that our highs aren't to high so that when we experience some lows, we don't fall to hard you know? Your attitude is great and I have no doubt that your expectations are realistic but that is something to consider.

Nick.