Feel completely overwhelmed
I have just joined the forums. My short story is: I have been through an immense amount of change in the past few months and and feeling completely overwhelmed, and have developed what I feel is some quite severe depression.
My wife and I made the decision to separate about 8 months ago but it was only two months ago that she moved out. About the time that we decided to separate I had a car accident and the combination of that and the separation led to me deciding to resign from my job where I had been for ten years. Whilst I have been doing some contract work in the past couple of months it hasn’t been the most stable situation and I have been having to work by myself a lot.
I am still living in our family home (where we’ve been for more than ten years) although have sold it and will be moving out in about a month.
Our separation was quite amicable but our three kids are doing it bit tough as well.
I start a new role in a couple of months but am feeling very anxious about it and am not at all confident I will be able to be successful. And am very worried about what I’ll do if that doesn’t work out.
So I have a great deal of time by myself, caught up inside my head, and am having a lot of very negative thoughts. Guilt, lack of self confidence, worry about the future, worry about financial security are all at play. I am noticing many depressive symptoms including low energy, poor sleep, lack of appetite, low motivation, inability to make decisions amongst others.
At times it is all feeling so incredibly overwhelming.
It is good to be able to write all this down and from the little I have seen there are some wonderful supportive people on these forums so thank you for reading and I hope to be able to do what I can to contribute to others’ situations too.
Thanks Frank. I am equally impressed by how you seem to be moving things forward. The financial separation is one of the hardest parts of the whole thing so well done on focussing on getting through that.
Agree on asserting your rights but my advice is not to keep the focus on the big rocks not the small ones. Don’t cause yourself unnecessary pain over something that in a few years’ time won’t matter to you.
Tough times but getting through them will make us stronger. I am hopeful that this will arm us well for whatever else the universe throws at us!!
That is quite a concept to look 2 years ahead and imagine where we will be at.
I hope both of us gain muscle or toughness during this period of our lives. A little planning and taking a day at a time is where I'm at. I've lost focus on the business at the moment so I need to rein it back in. Time to knuckle down and go hard.
You are both doing really well through an incredibly challenging and stressful time.
I wanted to thank you blueguy for what you said about not getting too worked up about something if it won't matter in a couple of years time. That helped me get something in perspective that has been bothering me lately, so thanks.
I hope your cleanup with the kids felt good on the weekend.
Frank, I think it's pretty natural for your your focus to not be 100% on the business at the moment. You are going through a seriously stressful time. I can understand how it could help you to focus on it, as a good and productive distraction from the stress of the separation, but please give yourself some leeway and don't be too hard on yourself.
You are both going through things that will strengthen you and give you resilience for the future.
Better times are ahead for you both, and you will get there one day at a time.
Thanks once again Birdy.
over the past week I feel like things have been trending in the right direction.
Am moving on Wednesday which feels really good.
Start my my new job in just over two weeks. Nervous but overall it will be a net positive.
Thank you again to you and Frank for your support. Knowing that people care makes it easier to get through the tough days.
I'm also feeling more optimistic over the last week.
Going on overseas next month for a holiday where I know getting away will help me.
When I come back I will be working hard to earn money and becoming the person I am meant to be.
I'm ready. I am thinking of you Blueguy and sending you lots of energy too.
Great to hear Frank. Getting away to a different location, at least for a while, will make a big difference, I am sure. And when you get back I’m sure you’ll be ready to take on the challenges of your business.
I moved three days ago and feel a lot better already. The new location, and having a lot to do there, gives me much more to focus on.
Wishing you a great holiday and continued lifting of your spirits.
Thanks, I remind myself often, what I focus on, I feel.
So I focus a lot more every day on the good stuff. It has changed my outlook by a huge amount. The shitty stuff needs to be put into context because the good stuff is there too and I need to appreciate it more.
The holiday will be a good break and then most of the time can be spent correcting, bit by bit the shitty stuff.
I'm hoping the new location gives you a lot more, in lots of ways.
Hi Frank and Birdy.
Just wanted to let you know that I started my new role this week. The combination of moving house and the new role has made a huge difference. I am feeling a great deal better than I was.
once again I really appreciate all your support over recent weeks. It has without doubt been the toughest time of my life and the support I have received from a range of people, including yourselves has helped make it manageable.
I am so pleased to hear that you are feeling in a better space blueguy, it's so good to hear that the new place and the new role are helping in the moving forward for you.
Frank, I hope your holiday is going well and that things are starting to settle for you in some ways.
Thanks so much for checking back in blueguy, and giving such a positive update.
Sending good vibes your way,