Hello Becccak95 and welcome to Beyond Blue forums
It's good you have reached out to our caring and supporting community. You are sounding very down at the moment and you are obviously needing assistance.
My heart goes out to you. It must be very difficult to try and manage your depression when you have a 2 year old.
So I can help support you in the best possible way, you'll find I ask questions as I go through. I'm not a health professional, though I have my own experience with anxiety, depression and PTSD that may help.
Who do you have to talk to about how you're feeling? For example, a close family member or trusted friend? I always find talking helps me significantly to start to get out of my head and to look at what's causing the depression.
Do you have a doctor and health professional (e.g. counsellor or psychologist) that you see on a regular basis? For me, this is essential, they are my life force to keep me balanced and on track, especially when I'm drifting off the rails a little. I also take anti-depressants which has helped me maintain a balanced life.
Have you every written in a journal about how you're feeling? I've done this for years. For me, it has 2 purposes, to get out of my head what's spinning around in there (especially when there's been no one around to talk to) and to look back on how I was in the past. I looked for patterns, triggers, improvements, spirals to help me manage myself. Must confess haven't need to write in the journal for a couple of years now. Progress!
Have you every tried distraction as a technique for moving you on? For instance, I go down into the yard feeling down, then look at my veggies growing and start to do some weeding, tying up of vines, picking veggies, watching the birds, butterflies and bees. Next I find my spirits have lifted. I do the same with cooking - funny that all about food.
There are a number of threads in the Depression forum that you might find useful. One especially - Depression - Fight it or Embrace it.
If you want to share more of your story, please keep reaching out here. You're not alone Becccak.
Kind regards
PamelaR
