Welcome and Orientation

Pinned discussions

Meet your community champions!

replies: 10

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

HELP..Am I posting in the right section?

replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

All discussions

Sorted by:

Start a discussion

Not coping

replies: 9

I found this forum in the wee hrs of the morning. Yet another night of little sleep. The bad back, and just to make my life hell, bronchitis! My reserves are rock bottom. I think writing my feelings down will help a little. The few friends who I talk to get positively sick of me complaining. And the counsellor seen monthly is trying. My husband is suffering from depression. This latest episode has been ongoing since the new year. We moved into a new (very old) house in the country, just before Xmas. The plan was to renovate. That’s now not happening. He doesn’t want to, & I cannot do it on my own. I have run out of energy. To add to the pain. The house is really old. So absolutely freezing now. Poor (very expensive) heating. And wet, damp, miserable. I pushed him to see his psychiatrist, so medication was started again, (self medicates regularly which drives me mad). That has kicked in, so he is told by his psychiatrist, who he gets to see every 6 weeks. I go to work to pay for this. I’m on a mental health plan to see a psychologist because we have very little money. He sleeps in late. I can’t sleep. He might watch a movie, play card games on his phone, and I work. He might do something else for an hour or so, IF I tell/ask him. Exersice? Only if I initiate it. Outings? A few, if I organise them. Shower? Only if I insist. I am absolutely at rock bottom. I feel like I’m living with a baby/lazy teenager. I’ve read heaps about how to live with a partner who is depressed. The info always assumes the supportive partner is just that. Loving, caring, kind, tolerant, forgiving. I am none of these. Today, I hate my husband. Yesterday, I hated him also. I am turning into an angry, bitter awful person. And I’m lying in bed with a heat bag on my bad back, dressing gown on, wheezing and coughing, and I have to go to work today. An hr drive there and another back, my shift is 1-9. I feel like I’m trapped in a living hell. Just re reading this post, and now I’m crying to boot!

Hi guys.

replies: 4

Hi all. Thanks for reading. I dont really know where to start. I'm just beginning to realise that ive been struggling with mental health for most of my life. I'm now 36 years old. For the most part it's level and can cope with the issues, but have deep dark lows. "This is normal" I keep telling myself, but am beginning to realise it may not be. Essentially, I have two incredible kids and a partner. We bought a rural property 18 months ago that should have made finances easier and simpler. Financial woes have rolled in where I had to sideline my business to earn income elsewhere, while she tends to the school aged kids. I was high achieving in my business and well regarded. Havnt had a single break in 18 months. Every project ends in failure and costs us more money we really cant afford. It's not due to incompetance either, but bad luck and circumstance. I've taken a job that barely pays the bills but is slowly sucking the life from me. I work while my partner spends time with the kids and takes them on school holiday trips. I've begun hating on life and been mean to everyone I come across. I get up early 4:30am to get to work, then work late in my business to try and kick start it back up again. At my day job, I dont have the tolerance to sustain workplace relationships. I just think, "stuff them". I barely have the energy to speak, let alone operate. The last 6 months have been like a death bell though. I've never been this low, and struggle to see the light at the end. I've taken several of the steps- Good diet, exercise and social groups. Trying to focus on the positive. It all seems to just fall aside when the dog comes growling. I'm literally exhausted and wake thinking "Just end this". I have zero thoughts of self harm, or harm to those around me. It's not my thing. This evening my partner asked "Is there a reason you aren't speaking to me? I realised I hadnt acknowledged her for a few days. All I could reply was "I feel like dirt and dont feel like speaking with anybody". I just feel like worthless scum and struggle with finding the point to it all. Is this something any of you have dealt with and what are some ideas to overcome? I realise this is situational, but it presents often, so I really need some methods of coping.

First post

replies: 4

Hi, this is my first post. In the last couple of years, I've been asked by some people whether or not I'm suffering from depression. I had a job interview last month and the guy asked me if I had depression as he was used to noticing it in other people. I don't feel that I have depression but maybe I do, I haven't worked in a salaried position for more than 3 months in the last few years and it could be the reason. What I'm wanting to know is if anyone has found part-time work in this forum. I'm not looking for networking leads but rather an employer who could empathise with my current situation.

depression

replies: 2

I'm seeking a little bit of help, I'm suffering from depression, I have a almost 2 year old daughter, me and her father Are taking break , so I can get the help I need for my depression, I feel lost, confused and don't know what to do?

Fight or flight response?

replies: 2

Ok here goes... Last year was not great. I lost my grandfather unexpectedly during my first week of semester. On April fools day I lost my cat Darcy who was kind of like my child. Then 12 days later I had to put down my childhood pet and best friend of 10 years, Tillie, due to cancer. I know it is silly to feel this much for pets but I didn't eat properly for weeks. I didn't sleep. When I did sleep, it was often broken and I would wake up with the shakes. The shaking was especially bad if I woke up suddenly. I was angry for a long time and named it 'my dark place'. I also have had horrendous digestive issues that have only added to my anxiety. My Mum brought home two kittens and I was determined they weren't going outside. I didn't want to find them by the side of the road one morning. One of them got out one night and I was a nervous wreck. I didn't sleep. When we found her, I wept in my mum's arms for a long because I thought I'd lost her. I didn't want to be alone again I've fiercely protective of my pets. I know people may get angry for comparing children to pets but my pets are like my fur babies and I'm totally ok with it. One of the cats had a dirty butt and Mum was trying to clean it. I was going over to help. I thought she was hurting him and kept asking (and yelled) for her to let him go. I thought she was hurting him. I'm not sure what happen after that exactly. I thought I just moved to try and grab him. But all I recall is her storming off yelling to "never raise your hand to me again". I don't remember hitting her or pushing her. I just thought he was hurt and I had to get him away from the threat. I just didn't want him to be in pain. The language my family has used 'strike', 'raise your hand', ' scares me. I would never hurt anyone and I'm scared that I don't remember. I probably ruined the relationship with my Mum. I don't want to be at home because I don't want them near me. Why would they want to be near me? I can't even stand me. I have nothing to say because there are no words. What do I say? Sorry will never be enough. I don't know who I am anymore.

Personal love issues

replies: 1

G'day, I am just going to throw it out there i have been married for 26 years and am only 46 years old and young at heart. I use to struggle to keep up with my wife sexually, but then she cheated on me then me on her some 7 years ago once only and both came true. However the last few years she shows little intimacy while I have tried ot persisted to get responses. The rejection has eventually started to ware me Down, I know treat her the same as she treats me. Due to the years of rejection etc I am struggling or even finding it impossible to re-ignite her interest in me. I am thinking this is not healthy, I have started drinking and smoking to much and I wonder if it is just better to end it? Really don't want to

New to this and new support

replies: 9

Hi everyone new to this, after some help and support of people dealing with anxiety and depression. I have times through the month that I really struggle with everything and feeling very low. I am married, two kids and working full time. I believe it... View more

I’m just tired of being tired

replies: 2

I recently got a new house, new job, amazing boyfriend you would think I would be the happiest person but instead I’m having these awful days more and more now i just cry and cry, I take it out on my partner who does nothing but try look after me I feel worthless, I don’t want to look in the mirror ever anymore because I hate everything that I see even though I’m continuously losing weight, I haven’t had sex in weeks because I don’t want to get undressed and I feel disgusting and have no want to I am always so exhustaed and just want bed, even though I already sleep 9 hours a night I can’t talk to anyone because I’ve never been able to communicate verbally ever about any of my problems no matter how much I’m struggling I can’t I don’t have many friends anymore and the few I do I just can’t ever find the energy or want to see them I get home from work and just want to be alone and not near my boyfriend which kills me because what kind of a girlfriend would rather be alone then with the one she loves. i don’t want to be sad anymore. i want to be who I once was. “I want my Happy e back” my boyfriend says it makes me cry even more because I don’t know where she has gone

New & Struggling

replies: 9

Hi and thank-you for having me here. Over the last 3-4 months my wife and I have been having problems, we've never really been able to communicate effectively and have often crossed messages. We have been together almost 13 years and married for 5.5. She admitted she went down a road over the last few months she wasn't aware she was going down. We have become more distant, most likely as a result of my work as I am essentially a self-employed FIFO. She gave me a very small opportunity to make a change and choose her that I missed,whilst at the same time not listening to what I needed. I was the constant voice of expressing my love and affection, but also the voice that at the time I couldn't remove myself from the situation of being a FIFO for financial reasons for us. I didn't and don't enjoy it, being the unhappiest and unhealthiest I have ever been, but I was prepared to sacrifice for us. We also purchased a business 6 months ago which was our dream, me being the sole operator and she having her own profession. She requested space, so I have moved out on Saturday, but now she tells me it is a separation leading to divorce. I didn't stand a chance, she wouldn't communicate with me nor entertain couples counselling. She maintains to live where we were, with very little change to her life (she has become used to being alone with my work & she assures me there is no one else in the picture), with our limited support network as we moved from interstate. My support network is extremely limited as I haven't had a chance to find a group of friends due to constant travel, have to deal with 2 businesses in different states. I am extremely lost, emotionally, my anxiety is peaking like it never has before. I feel ashamed that I couldn't make my marriage work, that I will become a statistic. I feel rejected, worthless, lost. As this is only a few days old the pain is extremely real and fresh. I feel I don't belong anywhere and have no home, as my wife was the beacon I always was heading for. My wife has said there is no chance of reconciliation. I saw the psych yesterday who basically said it was over and to move on. I can't accept that and have been distraught. I am worthy of love, and our relationship is worth fighting for. Do I give her space and try to move forward and establish a 'new' relationship in the future. We to now for me? Exhausted and not sleeping and eating very little. Great family support but 1000's kms away. Possibly will see a GP SleepDeprived

just no my usual happy bloke

replies: 4

Hi all, its been a long time build up i suspect, never would I have thought that one day it would all seem like it is piling up on me. So, i am a 36yo husband and dad with two kids, one boy 5, one bubba girl just turned 1. I work in a professional role in the transport industry, i dont work massive hours, i wouldnt say my job is stressful, it has its days, but nowhere what it used to be in my younger years in my career. I have been married since 2010 and with my wife since 2005-2006. Mum died of a terminal illness in April this year which shattered by dads and our familys life and ive certainly had better days. I am a big fan of camping and 4x4s, and long to spend money on my ute, but never get around to being able to budget for even the little things. Last night driving home from grabbing takeway in readiness to watch the state of origin, i suddenly broke down, and it was from one simple thought. It seems like nothing can make me happy anymore. BOOM, it cut through me harder than when Mum died. Even though my boy rode his bike without training wheels over the weekend and had his first big stack, my daughter crawling, saying Dadda, or my wife mentioning we should do a beach trip. Ive had drams with my wife over the years, i snap more frequently, i have a low tolerance level to naughty behaviour by my son, i feel like debts are overcoming me, i feel i drift around most days without concentrating 100% of the time. It just feels like there is just a need to wake up, live and go to sleep, with little details or excitement. I get severe back and neck pains for no reason now and then, i lack motivation because i am driven by money or the lack thereof to actually do nice things. I dont want to overload my dad as he is dealing with his own emotions and counselling after mum died, and my wife has her own anxiety matters she is dealing with, it just seems there is no reason but other than to basically exist. I have lost interest in my work, i am constantly on seek looking for jobs and i struggle to stay on point what i need to get done . But some days i can really motivate. I seem to be addicted to social media wanting what others have that i dont, i watch hours of you tube before bed, i am envious of the life that was before family life, which really guts me to say and think that. Do i sound like a prime candidate for help?? It makes me laugh to think i am the one who is normally the strong and optimistic type, but it just feels i am stuck in reverse gear. #lifesux

Meet your community champions! replies: 10

HELP..Am I posting in the right section? replies: 10

Not coping replies: 9

Hi guys. replies: 4

First post replies: 4

depression replies: 2

Fight or flight response? replies: 2

Personal love issues replies: 1

New to this and new support replies: 9

I’m just tired of being tired replies: 2

New & Struggling replies: 9

just no my usual happy bloke replies: 4