Dear BM 123
Welcome to the forum. It's good to meet you.
Relationships and dating can be tricky. Is this a casual friendship, does like me, do I like him, where is it going? Plus many more questions and we send different signals to each other with the end result of being more confused. So I cannot tell you what he thinks or wants to do. It's really hard when you start to care for someone and do not know if the other cares for you in the same way. I think we could make a fortune if we could answer that and be right all the time.
He is starting a new job in a few weeks you said, so maybe this will tell you if he is really interested in you. You will not see each other at work and must rely on each other to keep in contact and see if the romance blossoms. I have to say I find it odd that he has this on again/off again attitude towards you. It could be the demands of the job but it has been my experience that we can always find time to do those things we want to do.
I think this will be a waiting game unless you are going to ask him where this romance is leading. February to July is seven months so I would expect him to have some idea of where you two are going. I think you are the only person who can work out this dilemma.
One thing I do suggest is that you listen to your body. Our bodies usually know the truth of a situation and if we listen we will know what our instinct is saying. Stay or go, which one? May I suggest you wait until he finishes working in the same place as you and starts in his new job. If he does decide he wants a single life for the time being you will find it less painful than if you were still working together.
If I may suggest, do nothing until he starts in his new job and see what happens. If he really wants to pursue the relationship he will keep in contact. If he wants the on/off deal I think it reasonable to ask what he wants to do. Sometime walking away is the best option.
I hope I have clarified a couple of things but the reality is you are happy to continue dating while seems to prefer a much looser arrangement. Is this going to make you happy not knowing when he is taking time off? Would this be the pattern if you continued seeing him?
You said, I told him that's exactly what I want - someone to share my life with not just a fling. Is he able to make that attempt even though it may not get to this? Many romances start off well but trickle away after a while, something we all need to accept.
Mary
