Welcome and Orientation

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Meet your community champions!

replies: 10

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

HELP..Am I posting in the right section?

replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

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Just a question

replies: 5

I’m new here. I’m 53 and my sister passed away three months ago unexpectedly. She was 54 and my best friend. since then I have had pain almost daily. Chest pain mainly but originally all sorts of pain. I still get the odd arm pain, abdominal pain and head pains. I have had numerous tests on my heart and they say physically I’m fine. I have developed a fear of dying or someone in our family dying. It’s not so much the death but the fear of the pain caused to those left behind. I am seeing my GP and have had two sessions with my psychologist so far. I accept my diagnosis of anxiety and depression and I accept that I’m angry. I am doing everything I’ve been asked to do ie meditation and breathing and keeping a journal of how I feel and writing something positive that I’m thankful for daily. Nights are worse when the fear comes and when I’m alone. I’m not the person I was and all I want to do is grieve and cry without pain. When I cry the pain is worse and then the palpitations come. Since this happened I have had two days of no pain. My question is when will this physical pain leave me? I feel I can deal with the rest in time, but I don’t just hurt physically, it still scares me. I try not to monitor it as I’ve been told but sometimes I am not good at it. I’m just so sad.

Surviving narcissism

replies: 13

Greeting to all I firstly want to say hi to everyone and great to be a part of this online community. I hope it allows me to heal from the suffering that has been happening to me. I recently found out that i have been the victim of a narcissist. It is my older brother. He has actively been trying to destroy me and everything i stand for. Doing his best to get me divorced, make me lose my job, control my life in every possible way. He also caused problems between me and my parents, my siblings and my friends. This is over an 8 year period. Over this time period everyone around me started to disappear. First it was my friends that i lost. Then my siblings. Then my parents also alienated me. Although we were pushed right to the edge and our marriage was on the rocks, thankfully he wasn't able to get me divorced. I just hope noone feels the pain and suffering that i do. I have started to fix the relationships that were shattered as a result but it will take time. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to cope post-narcissistic abuse? Any help will be much appreciated. Thank you

Direction

replies: 9

Hi all im new to this and don't know where to start

Hi there! Just a guy who struggles with performing and needing validation

replies: 10

Hey guys! I'm really new here and just wanted to say hello! Everyone seems so lovely and I'm really happy to be here and connect with everyone! I have anxiety, mild intrusive thoughts and I also have quite a problem with wanting validation from other people. I tend to get anxiety everyday and it can be about almost anything; it could be me catastrophizing that I'm gonna lose my hearing because my music's playing too loud (even though the volume is nowhere near dangerous), worrying that I'm gonna get skin cancer because I forgot to put on sunscreen that morning, worrying about whether I truly enjoyed the activities I participated in throughout the day etc. Sometimes the anxiety can result in mild tingling in my feet and body in general and it can make my heart race mildly. I mostly just try to ignore that anxiety and not let it have any power over me, but I find that when I try to talk back to it I just make it worse but I've given it the attention that it craves. I've had some problems in the past with intrusive thoughts of a mostly sexual nature, but thankfully I've suppressed them so far and I've had minor flare-ups but that's it so I'm happy about that! I'm mainly struggling with this validation problem. Since I've been young I've been into musical theatre and I think this is where it all started. I think I taught myself (through my love of performing) that performing and 'acting' will help me with making friends and getting validation from people. And now, a few years later, I feel like most of the things I do and say are motivated by the thought that I might be validated by someone else. I often laugh even when a joke's not funny or when I normally wouldn't because I've been told many times throughout my life that my laugh's great, and therefore I do it almost subconsciously to make people happy. I've also retained my love of performing, but sometimes instead of performing for my own enjoyment, I become sucked in by the thought of an audience and receiving validation from them, making me feel empty because I'm not doing it for myself anymore. When it gets too much, I often cope through binge eating and eating large amounts of junk food, which I'm slowly trying to curb because it's simply unhealthy and unproductive. I've made a habit of journalling which has been really effective for me, and I'm planning to start thought tracking. Was just wondering who else has experienced this and if anyone has any advice or coping methods that they've used?

My Story and toxic shame

replies: 2

Hi Everyone I am a bit nervous about posting for the first time. That it is out there, forever, may be used by BB. I know it is also time to put my story out there. Get past the fear roadblocks. I have suffered from depression and anxiety since I started menstruating aged 14, I am now 50. I put the pieces together over the years when I had moments of reprieve that whatever I was feeling was linked to my massively unbalanced hormones, getting help for this was another thing. Traditional medicine until recently couldn't help me couldn't so I turned to alternative therapies. I still practice meditation and exercise as much as possible for someone who works full time, is a single mother to a 9 year old. This helps with my anxiety. It does not really help when I am in the depths of despair. When everything hurts. Getting out of bed is hard work. Simple tasks feels like my head will implode with the pressure. I want to cry all the time. I am terrified someone at work will notice. I have used work to focus on something other than this overwhelming feeling of despair. Once I am in the despair what is also obvious to me is that I am a complete failure. I cry as I write this. This is all my fault. I am ashamed that I cannot control this. I am ashamed that at many times in my life I have not been able to work. I am ashamed that I find myself at the age of 50 still renting and having to subject myself to the pain of people inspecting my toilet and oven and walking into my bedroom, my private space. invaded. I am ashamed that no one but my son was at my 50 birthday I did not have a party. There were only two other people to invite and they did not come. I don't have family members I can get emotional support from. I did not tell anyone at my workplace. I am ashamed that at the age of 50 I am more isolated than ever. This shame I still carry it is a bit quieter, not so visible when I am not in the pit, yet it is still there. Hovering just above my shoulders. Can anyone tell me how do I get rid of this shame that clings to me? In the past year the thing that has turned it around for me has been finding a doctor who specialises in hormones and uses a mixture of bio-dentical hormones and herbs to treat me. This is a revelation to me. I have felt better than I ever have. I had a reprieve. intense depression came back in waves.

tired, sad, tense and anxious

replies: 2

I feel tired, sad, tense and anxious all the time. My body and mind is exhausted and I feel like I’m alone. My mum knows about this but doesn’t understand it. I know it’s affecting her too, but she acts in a way that makes me believe that I’m a burden on her and the reason she wants me to get better; is for her benefit- to make things easier for her. She threatens to move me from my school to another, and has told me that she thinks I need to go to rehabilitation. It hurts me a lot, because I don’t want to let her down but I know that I am. I don’t have a lot of friends either. I have trouble opening up to them and I don’t scthally speak to them that much. Additionally, someone who I have feelings for has asked me out which is great, but I’m really scared to see him because again, I feel like I’m going to disappoint him. This is the first time I’ve reached out since I started feeling this way, which was a couple years ago. I really don’t want to be sad anymore.

Inability to fight depression while life keeps sending bad things to me

replies: 1

I'm 17 yo and throughout the last year I was going through depression because a lot of bad things happened and I could not handle those things emotionally in a good way. My parents and I have been going through a lot lately and I really have been trying for the past 7 to 8 months. I've gone through up and downs very often and that is really really tiring me and exhausting me. Recently a really sad thing happen again while I was thinking that things were getting better: my long time best friend which I've been friend with for the past 13 years I decided to start acting in such a way so that the relationship would Fade Away slowly. Furthermore he decided to join my group of friends which I'm really glad about but throughout two or three months he started to turn the friends against me and he just turn into a enemy. Recently he told my parents about things that I've done that are not fully true and he's saying those things to my friends as well so it's hard for me to make everybody believe me and not look like I'm the one that's lying and I confronted him but he does not apologize neither except that he's the one line. He's acting as if I was the one that is acting bad and said that I've changed and also to stuff that makes me confused. This would not usually be a problem because from my depression I've learnt a lot of things such as the difference between a real friends and fake ones so I will just normally call him off but since we've been friends for so long I was the one to make him meet all my friends today he would have a group is well and all of this turned around throughout the period of 6 months meanwhile I was feeling really bad because of my family situation so now I find myself shortly with my family with my friends because I don't like them much anymore since they don't believe me fully. Plus now he and his family don't want to have anything to do with mine anymore because of the way things have gone but he's in my group of friends so we will have to see each other and that really stresses me because I don't know how this thing will evolve. What should I do because I went through so much already in my 17 years old in life such as my parents divorce, my school failures that I don't even want you talk about and now friends problems.

Hi I'm new to this forum

replies: 11

Hi I'm 56 and have had a lifetime battle with depression. One I'm not winning at the moment. I can't even pretend to be coping well. I know I'm falling down a deep hole. I am back to being miserable - almost frozen at times. I suppose I know it will eventually pass but it feels just so awful. I don't have the energy to do things that keep me going and make life better. I'm so tired and am sleeping too much. I have avoided doing activities I usually enjoy and earlier this year I'd been ok but this has been happening for weeks now. I went to a toastmasters meeting last night the first one for about 6 weeks and while I was there was ok being with friends but now it's 4.30am and I haven't slept and there's nobody to talk to and I think about all the stuff that makes my life miserable. I am the carer for my elderly Mum who has terminal cancer and I suspect also has depression and is showing signs of dementia. Her gp won't treat or even diagnose depression or dementia unless mum asks for help. So most of the time mum chooses to stay in her room. She rarely goes outside and only goes out to go to medical appointments. Much of the time mum is either hostile towards me or gives me the silent treatment. I have no husband or children but am fortunate have the world's best pooch. Feeling sorry for myself tonight.

New!

replies: 2

Hi guys, i am new to this, I don’t really get involved in any forums and don’t talk to many people about my anxiety besides my partner and some close friends. I have been suffering bad lately, particularly health anxiety. I have been going to the doctor a lot with different issues, and unsure if my physical symptoms are part of my anxiety. I can’t help but think the worst, and feel like I am really sick all the time. It’s making me really sad not being able to enjoy my life fully. I’m hoping it will help talking to others who are going through the same thing.

First time caller, long time listener

replies: 2

Hi I have been a reader of Black Dog and Beyond Blue literature for about 10 years and have suffered from depression and anxiety since around 2005 after my first panic attack. I realised after some years that I had been suffering from depression for most of my life but had no name for it or had even really heard of it. The closest I heard was "low self esteem" which only partly described how I felt. I am just here to say hello and am also feeling cometely disconnected from everything I love to do right now. My symptoms have evolved into something that feels too big and I feel so small and must carry out my day to day tasks and employment by faking normallcy. I have been treating my symptoms with exercise as I never found the right medication. Lately it has nit been working and I'm afraid all the time with the nameless dread that you are all probably familiar with.

Meet your community champions! replies: 10

HELP..Am I posting in the right section? replies: 10

Just a question replies: 5

Surviving narcissism replies: 13

Direction replies: 9

Hi there! Just a guy who struggles with performing and needing validation replies: 10

My Story and toxic shame replies: 2

tired, sad, tense and anxious replies: 2

Inability to fight depression while life keeps sending bad things to me replies: 1

Hi I'm new to this forum replies: 11

New! replies: 2

First time caller, long time listener replies: 2