Welcome and Orientation

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Meet your community champions!

replies: 12

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

HELP..Am I posting in the right section?

replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

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Hi Lovelies! Any Tips on Managing Depression, Anxiety & Over-Thinking? The

replies: 4

Tips unrelated to: - Medication - A psychologist or classes as I am always either working or with toddler in tow. - Speaking to family, because whenever I speak to them about anything all they have to say is 'COME HOME', which doesn't help the situation. - Speaking to friends. Due to my inability to keep in contact through technology with my nearest and dearest. It would not be fair of me to randomly crop up in my worse state, bombarding them with my crazy thoughts. I'm also aware that exercise and fresh air would help me. But I have literally no motivation to leave my bed. Except for having to, to take care of my kids, and work. Thank you all who manage to read through it all xx

Hi I need someone to talk to please I am feeling so lost

replies: 2

not sure wot to say? hope this anonymous? xxxooo

Anxiety

replies: 2

Hi, im new to this group & posting for the first time, im a mum of 3girls & struggling atm with my relationship really bad

Is my view of life being affected by depression or do so change my life around to beat it?

replies: 4

Hello, New member here but a life-long history of on and off clinical depression. I should know by now but I don't trust my judgement when the blue is so deep. I have a good life, according to most. On the outside it loos like this- a loving partner of 8 years, a child, 2 houses, a dog. On the inside it's a different story: doubts of being the best parent I can be, a partner who is non-communicative and a person of habit (a total opposite to me). It all started again some years ago when I gave birth. My life turned upside down. Health issues for me and baby, stress with moving to the country, no support. I have no family here and my partner's family is more stressful than helpful. Diagnosed with PND. medication. Counselling. The lot. It all helped me not be suicidal but the sadness, the disparity has never gone away. If I were an alcoholic, you'd call me a high functioning one. That's what I am with depression. I get things done but never feel good. I feel lost and lonely. I am sure many others do. Except I find absolutely no point in going on. I am here for my child. It's the only reason I'm still alive. But I can't help but wonder if I should change my life around- leave my partner, go home overseas to family, travel , do what I want. Or is it depression making me feel that my life is so crap?! My partner wouldn't move with us. We've discussed it. He'll never leave his comfort zone. Not even for his child. This was hurtful to realise. We moved to the country once baby was born so I am isolated from all my friends. Previously I had a great career. Now I have no job. First time in 20 years. Do I stay or leave. What will this do to my child?! He has a great bond with his dad. I am so scared of doing something but so over not doing anything. It feels I have tried everything to beat this depression. Cognitive thinking training, psychologist weekly or fortnightly, medication, journal keeping, etc. You name it. It never goes away. It's exhausting. It makes me angry. Then it makes me numb to the whole world. It feels like I have been killed on the inside. Just a shell left that is on auto pilot every day. Please tell me when it will stop. What can I do? Thank you

HSC and getting Pre acceptance into a uni course that I wish to do to relieve stress of the HSC

replies: 2

Hi everyone I'm currently in year 10 and I'm choosing my subjects for year 11 and 12. I was wondering if anyone would be able to help me and my parents as I already have the course that I want to do when I finish school which is with Western Sydney University, however, I have serve anxiety, depression and have recently gone downhill and I want to know if I can and how to get pre-acceptance to the course to relieve some stress of completing my HSC. As I'm currently doing an accelerated program with my school for Studies of Religion 2 units so this term I sit my Prelim exam and next year sit the HSC for that subject in year 11. I will be extremely thankful for anyone who is able to help

Same old

replies: 3

Hey At risk of sounding like broken record, I too suffer from debilitating depression and anxiety on a daily basis. I know that this is an open forum and I'm grateful for an avenue to vent and express my (many) issues but the reason I've withheld for so long posting is because I often think "why" what's the point? It's obvious that everyone has their own demons to battle and we are the centre of our own universe as our perspective reflects. My story is not unique and may bore many readers as they take arms and battle each and everyday or choose to let the darkness take over, what ever. Here it is I've battle with depression day in, day out for most of my life. Isolation and not feeling a connection with anyone has been a common theme through out my life and has sabotaged and destroyed many a friendship and opportunity to move forward from I'd say age 13 (I'm now 46). I'm constantly in conflict with not wanting to be around people and do "things" with people and an unbelievable feeling of isolation and loneliness. I've struggled immensely with low self esteem and hating myself for what I am, knowing that I have the power to change and create a better reality but constantly retreating back into my negativity and self sabotage. I'm trapped. My marriage has ended and I have two incredible boys whom I try to function normally for. My only purpose is to provide for them a stable, safe somewhat happy environment. My wish is to provide them with opportunities that will help them grow and be happy. It is for this reason that I go on, it is for this reason that I struggle everyday to make it through another day of managing my business and providing for them. I have no other joy, I work and pray that they develop a vision and produce an outcome that is productive and enables them to connect, inspire and make a difference in their lives and those they are in contact with. I can't see the the struggle ever being over, I've been on medication for years and am tired of putting a band aid over the root cause weather it be biological or environmental it's not going to change. I know all about it, had countless counselling sessions , read all the books and followed the Dharma of HH. It all means nothing unless you can embrace it, but most importantly action it. there's nothing more demoralising then knowing all these things, and still not be able to pull yourself up out of the ditch. What's the answer? Is there one, or are we just counting the days down.

rejected again by adult daughter

replies: 11

I have 2 adult daughters. Eight years ago the younger was diagnosed with a cancer that is usually curable but hers was too advanced. The night before her surgery she told me she didn't want me to visit her in hospital. When I asked her why she said she didn't want anyone to visit her in hospital. I was puzzled and distressed but accepted and respected her wishes. The day after her surgery I took flowers up to the ward and asked the nurses to give them to her. A nurse asked why I didn't give them to her myself. When I said that my daughter did not want visitors she said, "She's got 2 there now". That's how my daughter ended our relationship for 4 heart-breaking years. Over that time I wrote 2 or 3 letters asking her what I had done wrong to make her cut me off like that. On one occasion I sat down and apologised to her for every individual mistake I could possibly remember that might have hurt her, even for divorcing her father, but each time she wrote back long incredibly angry letters about all the terrible things she is convinced that I think about her or imputing the most amazing, horrific cruel motives for everything I've ever done. These pages of invective were unanswerable. I lived that 4 years in an agony of the soul because I loved her dearly and was scared she was going to die. I tried 3 different counsellors over time but they couldn't help. They didn't get it. One of them blamed me. About every 3 months I bought my daughter a small gift and drove an hour across town to put it in her letter box with a blank card saying 'Love Mum' while she was at work. Never acknowledged. She still 'lives with' her cancer and works full time. Nearly 4 years ago I was diagnosed with cancer. My elder daughter told her sister and this brought her back to me; but it was always 'eggshells' with many topics off the agenda. 18 months ago I was diagnosed with another more serious primary cancer. This brought her a bit closer. Three weeks ago I rang her for a chat but she didn't pick up. I rang same day later but still she didn't pick up. I have done nothing more. 4 days later I received a scathing email asking me why I rang since I hate her so much. I wrote a careful email back but have heard nothing. I have no tears this time, just a self-protective heart of stone and detached anger. Last time was so disempowering; this time I feel stronger but I need contact with other rejected parents. We are everywhere and our hearts break in silence.

My partner of 14 years is making my life very difficult and unhappy and sad.

replies: 7

My partner is 68 yrs old and for many yrs now has become a curmudgeon, which concerns me deeply. He is retreating from social activities, he is not affectionate, not romantic. He is argumentative, and pursues relentlessly his opions and modus operandi without taking any prisoners, figuratively speaking, and without any consideration of my feelings. I am the collateral damage to his means. I have for many years let him do this without challenge as I care for him deeply and hoped that these traits would be few and far between therefore giving-in, with forgiveness, and just let him express himself. But now these traits are continuous and he never lets up, making me stressed and disappointed in his attitude towards me. The expression "That he must kill in order to eat", defines his attitude towards me precisely. He will risk our relationship by emotionally and mentally treating me cruelly so he can force his opinions upon me and ultimately force me to follow his ideas on how we should run our lives. i.e. the ultimate daily events that we follow are more important than the preservation of our long relationship. He cross-examines me constantly and I am not skilled enough to be able to resist his unreasonable force feeding of his insensitive strategies for his method of how our lives should operate. If I don't capitulate to his way of running our lives and his ideas he will badger & entrap me until I admit I'm wrong and he's got me to admit, that what I want to do is without merit or credibility. He will even humiliate me in front of acquaintances or strangers by forcing me to admit in their presence and declare that I defere to his accusation that I made a bad choice in overfilling the kettle or something as miniscule and trivial as that. He displays an arrogant opinion of himself and his ideas without consideration that we are a 50/50 partnership. It concerns me greatly as he is isolating himself from what can be a mutally beautiful respectful and loving kind relationship, something we all aspire to as we age. He is bullying me in order to dominate the relationship and never lets up on his inflexible way of how our lives should be run. He suffers from OCD, and this is escalating with age. Does the loss of testosterone cause aging men to become curmudgeons? I feel like I am in mourning at the loss of his affection and any generosity to respect me as a 50/50 partner. He holds grudges for a very long time if anyone defies his opinions or challenges him.

Mr Beau

replies: 2

Hi I'm 26 years old, i'm suffering Anxiety to the point that at random times i choose a substance to escape the uncontrollable thoughts and to escape a hole in the soul that i feel needs to be filled. I live in Australia. In Victoria. I want out from this prison. I really want out. Im on medication atm. Plus a mood stabliser. But it's not enough. And my stubborness refuses to go to rehab. What do i do????

New here....don't know what to expect

replies: 2

Good evening, all. Obviously, I'm new here. Very unsure about this. I'm sure, like a lot of people here, talking about the issues I'm dealing/struggling with is not easy. It feels strange "saying" it out loud. I've been struggling with depression/anxiety all my adult life. I've tried a couple of medications but really didn't like the effect they had on me in the long run, left me feeling just, flat and indifferent to everything. Although I don't deliberately use alcohol to self medicate, I can't say that it doesn't help sometimes. I don't have much of a support network as I've always struggled to maintain or even build friendships. Not particularly close to family but I am lucky to have a supportive Wife, however my issues do place a lot of stress and pressure on her. She loves people and socializing, where I desperately try to avoid any type of interaction with other people. I can do it occasionally but if I can't avoid it, get so worked up and edgy and am always desperate to leave as soon as possible. I love her dearly and feel so guilty about the negative impact I have on her but it is so hard to be "normal". Dark thoughts have been a bit more prevalent recently. Really struggling with just going to work or even leaving the house some days. Simply feel like I just don't want to be involved in anything anymore. I have recently, finally, spoken to my doctor about this and am about to try to start some positive, proactive steps to try to deal with whats going on in my head....a long road ahead, I think! As I said in the title, I don't know what I expect here. But thought I'd reach out and see how I go.... Cheers, all

Meet your community champions! replies: 12

HELP..Am I posting in the right section? replies: 10

Hi Lovelies! Any Tips on Managing Depression, Anxiety & Over-Thinking? The replies: 4

Hi I need someone to talk to please I am feeling so lost replies: 2

Anxiety replies: 2

Is my view of life being affected by depression or do so change my life around to beat it? replies: 4

HSC and getting Pre acceptance into a uni course that I wish to do to relieve stress of the HSC replies: 2

Same old replies: 3

rejected again by adult daughter replies: 11

My partner of 14 years is making my life very difficult and unhappy and sad. replies: 7

Mr Beau replies: 2

New here....don't know what to expect replies: 2