Depression, anxiety.. feeling crap

[Mzkc]

Hey,

Im a bit nervous about posting, Ive never done anything like this before.

So, Umm right ok so I am going to start with a short quick run down.

Ive never really fitted in socially, i am the unpopular one, the one that is always to blame for most things. Even if its not my fault, to everyone else it is.

So i am doing a life clean, or trying to. Im looking for new friends, new activities and i see a counselor. (I have anxiety and depression) some of my friends arnt very positive and they like drama. There is always a he said she said thing happening and i cant handle all that sort of drama. I am removing myself from that circle.

i am having trouble making new friends because I am worried they will find me annoying or stupid or that i say the wrong things.

Ive got a serve back injury at the moment and am waiting for a surgery date so I am not working, i find it hard to not work as my mind wonders and i somehow convince myself Im a shit human. I know I am not but i cant stop that feeling.

Anyway, i am not sure if my ramble makes sense, I just wanted to say it outside my counselors office and outside my lounge room.

If anyone else feels like this sometimes you are not alone.

[CBB]

Hi Mzkc

You are not alone, i don't consider myself great in the friendship area

when i was younger as friends we had mutual interests of being immature.

But as I get older I struggled with the mature stuff likesmall talk, conversation, empathy, sharing feelings, common interests and growing family lives.

So friends just dissolve away, once we get older people have developed those tight branches on their friendship trees and don't tend to swing my way.

Don't get me started on work, i injured my back so struggle with that too, and the regular politics Nice to your face then tie you to the cause of their failures to management behind your back.

Hospitality is a true friendly front to customers; but all their angers and frustrations they distribute elsewhere.

[Mzkc]

Hi CBB

Thank you for your reply. It is nice to have someone to relate to.

I have been in hospitality for over a decade and I have often wondered why I am still in the industry... Im not qualified to do anything else so really its all I have.

I have tried to change my career but the back problem I have has disadvantaged me and deemed me unfit to do the job.

How is your back? Is it better? How are you feeling? Thank you so much for taking tome to talk to me

[Demi_L]

Hi Mzkc,

Lovely to meet you. Firstly I am sorry to hear that life has been throwing you some challenges lately; you are responding and embracing them as well as you can- for that you should feel proud. It is very easy to fall into a self-destructive pattern when things start to go downhill; but from what you have said it sounds like you are acknowledging the areas of your life in which you wish to improve and acting on these. It is amazing that you are seeing a counselling as well as experimenting with new forums such as this chat.

As for the drama situation- I myself find it is not worth the time energy and also chose to separate myself from those who seek it out. I am not an expert friendship builder but I do understand that it can be extremely nervewracking to make new friends.

The best advice/opinion I can give you is to try not to feel bad if a conversation does not end in a friendship, or you do not get along with everyone you meet. The reason I say this is because you cannot connect/relate to everyone. We are all unique, quirky and have our own likes, dislikes and moral compass- some people you meet may have similarities to you in these areas and trust me, those are the friendships that stick and hopefully last a lifetime.

I also completely understand what you mean by the frustration of not working. I often find myself cramming in activities on my free days or even hours because I am nervous to be alone with my thoughts. But that is something I am trying to improve on this year- to learn to be comfortable with my own company and less reliant on others for happiness.

It was lovely to meet you and I hope to hear from you soon.

Demi X

p.s. Wishing you a fast recovery and safe surgery.

[Mzkc]

Hi Demi,

Thanks so much for your advice. It is very helpful. It is hard to go out and try to make new friends. I am 35yrs old and being older is a bit harder. Its true not everyone gets along or mesh well. Its hard to take the rejection even tho I know its going to happen sometimes.

It has been really good to meet you. I will post about how my surgery goes when it happens.

Thank you so much for your reply.

KC 🙂

[Demi_L]

Hi KC,

I can imagine with age it becomes more difficult. When you are young, you have this confidence that I only see in children/teens these days. You can walk up to someone and simply say you are friends... and that is that. I myself have noticed my confidence in approaching/interacting with new people diminish with age; so I understand that it is not as easy as I made it sound.

I hope that with time and exposure to new opportunities (such as this forum) you begin to form some amazing friendships and grow your support network.

Take it easy,

Demi X

[Keypi]

Hi Mzkc,

I feel like I'm in a similar boat, and definitely agree it's hard making friends in fact it kinda sucks but I'm hoping soon for the both of us things will start to turn around and I have a good feeling about this forum. It takes a lot of courage to step up and do something like this so try not to be so hard on yourself which is definitely easier said than done. But instead look at how far you've come to make it to this point here and now. My fingers are crossed that we'll find someone to connect with soon.

Keypi 🙂

[Danny_C]

Hi, I am having a relapse into depression/anxiety, and am also new to the forum. It feels great to share with others and to read their stories as the isolation is terrifying. Thanks for sharing, makes me feel less alone.

[Keypi]

Hi Danny,

It sucks to hear that you're having a relapse, I'm new to the forums too and everyone is really nice and supportive. I've been feeling quite isolated also. You should also check out the BB social forum its pretty casual and feels nice to just chat to people there.

How was your day today?

Hope to hear from you soon

Keypi 🙂