Depressed

[Sonakshi]

Hey I m just so stressed feel like speaking to someone but I can’t Bcz to trust people is not easy for me , I m married but I don’t know whether I m happy can’t expect anything from him I feel for him I m only like money making machine I don’t think he cares much about how I feel we both want to start family we tried ivf 4 times out of which it turned positive 3 times but every single time I had miscarriage nd the reason for ivf is not like I got fertility issues it’s like Bcz we have intimate relations like once a year nd that is also he is not able to discharge I don’t know the reason and also in any way I can’t be dependent on him Bcz every single time I trusted him he proved me wrong whether it’s house mortgage or planning future but from me he expect to earn as well as do house hold chores perfectly like a housewife it’s so overwhelming for me Bcz of cultural thing it’s not easy for me to get out of this marriage it’s been 5 years I m married to him I start with a new hope every day but nothing positive happens everything is only about him he wants car so he want to credit of everything which I have done but in his he brags all that as his achievement I m not saying dat he abuses me our marriage doesn’t feel like marriage to me which is becoming major reason for my stress nd putting me into depression I m just losing myself I feel like i wanted to make home but I just live in a house where I m by myself so lonely I can’t spk to my mum about this Bcz she ask me to adjust nd she say it’s just little things , I want child but out of lov not ivf I dnt have problems to go for ivf but this is when we tried natural nd it failed every single time . I want him to take may be half of atlest financial responsibility but he doesn’t take he can go back from his words anytime wen it comes to financial Bcz I feel he is lazy to work he just work for himself he doesn’t work like married men who is ready or can responsibility of pregnant wife nd later child

[Sophie_M]

Hi Sonakshi,

Welcome to the forums. It sounds like you’ve been going through a really difficult time. We're sor sorry to hear you've been through multiple miscarriages, are feeling worn down, and not supported by your partner. We think sharing this here is a really good first step towards getting some more support through this incredibly difficult time. Our welcoming community are very understanding, and many will have some perspectives and experiences to share with you once they spot your post.

Is there anyone in your life you feel you can talk about this with? We hope you know that there is always help available to you. The Beyond Blue counsellors are really kind and understanding, and you can reach them anytime on 1300 22 4636, or online. No one should have to feel this way and not have some support, and our counsellors are really good to talk to and figure out what the next steps might be, such as going to see a GP. 

There are other options too, like SANDS - their phone helplines are for anyone who's experienced miscarriage or pregnancy loss, and they're volunteer run so they can speak to you from the perspective of someone who understands what you’re going through. Every person on their phone line has themselves experienced the loss of a pregnancy or baby. You can reach them on 1300 308 307 and they're available 24/7.

If you'd like to speak to someone about your relationship, you can call Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277. They also have some great advice on their pages, such as this one on feeling lonely in your relationship.

Thanks again, and well done for sharing here. This is a judgment-free space, so please feel free to share, knowing that you'll be met with understanding.

Kind regards,

Sophie M

[Amelia02]

Hi Sonakshi,
I have just seen your post and wanted to echo Sophie M’s post about support.
I really hope you’re ok at the moment.
I would whole heartedly recommend seeing a psychologist - perhaps one with cross cultural expertise. If you’re in a big city like Sydney or Melbourne it may be easier to find one of these. Since COVID telehealth seems to be more common too so maybe you could talk with someone that way.
I am new here too but I noticed there is a multicultural section in this forum which is great as there is so much diversity amongst us.
Take good care of yourself, I’m sending you lots of best wishes to get to something better 💞, A