Hi
Forgive the nebulous title, it's getting late and this post is written out of need, not desire. I am very good at one thing at least: listing my own shortcomings. We can start there. I am 25 (male) and would describe myself as a straggler. I have recently moved out of home, however am still heavily supported by my family. I have a license but wouldn't trust myself to drive, and have not done so in many months. My social life does not exist, however I may rely on one sibling (currently living with me) and a couple of colleagues for a small subset of social interaction. This is unlikely to change soon, because I am engaged in full-time study and lack both the necessary initiative and social skills. My attitude to my work could be described as "barely sufficient" and I struggle to meet expectations. I have no burning passions to draw from, however I do find certain things more worthwhile than others. Unfortunately, I have let myself go: I am plagued by low self esteem and succumb to bad habits. Among other things, this has caused a steady decline in many of my skills and is likely to have affected my physical fitness by now.
Fortunately, nothing is ever quite so bad. I find myself lacking in almost all aspects, but not quite so much that my dependence on other people isn't able to keep me afloat. Sometimes, I wonder if life hasn't been cruel enough to me. But such thoughts are a luxury, and an attempt to shift blame away from myself.
I am not diagnosed with anything, because I haven't really seen anyone, but I may suffer from some kind of high-functioning depression. I do not recall any dramatic onset event, it's more like I've been slipping into this comfortable darkness over a span of at least ten years. At first I had hope that I would find my way through. I am still wandering, and "hope" has become a philosophical conundrum.
In case there was any doubt, I have never had any intimate relationship. Much of my youth was spent travelling. When related, stories of my youth often meet with amazement. Even now, my work is still prestigious in a sense. This makes things worse: how could I live up to the life I purport to lead? I feel like half the person I was ten years ago.
