Constantly trying to Fill the Void

[Miranda_]

Hi everyone, I’m new here.

My partner and I, had our first abortion this year, and I am struggling mentally since. It was my first pregnancy and I feel deep regret and sadness.

I have been struggling with depression for almost 10 years now and apart from that, this experience has really affected my heart.

I am 22 and I work in the mines as an electrician and I have no family or friends for hours away. This is the first year of my life 22 years of life that I haven’t got a single girlfriend. I have forgotten how to socialise and be a normal human. I am terribly lonely, and just need a girlfriend to grab coffee with 😔

[Sophie_M]

Hey Miranda_,

Welcome to the forums, we are so glad that you've taken a big step in sharing here. This is such a brave and powerful post. We can hear you've been feeling alone and isolated, and processing the abortion earlier in the year. We can imagine that would be really difficult, especially without trusted friends or family around.

For difficult moments the Beyond Blue counsellors are here for you on 1300 22 4636 and would welcome your call or online chat, anytime it would help you to speak to someone.

We’re sure we’ll hear from our community soon, but in the meantime here’s a couple of articles we thought you might like to look at. We’re hoping some of them can bring you a bit of hope or maybe some new ideas for finding connection with people more locally:

• Fun activities to do on your own
• Finding your tribe
• I know I need support, but how do I ask for it?

It is wonderful that you have been able to reach out for support here on the forums. You never know who might read this thread and feel less alone in their own experience.

Kind regards,

Sophie M

[That Other Guy]

Does this mean you wanted the abortion, or not? I get it can be complicated and difficult to navigate having to deal with this. Are you thinking of trying again then? Probably if you're struggling with some depression I'd recommend getting on top of that first, post natal depression can be brutal

I've relied on the internet for community for a long time. If there's no one nearby, that seems like the only option? Is your partner with you where you are?

[Petal22]

Hi Miranda,

Wellcome to our forums.

Im so sorry you are feeling this way, I understand it would be hard.

I understand that having an abortion would be a hard decision to make and I can understand your feelings.

Im sorry that you don’t have any close friends near by.

Is there some one you are close to that you can call and have a chat?

We are all a very supportive community here and we are happy to chat to you anytime.

[Mark Z.]

Hi Miranda,

Welcome here and thank you for sharing your story.

I can't imagine how hard it is for you, when you're traumatised by abortion on top of 10 years depression. My wife had 2 natural abortions before getting the right treatment and successfully giving birth to our son. She was deeply traumatised even she was surrounded by family.

You need social connections, especially for now. You need family and friends to be with you. It's extremely important. I understand that you may have pretty good income working in a remote area. But as an electrician, you should be able to find jobs in your home city as well, would you consider moving back for your mental health?

Hope everything will be better soon.

Mark

[Gos98]

Hi Miranda,

I really resonate with your post.

Your situation sounds really difficult and I hope you’ve found some peace since you posted on this forum.

Would love to chat more about this if you are willing? X

[Banksy92]

Hi Miranda__

Sorry to hear you've been struggling in this way since your abortion, I am sure that would be so tough to deal with without a strong support network around you.

Is your partner being supportive? I really hope so.

I know it's not exactly the same, but is it possible to reach out to an old girlfriend of yours to see if they wanted to catch up for a regular Zoom coffee? Maybe just once a week or so, to give you someone to talk to and a social event to look forward to.

I think any connection you can establish right now will be really helpful for healing.