Hi
I've just joined the forum.
Not sure how to begin this or if what I am doing is right or crazy.
I'm looking for advice on where to go next, what to do next.
I guess I don't want to go in to detail, because I feel uncomfortable revealing someone else's personal story.
However my wife is definitely dealing with issues which I feel fall under a category of not being able to handle rage.
Rage is also sometimes very sudden and at a level which seems unbelievably out of control.
Nothing I can say or do will help her to return to any state of calm.
When she is in a state of calm she has suggested things that would "help next time"
She has threatened me with a knife recently and I felt afraid for my life.
She has at other times done things which I feel very uncomfortable about which involve waking up our sleeping daughter so that I would have to go and look after her while she cries. When she is in a rage she yells and swears vitriolically with my daughter in the room.
I have learnt about myself that I am exceptionally good at handling angry people. Something I need to do for work quite often. If anything this has strengthened my ability to handle this part of my job. But because I am receiving this abuse consistently it is wearing me down in every other way.
I only seek to make her life better and she is normally happy for a week. But once, almost without fail , per every weekend she explodes in a fit of rage. The source of the rage is always new, something else that can't be prepared for.
I feel that this is a little unfair sometimes as I work very hard, keeping the house clean in an uphill battle against 3 super-mess-makers. My daughter, my wife and my small dog who all seem to keep me continuously working when I am at home. I do that all without thanks. When we first began our relationship my wife and I made a bargain that I would clean (as she is very messy) and she would cook (as I am 100% completely devoid of cooking ability). However the amount of cleaning has grown as we have grown. The places we have lived have gotten bigger and the size our family has grown with introduction of our daughter and dog. However my wife has reduced her cooking to maybe once or twice a week. Sometimes cooking for my daughter. But now mostly microwaving kids (they're healthy) frozen meals for daughter, sometimes resorting to takeaway. At which I don't judge but am constantly receiving judging and attacks.
I need to know where to go next as talking is just not working.
