Afraid for my wife

[Tony 24]

First timer, Hi Everyone, I'm 84 and my wife had her left lung removed last year, she is struggling and I help her 24/7 but I am getting panic attacks and anxiety attacks, Just seeing her suffering before my eyes, this is my trigger, I cannot get away from it. I am seeing a professional next week and have started to take Natures own Calming tablets, I dont want to see my GP and go on anti depression medication, too many side effects. I have this overwhelming fear for her and me being left alone, I have read all I can and go to darts and meet friends, and go for walks. but what happens in the future when you go home to an empty house, how will I survive mentally, I feel I am going mad, have great trouble sleeping , its always on my mind, I try to live in the moment, At my worst I question my worth.

[Croix]

Dear Tony~

I'm very glad your daughter was there after her covid and was able to turn must have been horrible experiences for her to good use. I'm sure at some level it will have helped you. Knowing what to expect is a great thing, as is talkng ot someone who has been there themselves.

I'll forever be grateful to my GP at the time who told me bluntly what was going to happen. He was right by the way. It certainly helped me get though it all.

You mention me going though stages, well stages take time, in addition there were waves, some days better than others. But it gets better overall and your acceptance word popping up I'm sure is a good sign.

Croix

[Tony 24]

Hi Croix     Its been a while,  my wife passed last Wed, I was with her all day, she was in hospital for 13 days so I have been coming home to an empty house for a while,  it was ok when she was in hospital as she was there if you know what I mean, but now I am truly alone, my daughter got me a rescue cat and I think that is helping, today I had to chose a coffin it was a very hard day, my panic attacks have dropped off and hot flushes gone altogether, I am not on antidepressants  I have two types prescribed but am trying to go without them, I do have sleeping tablets and take a quarter at bed time then another  quarter when I wake about 2am. You have helped my greatly and I thank you