A Friendship Hub

[Just Sara]

I’ve been observing members, including myself, trying to form friendships and connections with each other on our BeyondBlue Forum.

This trend is evolving and as such, doesn’t have a format to provide space for people to develop these associations.

Each thread has a topic which can and has progressed into long term support which is fabulous; some, including me, are finding it difficult to keep to topic as well as nurture this growing desire for a closer connection.

Another issue is of course anonymity/privacy and how this important aspect supports the sites reputation as a safe haven for sufferers of mental health disorders and related concerns.

As this site can have up to 70,000 views per month, it might be interesting to create a simple (one off) user survey. Information and statistics gathered could encourage BB to further develop its value to the community.

An added bonus is the consultative process itself. Users who fill out the survey are providing information as a holistic approach, that’s inclusive and representative of individuals having a voice that matters.

Identifying trends/gaps could be useful in supporting a new type of forum structure or a whole different section of BB, allowing members to converse similarly to a chat room; or at the least, have a forum ‘hub’ where members can create their own space to request time with specific users for instance.

I’d like to hear (read) what members and moderators think of these suggestions. Please submit your thoughts as they are valued and worthy of recognition. New members are very welcome to add to this thread as well.

Kind Regards…Just Sara

Definitions

User:
Anyone who views the BB site for information as well as forum participants

Member:
Read-only forum users or those contributing to forum threads.

Moderators:
ChrisB and Sophie_M

[kombitop]

Hi Sara,

Yes, I may run across you in threads too, which would be nice.............and to the point also. If there's a way to keep conversing with particular members, I haven't found it yet. It's the continuem of communication that builds interpersonal relationships, an ingredient vital in depression and other illnesses...........helps with the isolation and loneliness etc.

The electronic/personal concept I'll try to explain like this. When I talk on the phone with someone, it nice. When I see them in person it's great. And if that was a scale of interaction then chat/forums I think would be perhaps a step or two before a phone conversation. Like how a hand written letter is more personal than typing, and a smile compared to an 🙂

Appreciate your response, thanks

[Croix]

Dear Kombitop~

I hope you don't mind if I pop my 2¢ in - come to think of it your choices are limited 😞

The electronic/personal concept I'll...

First starting in the Forum I found it hard to relate for precisely the reasons you gave. In IT terms communication 'bandwidth' was minimal. There were pages after pages of text, dealt out by persons with names such as 'o_dear1234' (my apologies o_dear1234 to you if you are real).

Organized into 'threads'; the topics not always seemingly meaningful, or content logical.

In time I've found both good and bad with that limited bandwidth. On the one hand understanding and relating to another has to come from other than our normal means. No face, no body posture, no volume or intonation, in many cases no idea of sex or age.

This means there is a perfectly natural predisposition to think full meaning is simply not present. There is also the perfectly natural tendency to 'clothe' these thin text ghosts with preconceptions - to build up a mental picture of the person that can be wildly adrift from reality.

Firstly that very anonymity allows - at least in my case and most probably many others - for a freedom to talk about matters that would normally never be said (though perhaps to a priest in confessional if you had that bent, or a medical professional who had gained trust).

Secondly it is a language to be learned, as a person without sight might develop spacial awareness from hearing, so all the timing, circumstances, content, choice of words, avatar etc come into play. With the result that while one's mental picture of a person may be physically wrong, one's picture of the person can be spot-on.

E.G. My avatar shows mustache, bulk, an antique image. That's one of the reasons I chose it as that is accurate (I don't have the same protruding dentition though:)

It's the continuem of communication that builds interpersonal relationships

Talking one-to-one is difficult. Not impossible. But Necessary. I have ongoing conversations with a few by being in the same thread and waiting for their reply - like communication between Houston and the Mars Probe. Ungainly - though it does give you time to think and type.

Talking of space communication, theory and practice allows a side-stepping of the slow motion communication ping-pong by sending information in advance of the query, so the answer, if correctly predicted, obviates the need for the question and speeds things up.

My apologies for butting in

Croix

[Just Sara]

Hey again Kombi;

Ok...well I'm loving your intellect and forum 'speak'. To the point, relevant and informative...great! Your metaphor/comparison on personal/electronic explains perfectly. So thanks heaps. I'm sure others will gain from your knowledge too.

I've got quite a few threads going at present, you're welcome to join in on topic if it suits. Have a great day!

Sara

[kombitop]

Hi there Sara,

Thanks for your comment. I mean not to lecture nor advise, just share my experience. It helps me and if it's useful to others that's great! Have a good day too.

Kind Regards

[Croix]

Dear Kombitop~

Sounds as if I was lecturing or advising - oh dear.

In my very wordy way I did not want you to feel discouraged and that this environment was too limited.

Also that serious conversation was possible despite the limitations.

My apologies

Croix.

[kombitop]

Thank you Croix

[D84]

This is more of a general forum suggestion but relates to the topic.

For me the forum takes a while to load up threads and the All Posts/New Posts/My Threads tabs. The forums could also be improved by not having to reload the page just to display the reply field, ie. You click the 'Reply' button and the reply box is shown and then you submit it like you do now.

... Actually, expanding on this you could have threads dynamically update once a post is approved using WebSockets or AJAX. This would keep the forum thread-structure but might allow more seamless conversation? Like you could keep the browser tab open and posts would automatically appear.

[Doolhof]

Hi Sara, Croix, Kombitop, D84 and All reading,

There have certainly been some wonderful and interesting points being made here.

In answer to your question Sara, what do I want regarding the forums? Yes, at times it would be lovely to be able to have a greater connection with people, for me that is when I email my friends and family. I find that to be a lot more personal. I can see how the more personal contact is lost by the way this forum works.

When joining up, I knew this was not a site where you could swap emails with people or make real life friendships due to the anonymity of all users. I accepted that. There have been times when I have desired greater contact with individuals here.

Occasionally people just drop out as well and disappear off the forums. You can be chatting along quite nicely in a thread and then you don't hear from that person again. Like you mentioned we have the report button to use as well when needed.

I do see what you are trying to set up here Sara and I acknowledge your initiative. People have a need to be connected and to feel acknowledged.

Like someone mentioned, the BB Café thread has taken off, it is light hearted banter. Maybe we could start another thread where people can catch up for a more personal kind of chat. Maybe a friendship thread or something. We would still need to scroll through it though to find whom we wanted to chat with.

I'm not sure what the answer is! Like I keep saying, feeling connected is important.

Cheers all from Dools

[Croix]

Dear Mrs. Dools (is the "Mrs" still ok?)

You've touched on a real horror for me here.

I am amazed to find I'm forming close attachments to some people in these forums. One of the things I'm really dreading is when those people suddenly stop posting.

I have no real way to deal with that. All I can think of is that it is like a person disappearing and no body - 8 years then presumed dead.

While I'm whole-heartedly in favor of the anonymity this forum provides this is one drawback that gives me the shudders.

Although it goes against the philosophy here I would not be adverse to providing via the administration, at my own risk, a contact method very very occasionally to a specified user under some special circumstances - perhaps such as their leaving.

Swapping 'email' like messages in the forum environment - yes it would be good, though I'm not sure about privacy. As I mentioned earlier in this thread use of dedicated threads could do this, however if we get the proposed facilities mentioned in Chris B's post of the 6th things will be easier anyway.

As to how a chat-room feels. It's almost like having one typewriter with continuous paper, each person in turn types something on the machine with all the others looking over the typer's shoulder. What is typed appears on the paper when the typer finishes a sentence or paragraph - well sort of anyway.

Thanks

Croix

[kombitop]

Hi Dools

Really liked what you said..............took the words right out of my head! Particularly accepting the forums for what they are, the need (of mine) for greater connection, and possibilities for developing further. Searching and scrolling..............difficult opportunities for me to practice patience!

Thanks