Medicaiton Sads & Creative Loss

[LePip]

Hello,

I've been reading up on medication withdrawals and although my symptoms sound fine and dandy (read "normal") I'm feeling very abnormal.

I've been on an antidepressant for 1-2years now and have started to come off them. I've been lowering my dosage for over a month now. But have in the last week gone to zero and now I'm feeling all of the yucks.

I'm experiencing side effects of dizziness, feeling like I'm floating, heavy limbs, fatigue, nausea, lack of concentration, general downsome feels.

But my main issue is I am lacking all motivation and desire to create! I am worried that the medicaiton has really messed my brain - before taking I used art as my therapy & hobby but I feel I've lost it.

Do any fellow creatives have a positive story of triumph for me to find hope in?! Does it eventually come back? Should I keep forcing myself to art and eventually it will feel real again? I'm trying other meditative practices like yoga and I do walk regularly but still feel flat.

I certainly do not want to return to taking meds as although it makes me feel less terrible about living it actually makes me feel nothing at all.

Any advice/conversation would be greatly appreciated as I'm finding it very difficult to chat about this with my family and partner at the moment.

Pip

[Zeal]

Hi Pip,

Welcome to the forum!

It is crucial that you reduce medication dosage on the advice of your doctor. Has your doctor recommended this gradual dosage reduction? It's good that you are proactive about educating yourself. Just keep in mind though that, if you are reading websites, they are not always reliable or comprehensive sources of information. Getting advice directly from your doctor/clinician is best. Those side effects must be frustrating and impacting your daily life, so making an appointment with your doctor soon is a good idea.

With regards to your artistic outlets, the lack of motivation would relate to the medication withdrawals. Once you have stabilised from the medication change and seen your doctor about the side effects, the inclination to create will probably re-emerge, even if not at first. It's great that you make time to go walking and do yoga. I walk, but have neglected Pilates for years now.

Have you previously talked to your family and partner about your mental health? Having support from loved ones is great.

I hope you can seek help soon about how you're feeling.

Best wishes,

Zeal

[james1]

Hey pip,

To be honest, I'm a shocker when it comes to sticking to my dosage, but yes the withdrawals are no fun.

I like to create stuff as well - drawing (graphite and charcoal), photography, writing short stories, writing poetry, composition. I've definitely lost a lot of the desire, but I do find it comes back in spurts. Every now and then I get a spurt of energy to create something. The only issue is I'm usually on the train when that happens!

I try to do it in groups now so there's a weekly meet up group in Sydney CBD that I go to. Could you consider finding a meet up group? It's nice to have a set time for people just to sit and do their own writing then have a chat afterwards.

James

[LePip]

Thanks for the response.

I did speak to my doc and she agreed that lowering the dosage may be best -or even potentially changing medications- though I'm not keen on being on any. Then I moved away and have since ran out of my medication (whoops) and haven't been able to see my doc and get another prescription. But I think I'm feeling better about not being on them at all? I know what I need to do, see my doc. Discuss the options. But since I'Ve now been without medications for a week+ do you think it's better to keep on this med free path rather then stuff myself full of ADs again? I know, I need to chat to the professional.

i think you should definitely get back into Pilates again, your soul will love you for it!

I am quite open with my people about my experiences but I hate to worry them and since I have been feeling much better I'd like to keep up the good vibes.

Thanks,

Pip

[LePip]

I'm much the same James, I'll go weeks of taking them daily then I'll get forgetful and lazy.

I also find train rides the most inspiring! So many strangers to scribble and moments to write about. I make sure to keep a diary and ink handy.

That sounds brilliant! Do you know of any similar events in Melbourne? I assume there would be something, but I have no clue where to start looking..

Pip

[james1]

Ah yes 🙂 I was sitting on the train and just writing about a scene that was unfolding in front of me. Basically, a guy and his girlfriend were on the train. Another guy got on and made eye contact with the girl. Her boyfriend saw and it seemed like they were friends. He introduced his girlfriend but it was super awkward...as if they'd met before and didn't want to say...

Ah if you have a look at meetup dot com that's how I found my meet up group. I imagine there'd be a few different ones in melbourne too. Sydney has about 4 or 5 really active ones. Mine also does an art thing on Monday where people get together to draw and stuff. I haven't been yet because I feel like my art wouldn't be up to scratch, lol. But I'm sure they'd all be very friendly and welcoming of all different talents.

So what kind of creative stuff do you like to do?

[LePip]

Haha! That does sound awkward.

I hadn't heard of this meet up but I just checked it out - brilliant! There's lots of different groups and events in Melbourne town, artsy and/or depression related outings! Which is cool. Thanks a bunch for that! I've looked at lots and have joined a few groups in there but I don't think I'll go to any events soon as I'm way too socially terrified. Ha.

I think you should totally go to the Monday art thing! Of course your art is good enough (you're creating it so it's great) and I'm sure they would be ever so kind! If only I could take my advice and get out to all these events around here.. soon..

As for my artsy stuffs, I'm a dabbler. I've always drawn and painted but I also like film photography, giant masks, sculpting creepy (but brightly painted) demon heads, poetry and making garish jewellery. I suppose I just have too many ideas whizzing in my head at all times and like to keep it fresh.

[james1]

Ah awesome. I imagine melb would have more than Sydney. just because we're all finance nuts here, haha. And yeah, I've seen a few depression ones. I recently joined one about chronic health issues whether physical or mental. It was really nice (the first outing I went on. Just at a cafe where people caught up.

My suggestion would be find one where talking isn't necessary. E.g. my writing group people just work for 2 hours on their own, then tlak afterwards. Some people just leave part way through or just keep working through. Then anxiety/shy ones are always good because people recognise that you may not feel like you can talk, but want to get better in the company of others. Let us know when you feel like going to one and we'll be cheering you on the entire way! 🙂

Aha I introduced a lady to the writing one yesterday and she loved it so much she's also going to go to the art one next monday. I'm tempted. Maybe 😛

Film photography? Wow that's cool. It's so expensive now though. Does Melb have a good store to buy film from? Do you have your own camera or hire? I have a flickr account where I put some of my photos up. I think I'm similar in that I like to try everything hahaha. But I can't paint for some reason! 😞

Does your partner share your interests? Perhaps you could even convince them to go to a meet up with you? I find it inspiring going to meet other creative people and usually get more energy to do stuff from them.